University Park Is DFW's Most Walkable Neighborhood, Says Bullshit List

Matthew Rutledge
Oak Cliff
A new, bullshit list has found that University Park is the most walkable neighborhood in all of Dallas-Fort Worth. Highland Park comes next and Addison ranks third. And then the list ends.

Well, that settles it then. Come on Uptown, Oak Lawn, Deep Ellum, Lower Greenville and all of Oak Cliff, it's time to go home.

"Dallas-Fort Worth residents aren't known for walking," according to an insulting write-up in the Dallas Business Journal, "and Texas pedestrians can count on getting stared at for taking on the sidewalks in 100+ degree heat."

That already gives you a heads-up of where this list is going. Newsflash: People walk in Dallas-Fort Worth. People walk everywhere. It's just that in certain cities, walking means waiting for 12 minutes at the crosswalk while the rich give you a judgey stare from their cars, and Dallas can often be one of those cities.

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Congratulations, Dallas: You're Now Only Slightly Lazier than Houston

Patrick Michels
There needs to be much more of this if Dallas wants to out-fit Houston
Every year, the American College of Sports Medicine ranks the 50 largest U.S. cities by fitness levels, and every year we are disappointed, if not particularly surprised, to learn that Dallas ranks near the bottom.

There are a number of reasons why ACSM deems Dallas is unfit. We do poorly when it comes to fat people and smokers, which we have too many of, as well as rec centers, bike commuters, and swimming pools, which we have too few of. Among the other, somewhat arbitrary, criteria the organization considers: farmers markets, primary care doctors, dog parks, public transit use, diabetes rates, and golf courses.

That last one actually bodes well for Dallas' future fitness, since we're building a course in the Trinity Forest.

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America Thinks Dallas is Just OK, But We're a Big Hit with Republicans

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America apparently has not visited Klyde Warren Park.
Public Policy Polling is a new but fairly well-respected outfit that churns out an impressive quantity of high-quality snapshots of public opinion on political races and the important issues of our time.

But PPP doesn't let that stop them from putting out equally authoritative figures on the percentage of Americans who think Osama bin Laden is alive (6 percent); that the moon landing was faked (7 percent); and that a "secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world through an authoritarian world government, or New World Order (28 percent).

It's in the same attention-generating spirit that the organization today released the results of a national poll revealing how favorably respondents feel about a selection of the country's major cities.

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Dallas ISD Magnets Are Once Again Among the Washington Post's List of Top Public Schools

Irma Rangel Young Women's Leadership School
It's tradition by now. Every year, Washington Post columnist Jay Mathews crunches the numbers and comes up with a list of the country's top public schools, and every year Dallas ISD's cohabitating School of Science and Engineering and TAG Magnet are near the top.

This year is no different. Mathews unveiled his 2013 list over the weekend, and there are DISD's flagship magnets once again, with Science/Engineering coming in at No. 2, TAG at No. 3. They are topped only by Oakland's American Indian Public Charter School, which happens to be in danger of shutting down over allegations that its founder misused public funds.

But not everything on this year's list is a repeat. Almost reaching the top this year is the Irma Rangel Young Women's Leadership School, which clocks in at No. 5. Which means that, by the Washington Post's count, DISD has three of the top five high schools in the country.

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Dallas is Adding More Good Jobs than Anywhere Else

Justin Terveen
Five months ago, Dallas didn't even register on Forbes rundown of U.S. metro areas with the rosiest employment prospects, losing out to San Jose and Austin but also to Birmingham, Charleston, and Lakeland, Florida.

That was a prediction based on a survey of employers' hiring predictions. Now that the magazine has crunched actual employment data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics (via Moody's Analytics) and threw out cities adding lots of menial workers, Dallas emerged victorious.

Dallas is joined on Forbes' "Best Cities for Good Jobs" list by Houston (No. 2), Austin (No. 3), Fort Worth (No. 4), and San Antonio (No. 6), which, if you're keeping count, means that Texas cities make up the top half of the magazine's top 10 list.

From the introduction to the list:

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Texas Dominates Forbes' List of Fastest Growing Cities Thanks to "Robust" Economic Growth

Justin Terveen
Every year, Forbes puts out a list. More accurately, the magazine puts out about a gazillion lists with varying degrees of credibility, one of which ranks the fastest growing cities in the nation.

This year's results are in, and Texas managed to nab gold, silver and bronze, sweeping the top three spots (Austin, Dallas and Houston). The magazine was not particularly surprised by this revelation, given that census figures had already revealed that the state welcomed 427,000 new residents between August 2011 and July 2012.

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Dallas Is the "Focal Point For Oversize American Culture," Lamer Than Lincoln, Nebraska, Bloomberg Says

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Imagine for a second that there were no more lists. Nothing to say that a certain city has the best pectoral muscles or the worst selection of vuvuzelas. We obviously would have no idea that Dallas is full of lardassed squares who don't take showers but nevertheless have great career prospects.
But more fundamentally, in a tree-falls-in-the-forest type way, would Dallas -- could Dallas -- continue to exist without its existence being affirmed through lists?

The answer, of course, is that the question doesn't matter because media outlets count page views and thus will never stop churning out lists. Take Bloomberg, for instance. Just today, it released one if its own. But rather than rank cities based on a single attribute, it lists them in order, from worst to best. Dismiss the poll as unscientific at your own risk, because, as Bloomberg explains, the rankings were compiled using a little something called mathematics.

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Playboy Says SMU Has the Nation's Best Nightlife, is a "Never-Ending House Party"

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Says Playboy, the Idle Rich Pub is SMU's "campus hot spot that best describes the student body."
At first blush, it would appear that Playboy's annual ranking of the country's best party schools is completely arbitrary. How else to explain the appearance of the University of Western Ontario in last year's top 10 or Plymouth State the year before?

But no, this is science. "Our methodology?" Playboy explains. "We took America's top 100 colleges and ranked them across 900 data points in three categories: sex, sports, and nightlife." Throw them in a blender and, voila, you have a list of party schools that is 100-percent unassailable.

See also: What an SMU Sorority Party Playlist Looks Like

So when SMU comes in first in the magazine's nightlife rankings, as it did this year, you can be sure it's the gospel truth. The blurb accompanying the ranking says it all:

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Congratulations, Dallas. Travel & Leisure Says You're the Dirtiest City in Texas

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Patrick Michels
Travel & Leisure doesnt' know what they're talking about. Dallas is squeaky clean.
Quantifying a the cleanliness of an entire city seems like it would pose a challenge. Do you count the number of discarded Taco Bell cups? Analyze shower head sales? Perform a census of head lice? There are countless factored to be considered if you are to get a solid grasp of how tidy a city is.

Somehow, the wizard's at Travel & Leisureundoubtedly peer-reviewed list of the country's 20 dirtiest cities.

The magazine writes, by way of introduction:

The cities that scraped the bottom of the cleanliness category may show signs of grit, grime, or muck, but they all have some basic features in common: they're big, and most have a bustling nightlife. Partiers tend to be on the younger side -- and that may add to the disarray. "Studies have consistently found that youths and young adults are the most prone, or willing, to litter," says Steve Spacek, author of the "American State Litter Scorecard," which has highlighted the less-than-pristine conditions in such top 20 cities as New Orleans, Chicago, and Las Vegas.
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Study: By 2030, Six of Ten Texans Will Be Obese

Obligatory picture of anonymous fat people.
Quick: What day is it today? If you answered Tuesday or September 18, you're technically right but you're actually very, tragically wrong, because it's National Cheeseburger Day which a) exists and b) is a great opportunity to check out a new burger joint. It's also, perhaps, time to reflect on the consequences of living in a country where every day is Cheeseburger Day.

The Trust For America's Health just released a report titled "F as in Fat: How Obesity Threatens America's Future 2012," which, as you may be able to tell, is not exactly celebration of our nation's expanding waistline. The Star-Telegram reported the story with the headline that Texas is the 10th fattest state in the country, but the report's not about how fat we already are; it's about how fat we're going to be.

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