Dallas Bride-to-Be Courageously Recounts Harrowing Doily Mixup

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theknot.com/wedding/Natalie-and-Cory
Natalie Degraffenreid and Cory Teague's wedding is in 37 days, and, according to the couple's website on TheKnot.com, it's going to be perfect. She's a nurse, he's a firefighter; the Hallmark Channel couldn't have cast it better. The ceremony will be at The Milestone, an idyllic plantation-style house outside Denton. They even have complimentary cans of Coca-Cola! Someone's already bought them that Crate & Barrel French press! See? Perfect.

That is to say, their wedding was going to be perfect. Unfortunately for Natalie and Cory, their shot at nuptial bliss was ruined by The Great Doilie Mixup of 2015 -- aka Doilieghazi.

Here's how it went down, according to the dogged reporting of WFAA's Marie Saavedra:

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Oh, the Horror. The Slush of #SLEETSHOW2015 Has Taken Over Dallas

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Listen. This is Texas. The roads in this state should not look like the time we accidentally left the freezer open all weekend, and returned only to close it and look away, hoping for the best. The best is not what happened, though -- it was instead the very worst -- because closing the freezer created a frozen block of crumbly fish sticks that took days to chip away.

And it seems now the city will have to be chipped away at too, because the roads do look a lot like that freezer mess. The onslaught of #SLEETSTORM2015 layered the city with about a zillion inches (or one -- no one knows for sure) of slush.

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Fort Worth Crocodile Agrees with Dallas Porcupine, Picks Seahawks in the Super Bowl

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Fort Worth Zoo
Shouldn't devouring the Seahawks chicken mean he's picking the Patriots?
Not willing to cede the spotlight to Teddy Bear, everyone's favorite talking porcupine, the Fort Worth Zoo's 15-foot-long, 1,500-pound saltwater crocodile named Salty got in on the Super Bowl prognostication game Thursday.

While it's disappointing that the flesh used to tempt Salty -- the zoo's "long snapper" -- isn't that of an actual seahawk and an actual Revolutionary War hero, the ease with which he rises out of the water and devours the Seahawks' chicken is cool, if a little disquieting.


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The Most Harrowing News Stories About Dallas Residents Affected by the Bag Law

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Kate Ter Haar
Shut up, tree.
On January 1 Dallas residents faced a 5-cent charge on grocery bags for the first time. These are their stories.

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Who Made "Ouija Board" the Most Googled Gift in Dallas? Show Yourself in the Comments.

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felinebird
People in other, more normal cities bought each other cool gifts like Beats headphones and men's Uggs for Christmas. Popular toys and games in the rest of America were Legos, Cards Against Humanity and the Xbox, all fine choices. But in Dallas, for some reason, there appears to have been an enormous number of Ouija board purchases.

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Texas Is Woefully Unprepared for Ebola Pet Outbreak, Report Says

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Bentley the dog, may he live a long and prosperous life, survived Dallas' recent brush with Ebola. Maybe it was the $27,000 the city spent on his care. Maybe it's that, though it appears that dogs can be infected with the virus if they snack on Ebola-infected animal carcasses or lick vomit from infected humans, they don't become ill.

In any case, Texans should all breath a sigh of relief, not only because Bentley is so much cuddlier and more adorable -- and, importantly, more American -- than the African human who died here, but because Texas would have been woefully unprepared had the disease had swept through the state's pet population.

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Arlington Man Keeps Breaking "World's Longest Golf Club" Record For Some Reason

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Michael Furrh's shaft officially measures 19 feet, 5 inches, but he tells the ladies it's an even 20.
Everything you need to know about Michael Furrh you can learn from his outgoing voicemail message: Caddie Master at Caddie Club; golf ambassador for Rolling Hills Country Club; Guinness World Record holder.

Hopefully you didn't get bored and hang up, because that last part is key. At Arlington's Rolling Hills Country Club on Monday, Furrh used a 19-foot, 5-inch golf club to drive a ball 89 yards, thus penciling his name in the record book as the human who used the world's "longest usable golf club." We say penciled because records are made to be broken, this one in particular.

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The Tea Party Takes Paper-Bagging to a Whole 'Nother Level

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Sky Chadde
For shame, sir, for shame.
Halloween might be considered by some as a holiday for little kids who want candy or as just another excuse for college kids to get plastered, but on Friday the Tea Party took it as an opportunity for its costuming to serve as some bare-knuckle social commentary.

See, members of the Tea Party in DFW are not happy with some members of the mainstream Republican Party. This particular rally depicted in the above photo germinated in a debate last Friday between Senator John Cornyn and the Democrat challenging him, David Alameel. To the Tea Party's frame of reference, Cornyn said some very awful things.

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Poor Bentley the Dog Needs You to Buy 67 Items From His Amazon Wish List

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Linda Dannhoff
Bentley needs you to buy him a poop scooper if we are going to rid Dallas of Ebola.

Update: DAS wants Observer readers to know that any goods or money donated on behalf of Bentley will, for the most part, go to DAS animals.

"Someone has apparently misunderstood. The [Amazon] wishlist is for the shelter dogs, it's not for Bentley. There are a few items on there for Bentley, but the majority are for the shelter," said DAS social media coordinator Rebecca Poling in a voicemail.

DAS included the Amazon wishlist link in the Facebook comments section of a photograph of Nina Pham and Bentley to let viewers know how they could help the dog. Nice to know that throwing a picture of Pham and Bentley up, and hashtagging Ebola, has been great for DAS donations -- although CBS reports that the shelter has suspended the donations request for Bentley.

Incidentally, we assumed that most readers would grasp, as we did, that the lawn mower was for the shelter, not Bentley himself, since his legs are too short to reach the handle.

We understand you just fine.

Original post: The last few days have been filled with dark news: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed on Sunday that Nina Pham is Dallas' second Ebola patient, having been one of the nurses to Thomas Eric Duncan. And the World Health Organization announced Tuesday that the fatality rate for Ebola patients has risen to 70 percent. More than 10,000 people per week could be contracting the virus in West Africa by December 1.

But Dallas Animal Services knows what's really the crucial issue here: Pham's dog, Bentley. Poor Bentley, a King Charles spaniel, has been removed from Pham's apartment an placed in an "undisclosed location," according to the city of Dallas. DAS has launched a donation drive for Bentley the Dog, to ease his transition and provide some small comforts in his hour of need.

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Dallas Newspaper Picks the Wrong Week for its "Taste of Africa Comes to Dallas!" Cover

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Dallas Weekly, one of the city's main black-owned newspapers, just published its latest issue online. The issue date suggests the cover was designed pre-ebola, but the timing of the email blast they just put out is ... unfortunate.

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