The Most Harrowing News Stories About Dallas Residents Affected by the Bag Law

Kate Ter Haar
Shut up, tree.
On January 1 Dallas residents faced a 5-cent charge on grocery bags for the first time. These are their stories.

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Who Made "Ouija Board" the Most Googled Gift in Dallas? Show Yourself in the Comments.

People in other, more normal cities bought each other cool gifts like Beats headphones and men's Uggs for Christmas. Popular toys and games in the rest of America were Legos, Cards Against Humanity and the Xbox, all fine choices. But in Dallas, for some reason, there appears to have been an enormous number of Ouija board purchases.

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Texas Is Woefully Unprepared for Ebola Pet Outbreak, Report Says

Thumbnail image for BentleyShopping.jpg
Bentley the dog, may he live a long and prosperous life, survived Dallas' recent brush with Ebola. Maybe it was the $27,000 the city spent on his care. Maybe it's that, though it appears that dogs can be infected with the virus if they snack on Ebola-infected animal carcasses or lick vomit from infected humans, they don't become ill.

In any case, Texans should all breath a sigh of relief, not only because Bentley is so much cuddlier and more adorable -- and, importantly, more American -- than the African human who died here, but because Texas would have been woefully unprepared had the disease had swept through the state's pet population.

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Arlington Man Keeps Breaking "World's Longest Golf Club" Record For Some Reason

Michael Furrh's shaft officially measures 19 feet, 5 inches, but he tells the ladies it's an even 20.
Everything you need to know about Michael Furrh you can learn from his outgoing voicemail message: Caddie Master at Caddie Club; golf ambassador for Rolling Hills Country Club; Guinness World Record holder.

Hopefully you didn't get bored and hang up, because that last part is key. At Arlington's Rolling Hills Country Club on Monday, Furrh used a 19-foot, 5-inch golf club to drive a ball 89 yards, thus penciling his name in the record book as the human who used the world's "longest usable golf club." We say penciled because records are made to be broken, this one in particular.

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The Tea Party Takes Paper-Bagging to a Whole 'Nother Level

Sky Chadde
For shame, sir, for shame.
Halloween might be considered by some as a holiday for little kids who want candy or as just another excuse for college kids to get plastered, but on Friday the Tea Party took it as an opportunity for its costuming to serve as some bare-knuckle social commentary.

See, members of the Tea Party in DFW are not happy with some members of the mainstream Republican Party. This particular rally depicted in the above photo germinated in a debate last Friday between Senator John Cornyn and the Democrat challenging him, David Alameel. To the Tea Party's frame of reference, Cornyn said some very awful things.

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Poor Bentley the Dog Needs You to Buy 67 Items From His Amazon Wish List

Linda Dannhoff
Bentley needs you to buy him a poop scooper if we are going to rid Dallas of Ebola.

Update: DAS wants Observer readers to know that any goods or money donated on behalf of Bentley will, for the most part, go to DAS animals.

"Someone has apparently misunderstood. The [Amazon] wishlist is for the shelter dogs, it's not for Bentley. There are a few items on there for Bentley, but the majority are for the shelter," said DAS social media coordinator Rebecca Poling in a voicemail.

DAS included the Amazon wishlist link in the Facebook comments section of a photograph of Nina Pham and Bentley to let viewers know how they could help the dog. Nice to know that throwing a picture of Pham and Bentley up, and hashtagging Ebola, has been great for DAS donations -- although CBS reports that the shelter has suspended the donations request for Bentley.

Incidentally, we assumed that most readers would grasp, as we did, that the lawn mower was for the shelter, not Bentley himself, since his legs are too short to reach the handle.

We understand you just fine.

Original post: The last few days have been filled with dark news: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed on Sunday that Nina Pham is Dallas' second Ebola patient, having been one of the nurses to Thomas Eric Duncan. And the World Health Organization announced Tuesday that the fatality rate for Ebola patients has risen to 70 percent. More than 10,000 people per week could be contracting the virus in West Africa by December 1.

But Dallas Animal Services knows what's really the crucial issue here: Pham's dog, Bentley. Poor Bentley, a King Charles spaniel, has been removed from Pham's apartment an placed in an "undisclosed location," according to the city of Dallas. DAS has launched a donation drive for Bentley the Dog, to ease his transition and provide some small comforts in his hour of need.

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Dallas Newspaper Picks the Wrong Week for its "Taste of Africa Comes to Dallas!" Cover

Dallas Weekly, one of the city's main black-owned newspapers, just published its latest issue online. The issue date suggests the cover was designed pre-ebola, but the timing of the email blast they just put out is ... unfortunate.

Man Tells Sister He Dug Up Their Dead Dad and Brought Him Home. Joke Gets Him Arrested.

Jonelle B.
Most likely not the casket the man stole to prank his sister.
A little before 1 a.m. this morning, a 34-year-old man broke into a hearse at Hughes Funeral Home in northwest Dallas. He managed to take the casket out and abscond before officers arrived on scene. This was the high point of his night, we're guessing.

With the casket in tow, the man, Angel Jamaica, went to his sister's, on Browder Street in South Dallas. From the funeral home, that's about 10 miles. After his sister saw him and the casket, she called the police. It was now around 1:30 a.m. The sister told dispatch that her brother had dug up their father's corpse from a cemetery and brought him home.

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Taco Bell Corporate Owner's New Banh Shop Near SMU Has Commie Logo. You Expected Tasteful?

Hey Yum! Brands: Just slap a sickle and hammer on that star, and maybe you can offend Russians too.

Banh Shop's theme is apparently as red as the tomato slabs on their overpriced sandwiches. The fast food joint, owned by the Taco Bell parent company Yum! Brands, opened three days ago as a pilot restaurant near SMU. But visitors may have noticed more than awkward guacamole and sour cream on their sandwiches. Looking around, the place is rife with underhanded Vietnam War references.

First, visitors are greeted by the shop's red, five-pointed star logo, the symbol for communism. Their motto is "Saigon Street Food" -- which sounds catchier than Ho Chi Minh City Street Food, but gives the creeping impression that the red star, looming overbearingly above the motto, might soon encroach on former Saigon. And there's the overpoweringly red and black website, which lists sandwich choices such as "Grilled Steak," "Grilled Tofu," "Grilled Chicken Breast," "Grilled Pork Meatball," and then, oddly, "The American."

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CBS I-Team Sleuth Mireya Villareal Can Use Facebook, Is No Brett Shipp

CBS 11
Mireya Villareal
Our apologies to WFAA's Brett Shipp. After a lengthy run as our favorite local investigative TV journalist -- occasionally prone to hyperbole, sure, but a fantastic reporter with the proper evening-news mix of charm and obnoxiousness -- he has been displaced. That coveted spot in our heart now goes to CBS 11's Mireya Villareal.

Villareal is a relative newcomer to the Dallas media market, but she appeared on our radar early in her tenure when her sleuthing revealed that there is sex on the Internet and that Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings enjoys fine wine.

Last night she delivered another hard-charging report, this one revealing that Dallas PD's godawful new computer system was purchased from Unisys, one of the companies that may have paid bribes to John Wiley Price.

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