Some holiday video choices after the jump, including a can't-miss local cable-access "Happy Birthday, Jesus!" carol from Len & Esther Hutsell, formerly the pastors at Hillview Terrace Assembly on John West Road, and Linus on the true meaning of Christmas from A Charlie Brown Christmas (not the Scrubs version, either). Also, how the Chosen Folks plan to spend the evening. You better watch out ... --Robert Wilonsky
Look, I have no idea whether this is legit or not, but you've got less than an hour to decide for yourself. Because, see, Dallas-based "Iphone Trendz" claims it's selling that hardest-to-find Christmas present: a single unlocked 8G iPhone "compatible with any GSM Wireless carrier in the world," which also contains "300 utilities, applications and themes." Two folks have already bid on the phone, pushing its price past the $500 mark (which is incredibly reasonable, all things considered). Me, I'm just pointing it out -- like I said, your call. --Robert Wilonsky
Far as I'm concerned at this point, three e-mails is a "torrent," so consider this a public service: If you'd like to order yourself one of those pink Tony Romo jerseys, like a certain someone was wearing Sunday at Texas Stadium, all you gotta do is go here -- to the NFL's official pro shop, matter of fact. A mere $59.99 will get you, or a loved one, the "Reebok Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo Women's Vibrant Replica Jersey."
A Friend of Unfair Park directs our attention this a.m. to KERA's Arts + Culture blog, which features a short film from Rob Tranchin, who writes, produces and directs docs for station. The subject of his short film Million Dollar Monarch is, no kidding, a tree -- specifically, the familiar pecan at Preston Road and Armstrong Parkway that becomes the drive-by attraction at Christmastime. Turns out, that tree's danged near as old as Dallas itself: Says Tranchin in the doc, it dates back to at least 1865, when Joseph Cole was working in his cornfield and noticed the tree, which, back then, was "no bigger around than a pencil," so Cole protected it. Fascinating. --Robert Wilonsky
USA Today today mourns the death of Christmas carol. Alas, don't fret, says Michael Hawn, Director of the Master of Sacred Music Program at SMU: "It will take imagination and a willingness to break the ice," he tells the paper. "Singing is an act that naturally enhances a sense of community, whether it's 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game,' the national anthem or Christmas carols." Like this holiday favorite, perchance? --Robert Wilonsky
This is but one of Richard Ross' pieces available for purchase. We're thinking of buying 'em all, so act fast.
Yes, yes -- we know, Andrea left out some folks in her holiday-art suggestion round-up blog roll call howdee-do. Like Richard Ross, the Brutal Juicer who, this summer, had a one-night stand at Kettle Art down in the deepest of Ellum. And, yes, matter of fact, Richard does indeed have an online store, the address of which he keeps kind of hidden on his MySpace page: Just click here for a vast array of Ross originals, all of which go for the way too low, low price of ... $40? That can't be right, Richard.
Also, speaking of Kettle Art, on December 15 Frank Campagna's gallery will kick off its third annual Holiday Prescence show, where locals such as Josh Reames, Erica Felicella, Broose Dickinson, Ryan Thies, Issac Brown, Jayme Nourallah and many others will be selling their "original and affordable work" just in time for the holidays. --Robert Wilonsky
Everybody should own at least one Tony Bones original.
Buying a beautiful piece of art is an intensely personal endeavor when buying for oneself, and an intensely freaky endeavor when buying for someone else. But maybe you’ve got a loved one who is mostly tasteful human being except for their home décor. Does the thought of seeing that Thomas Kincaid painting of the sweet little house in the snowy woods again at Christmas dinner this year make you want to test out particularly sticky dressing recipes with which to muss up that virgin precipitation? Or possibly it’s time to get your younger brother out of the Widespread Panic poster phase? (Sure he’s 35, but baby steps.)
Here’s a very brief guide to some local Dallas artists and their wares if you’re looking for something local and not pre-packaged in tons of non-biodegradable plastic and/or withered souls of your unborn children.
For the hip: Look no further than wunderkind graffiti artist turned legit artist, Tony Bones and his mildly disturbing yet disturbingly cute stick figures. Bones has a criminal record and a disarming smile, which has not much to do with his art, but makes for good talking points when someone asks your gift recipient about the drooling stick figure with accompanying stick-genitalia.
Over the course of the next few days, we'll be offering the occasional tip for gift-giving -- keeping it all-local, far as you know. This particular item's devoted to the sports fan in your life, who might want, oh, a 1901 Dallas Griffins ball cap for his noggin or a Dallas Tornados tee. Or a Tony Romo replica jersey -- from his high-school playing days. Seems Burlington High School's making a small fortune off the $45 replica of Romo's No. 16 jersey, which you can order from the school's online store. They're also selling tees, sweatshirts and hoodies with Romo's name and number on the back. You'd best snap to, Eastern Illinois State.
But let's say your gift-giving interests are more retro than the late 1990s. The early-era ball caps are easy enough to find: Go to Cooperstown Ballcap Co. and type in "Dallas," which'll bring up 10 old caps for your choosing, among them lids for the 1914 Dallas Giants, the 1953 Dallas Eagles and the 1963 Dallas-Fort Worth Rangers. They run $33 a piece, but you'd best order now: All caps are custom-made to size, and take two to four weeks per order.
Formulating Christmas gift lists and pondering what in the world to get the Dallas Mavericks fan who has everything? I mean, in recent times the Mavs have rid themselves of the albatross, made the NBA Finals and finally beaten the Warriors. Short of a time machine that could zap us back to the start of the fourth quarter in Game 3 of the 2006 Finals, what else could there possibly be?
Why, the team’s Above The Rim 2007-08 gift catalog, silly. Consider it the sporty version of Neiman Marcus’ to-die-for annual. Over the weekend I got my grubby little hands on the catalog -- it “goes beyond foam fingers,” says owner Mark Cuban -- that was mailed to season-ticket holders and will soon be available for purchase at the American Airlines Center’s team shop. And I must admit, “Wow.”
Unless you’re a MFFL that won last week’s lottery or have Cuban’s bank account PIN, most of the stuff belongs on FantasyIsland.com. But just in case, jot down 214-747-MAVS and keep this ranking of the magazine’s 10 most expensive gifts handy.
Tonight of all nights, you must not succumb to the show-us-your-tits costume contests being thrown in bar rooms and frat parties across the DFW. We won’t have it. Instead you have to get thine bedazzled and unrecognizable ass up the stairs of The Cavern for a Horror Remix Double Feature.
E.J. Anttila -- responsible for the artwork gracing the cover of Sean Kirkpatrick’s new release and, obviously, a horror buff -- is the master of taking out-of-print, cheesy, campy, garish, crazy, what-is-that? awesome horror flicks from the ’80s and condensing them to approximately 30 minutes' worth of essential B-movie experience. But that's not all: Anttila has described it as “Post Punk, New Wave and goth, juxtaposed over ridiculous slasher clips.” And if that’s not enough to sway you from the scenes overrun by store-bought French maid costumes, we don’t know what is.
Wednesday features two offerings from 1988: Hack-O-Lantern and Night of the Demons (which Anttila credits as one of the last good horror flicks of its decade). Anttila does a far better job of describing the flicks than we could, ’cause, well, he’s seen them, so check out this blog entry for the lowdown and some laughs. (“Do you want a satanic grandpa? Yes. Sex on top of a dead body? Really?!”) Be there at 10 p.m. First flick’s at 10:30. Trick or treat, Friends. --Merritt Martin
Bible Girl has asked me to post to Unfair Park my (late, whatever) New Year's resolutions that appear in the paper version of Unfair Park -- albeit in the advertorial supplement Resolutions guide, which you might have, like, missed or something. So, after the jump, there they are. And since we're on the subject of late-arriving end-of-the-beginning-of-the-year stuff, here too are the best-CDs-of-2006 lists written by the locals that, for some reason, didn't make the paper version of Unfair Park.
But before you make that jump, let me just guarantee we're not all about that antiquated 2006 shit. Not at all. That's why we're including here a brand-new slow-trancy tune by some girl named Farah, who says on her MySpace page she's from, get this, Plano. Like our pal Chris Cantalini, who introduced us to this would-be Paris Hilton (wuh-oh), we find it hard to believe she's from Plano; then again, she does sound like she's on the junk, so ya's never know. So, fellow Friends, get our yer glow sticks, pacifiers and E and jump on back to 2006.
Yes, this may indeed be a case of blogrolling, as we link back to a page that links to Unfair Park, but it's worth it. Because, you see, I can't think of a better way to end this year than by sending you to Cindy Chaffin's The Fine Line, where today Cindy has posted some video of our own Girl on Top performi...ya know, just go there your own self, because there is no point in ruining the joyous surprise of this belated holiday gift to you, beloved Friend of Unfair Park. Andrea's not thrilled about this, incidentally, but has decided to play along, lest I throw up here yet another item about Dallas Housing Authority's board chairman Guy Brignon or jailed DISD teacher Miguel Arango. We'll get to them again next year. By which I mean, of course, next week. Shortly after that, there are changes in store for Unfair Park. We thinks you'll likes.
So, Happy New Year. Be safe, be well and be back here Tuesday morning. Till then, drinks are on Bible Girl. --Robert Wilonsky
Know anyone on your Christmas shopping list with really eclectic musical tastes, or perhaps someone who just needs a crapload of red Tower Records shopping baskets? If so, then head to Tower on Lemmon Avenue pretty much, oh, right now. Because come Thursday, it will be gone -- outta bidness, an empty building awaiting its next temporary tenant. Till then, everything's 70 to 90 percent off, and though the selection is woeful, there are bargains to be had if you have the time and patience to slog through the leftovers.
Among the topper-notch items still awaiting your rescue: about a dozen copies of Steven Soderbergh's Bubble, the first Mark Cuban-Todd Wagner production to get simultaneous DVD-TV-theatrical release; a few copies of Sail Away: The Songs of Randy Newman (featuring Steve Earle, Joe Ely and Allison Moorer), plenty of obscure jazz reissues, a wall full of rap and dance music, loads of import British CDs and singles always worth taking a risk on at pennies on the dollar and, oh, about 20 Worf action figures for the Star Trek nerd in your life. (As a DVD extra on Bubble, I can't recommend it enough.)
I spent $30 on about $120 worth of product. And that doesn't include the shopping basket, which I grabbed as a souvenir for five bucks. Putting it next to my Peaches album crates and Sound Warehouse cassette holders. --Robert Wilonsky
