Well, Jesus, this sure sounds a little, ah, sketchy. (Cheap too -- what is that, a .02 percent tip?) Here's the lead item from a New York Times round-up this morning of items "Lost and Found in New York Taxicabs":
MIDTOWN, FEBRUARY 2007 A woman from Dallas left a suitcase in Osman Chowdhury’s taxi, which she took from the Hilton Hotel to East 35th Street between Second and Third Avenues. She gave Mr. Chowdhury a 30-cent tip on a $10.70 fare -- and a $100 reward when he returned the suitcase, which had been left in the trunk and which held, in addition to clothing, 31 diamond rings and a laptop computer.
Swore I wasn't gonna mention Jessica Simpson for at least one more day, but this one's too good not to mention -- because when the President of the U.S. and A. uses her name as a punch line, well, we are through the looking glass. The New York Giants took a trip to the White House yesterday, where George W. allowed the Super Bowl champs to stand on the grass whilst he said a few kind words. After comparing himself to QB Eli Manning -- "Eli has a father and a brother in the same business he's in. Sometimes the press are skeptical. And he just survived a big wedding." -- Bush alluded to the Giants' playoff run and the Yoko Romo-ing of Your Dallas Cowboys:
You stormed through Tampa Bay and then went into Dallas -- I'm a good sport. (Laughter.) We're going to send Jessica Simpson to the Democrat National Convention. (Laughter.)
See, stuff like happens all the time at Valley View. But at NorthPark, not as often.
As we mentioned in yesterday's missive from NorthPark Center -- where, on Monday, all manner of chaos was brought about by a viral marketing campaign for The Dark Night -- Arlington prog-rocker Bobby Schmidt wound up taking home the golden film canister containing the trailer that sparked the stir. Though police cut short the alternate-reality game planned for the evening, the game was just beginning for Schmidt and friends.
The Joker’s goons presented Schmidt with the film reel said to contain the trailer and gave him “a mission from The Boss.” They instructed him to “share it with the world.” But how many people have the means of converting a reel of film into an online video? Schmidt and fellow Ravens End band member Eli Ellison spent Monday evening scrambling to fulfill The Joker’s mission. So, how'd they do? Jump for the results -- and a pleasant surprise, if you're OK with spoilers.
I'm gonna invite Josh Howard over to watch, on a loop, this FC Dallas-provided video of Pizza Hut Park as it goes from soccer venue to hosting Jimmy Buffett and Edgefest within a four-day period, all whittled down to 110 triumphantly scored time-lapsed seconds. --Robert Wilonsky
You can read the single-page handwritten complaint right here. But a highlight: "Mark Cuban is getting Nowitzki and German soldiers for the Mark Cuban Missle [sic] Crisis on Federal Inmates, me in general." Which ain't even the good part. Riches was seeking $30 million in damages, but, alas, the case was dismissed in February. --Robert Wilonsky
Amid headlines about record-high crude prices, strained airlines and a deepening housing slump, True.com’s Herb Vest has some rosy news: Apparently, the crap economy isn’t dissuading daters from their zealous quests for love, no matter the cost of their sushi dinners, movie dates and weekends away. Vest, founder and CEO of the Irving-based online dating service known for ferreting out and going after criminal or married would-be members, today released a poll of more than 2,000 site users that reveals singles’ determination not to let money get in the way of love. Foreclosed homes and raise freezes be damned, they say; they’re holding onto their hope and their online dating memberships.
A couple of highlights -- and the first one's a ... shocker! Men and women appear to “have different priorities when it comes to discussing sex and money” or, like, nothing at all. Men rated sex as their fave thing to chat about (at 29 percent), followed by "nothing" and money. Women, on the other hand, put money first, nothing second, marriage third and sex fourth (at 15 percent -- so sorry, guys). But the best revelation? “It appears that more men (5 percent) than women (2 percent) associate with Kanye West's song 'Gold Digger,' and are looking for women to take care of their financial needs.” --Megan Feldman
Last night, in advance of the Pennsylvania Democratic primary, Jon Stewart hosted Barack Obama on The Daily Show. Which is so not what gives this clip its local flavor. For those so interested, scroll to the 4:22 mark, when Stewart asks Obama to "hope up" a "very common phrase" that really doesn't seem all that common -- not unless it's, like, 1988. --Robert Wilonsky
What, precisely, does a lonely traveling businessman get his travel agent as a thank-you gift when he discovers his hotel is hosting Playboy's auditions for the magazine's 55th
Anniversary Playmate? Because, no doubt, there are at least a few dudes huddled somewhere at the Westin City Center on North Pearl Street trying to sneak a peek at the would-bes as they doff their duds for a shot at centerfold stardom today and tomorrow. Here, incidentally, is the Houston competition. Why you'd care, I don't really know. --Robert Wilonsky
And by "George Bush," of course, I mean Will Ferrell, who last night resurrected his Bush impersonation during the otherwise laugh-free Night of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Benefit For Autism Education on Comedy Central. Toward the end of the clip, Ferrell discusses Bush's plans for his SMU library -- something to do with a Shoney's? If only. --Robert Wilonsky
Following Herb Kelleher's stand-up act in front of rhe House Committee on Transportation and Infrastructure a few days back, The Onion today serves up a "news" story that's so not funny I initially thought it was a news story: "Southwest Airlines Now Taking Passengers To Destinations By Shuttle Bus." And, yes, the only reason it's not high-larious is because travel via van is probably somewhere in the airline industry's future. (No doubt, all the folks stuck at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport last week would agree.) The funniest line's the punch line, of course: "As of press time, Southwest's inaugural shuttle-bus trip, from Dallas to Phoenix, is reportedly stuck in a traffic jam on I-10, because some asshole rear-ended a minivan and won't move his car off the road." --Robert Wilonsky
This lovely couple was spotted by the missus just moments ago at Destiny's Antiques, near the intersection of Forest and Marsh lanes -- ya know, where the old Park Forest Theater used to stand way, way back when. (Saw Young Doctors in Love and M*A*S*H on a double bill there in the early '80s whilst underagedly buzzed on strawberry Boone's Farm, but I digress.) The Mike Rhyner and Greg Williams bobbleheads are going for $10.50 each -- a friggin' bargain, y'ask me, though you'd really hate to break up the set, right? Not again. --Robert Wilonsky
At least, maybe it should be when a Dallas couple turn their wedding vows into a bit. Though, we do wish them well in their heads-up match. --Robert Wilonsky
In case you missed Channel 8 last night, Frisco's Mark Richter -- who goes by the name "FluteMark," and, really, the moniker is self-explanatory -- blew the WFAA foursome out of its 10 p.m. newscast with his snowbound video, set to the tune of, right, "Let it Snow." Few things: Christ, folks in Frisco got a lot of snow -- just a little more than the three flurries we saw in Northwest Dallas. And, it's hard to watch just one video of a dude playing the flute. Also, flute jokes suck. Fair warning all 'round. --Robert Wilonsky
This morning, Gizmodo offers this "exclusive": The Biggest Star Wars Collection in the Galaxy. And, no, I don't note this just to appeal to the 4-year-old who lives in my house -- turns out, the estimable collection (documented with 134 photos, good God) belongs to a local named Rob Foster, who works at Reel FX Creative Studios, which is now known as Radium Dallas. Among the A's in the lengthy Q&A with Foster: "When my girlfriend and I started shopping for a home, the only thing I asked for was an extra room to put the toys in." So, good news: You can fetishize "the fat dancer in Jabba's palace" and still get laid. --Robert Wilonsky
