​Perhaps you've heard: A spider monkey got loose at the Dallas Zoo this morning. It's back in its cage now, say zoo officials, who didn't have to tranq or Jabari the monkey to get it back behind bars. But the zoo also can't get the monkey to stop tweeting.

Almost "as soon as the call went out," says Dallas Zoo spokesperson Susan Eckert, someone created today's must-follow: the amusing Dallas Zoo Monkey Twitter account, which is still very much on the loose. ("I'll keep on tweeting until they take my iPhone away!"). Zoo officials almost immediately sent word that the account was not affiliated with, you know, the zoo. (You've been warned, Red Cross.) So, why the heads-up?

Well, as Eckert tells Unfair Park in an early front-runner for Quote of the Year™, "We'd rather not have somebody speaking as our monkey." I read that back to her to make sure I'd typed that correctly. I could hear her shaking her head. "It's a rogue monkey," she said. "A rogue monkey."

Via.

​Sam's World Series Game 1 preview-open thread's upcoming any minute now; start polishing your bats. Till then, this: The governor's office sends word that Rick Perry has, but of course, made a wager with Missouri Governor Jay Nixon concerning the outcome of Rangers-Cardinals. And it's not a terribly thrilling wager -- nothing involving the exchange of death-row inmates or illegal immigrants. Just a food thing:

"With all due respect to the Cardinals and their legendary fan base, it's really their bad luck that they're running up against the Texas Rangers, a team of destiny poised to win the World Series," Gov. Perry said. "The Cardinals have had a great run, but this is about the here and now, and as Gov. Nixon and his fellow Missourians are about to discover, you simply can't mess with Texas."

In the spirit of friendly competition, Gov. Perry has wagered world class Texas barbeque from the Salt Lick in Driftwood and Dr. Pepper. Gov. Nixon has wagered an order of St. Louis toasted ravioli, gourmet prosciutto salami and other meats, frozen custard, and a six-pack of Budweiser from Anheuser-Busch, which is headquartered in St. Louis.

"It will be a great day for the state of Missouri when the Redbirds wrap up the 11th World Championship in the team's storied history, the second most world championships of any major league baseball franchise," Gov. Nixon said. "I appreciate Gov. Perry's willingness to take on this wager, and I look forward to watching the Show-Me State win another historic series."

The Salt Lick? They have one of those in the Austin airport, ya know. (No Smitty's? Louie Mueller's? Mac's, even?) For Nixon's sake, I hope it's at least Dublin Dr Pepper.

​Been watching Gawker's mini-series The Worst 50 States in America solely to see where The Great State of Texas landed up -- figured surely it would rate Top 10, if only because of a certain presidential candidate who's now the GOP's front-runner. But, no. Texas comes in today at No. 13, sandwiched between Arkansas and Florida. So, let's see ... what's good about our state? Well ... the food, the music and Dazed and Confused. All right, all right, all right. And the bad?

Welp, let's see here: Rick Perry, George W. Bush, the board of education, Cameron Todd Willingham, the culture of capital punishment as a whole, guns, religious zealotry both inane and dangerous, smog-filled Houston, airless Dallas, scorched wasteland El Paso, and the way they treat their immigrants, their blacks, their gays, and their women. But mostly Texas is awful because despite all the miseries it inflicts upon the rest of the country (and its own citizenry), Texans rarely stop loudly and aggressively stating what a great, awesome, perfect place Texas is. The Texan ego is as big as the state, and no matter how much you point out to them that, uh, hey what about all this extremely terrible stuff, they will not listen. If you guys would just shut up about if for a while, the rest of us might like you a little more.

ReplicaBuildings/InFocusTech

​A Friend of Unfair Park directs our attention to Boing Boing, which yesterday pointed out that you can buy a replica of the Texas School Book Depository made of pewter courtesy something called InFocusTech. (Which prompted this comment: "It's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, and handsomely electroplated in antique pewter.") Turns out, though, that isn't the only local landmark available. Far from it. You can also get the Adolphus, the Merc, Old Red, Reunion Tower, the Kirby Building, the Magnolia Hotel and Fountain Place, among others. Sadly, there's still very little retail.

But this reminds me: This morning something called Second Act ran a piece about how folks are moving from the suburbs back into the city, and it includes a local couple who adiosed Frisco for downtown Dallas:

Kandice Bridges and her husband moved back to Dallas with their two children after spending two and a half years in suburban Frisco, Texas because "it didn't feel cozy, like our established, older Dallas neighborhood," she says. "I know my neighbors in my Dallas neighborhood better than I ever knew my neighbors in Frisco. I like the hustle and bustle of downtown, and having the Arts District close by. I take advantage of local organic produce co-ops and the vibrant farmers market downtown."

Bridges acknowledges that there are trade-offs, such as less house for more money and the expense of private school, but says, "I wouldn't want it any other way."

MediaBistro has picked up on KXAS-Channel 5's video taken from one of its traffic cams earlier in the week, in which an illuminated something-or-nother can be seen falling from the sky before taking a sharp turn to the right. The NBC owned-and-operated says UFO investigators (?) have been asked "to review the video and offer an opinion on the nature -- or unnatural source -- of the light." In related news: Cowboys & Aliens was also disappointing.

Image via Plano.gov

That baby is actually 45 years old.

​Perhaps you heard that Plano was recently named the 12th longest-living city in the country by the Daily Beast. But what you may not know is that a whole bunch of other listicles ranking places based on their General Pleasantness have spotlighted the 'burb. The results are mostly positive, occasionally confusing and always deeply scientific, we are sure. We have read them all, and now we can tell you authoritatively exactly what it's like to live in Plano.More >>

​OK, Honest Tea. You win. You too, Kat Kirsch, sender of press releases. Because for the past way too long to admit, we've been riveted to the tea company's livestream from Akard and Main, where that unmanned kiosk's been set up to see if people will leave a dollar, as requested, or just walk away with a gratis bottle of Organic Honey Green Tea. Anna went down there, just because it seemed kinda funny. She took a picture of the camera, which was hidden ... ish. That's her above.

Says Kat, "Currently, 97% of people in Dallas are honest!" Anna says the marketing folks on site say it's closer to 95 percent, which is still way better than the 90 percent-ish being candid-camera'd in New York, Los Angeles, Boston, San Francisco and a few other major metros. Guess it all depends on the equity.

A DPD officer on a bike just rolled past, taking a good, long look at the money box filled with singles. Anna wrote down what he told the woman refilling the shelves. He asked her if this was her joint. She said yup, at which point he handed her his card and said to call if "if any scallywags make off with your money." She said: "If it happens, it happens." Jump for the stream and a few grabs. And if yer thirsty, they're there till 6. Wave!

Update at 4:54 p.m.: Anna just brought back three teas -- she paid, swear -- and they're surprisingly cold. Highly recommended.More >>

​Pete directs my attention to this tee presently making the rounds courtesy Curtis Black, the same graphic designer responsible for the Obey Dirk shirt. My, that was fast.

​Texas Gov. Rick Perry has The Response. Ohio Gov. John Kasich has The Resolution. Here's the press release declaring Your Dallas Mavericks and the rest of us "Honorary Ohioans" tomorrow. And here's the signed doc, suitable for framing.

​A Friend of Unfair Park forwards along this certificate of congratulations from the Richardson Independent School District, which has been posted to Lamebook. High five.