An American Coot Flew Through the DPD Helicopter's Windshield Last Night (Photos)

Fungus Guy
An American coot
Dallas Police Department's Air 1 helicopter got an unexpected and unwanted guest last night. While the chopper was flying over Lake Ray Hubbard, a bird -- initially reported to be a duck but later confirmed to be an American coot -- flew through Air 1's windshield, shattering glass and injuring the pilot, Sergeant Todd Limerick.

The chopper's co-pilot, Senior Corporal Laurent Lespagbol was able to make an emergency landing near Dalrock Road and Interstate 30 despite the broken windshield.

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Watch Ted Cruz Scare the Hell Out of a 3-Year-Old (Video)

Zane Andrew via Youtube
What the hell, Ted?
In what's just the latest evidence that Ted Cruz's inevitable presidential campaign is going to be the best, the junior senator from Texas scared the bejeezus out of a 3-year-old girl in New Hampshire.

"The whole world's on fire," Cruz says, while doing his requisite yammering about President Obama's bringing about the end of American hegemony.

"The world's on fire?!," Julie Trant, 3, exclaims before Cruz makes an effort to comfort her -- by telling her that yes, indeed the world is on fire.

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Bedford State Rep. Calls Himself a "Former Fetus," Accuses Planned Parenthood of Murder

Jonathan Stickland via Facebook
Aren't we all.
Wednesday is Planned Parenthood lobby day at the state capitol in Austin. As you might expect, it's brought out the best in our favorite local state rep, fetal gun rights advocate and constitutional scholar Jonathan Stickland.

See also: State Rep. Jonathan Stickland Swears He Wasn't Threatening to Shoot People, Just Wishing Fetuses Had Guns

Stickland took Wednesday as the opportunity to replace the sign outside his capitol office with an official looking number that identifies himself as a "former fetus."

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Somebody Ditched a Rented Lamborghini on the DNT Sunday Morning

WFAA Screenshot
Like your prom tux, it was a rental.
Continuing DFW's storied history of people doing very stupid things in rented exotic cars, a driver abandoned a Lamborghini on the Dallas North Tollway early Sunday morning.

See also: A Lamborghini and Ferrari Crashed into Each Other in Fort Worth on Sunday

Initially, according to WFAA, police had no idea who owned the car, but the station later confirmed that it was owned by Exotic Skittles, a luxury rental company.

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Lewisville ISD Taking White Power Signs Seen at Flower Mound Basketball Game Seriously

Not a good look.
Friday's Plano East versus Flower Mound boys basketball game featured three overtimes, multiple lead changes and a white power sign.

It makes sense that the student section at Flower Mound High School's basketball games would have a sign with the word "white" on it. After all, the Lewisville Independent School District school's colors are blue and white. It makes a lot less sense for the kid seen on the right of this photo to have a "power" sign.

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It's National Weather Person Day, Time to Remember Pete Delkus' Dick-Shaped Storm

Pete Delkus via Twitter
I mean, what else could it be.
Twitter has informed Unfair Park that today is National Weather Person day. In deference to local weather god Pete Delkus, we're celebrating by remembering a year ago tomorrow, when we all laughed at a storm shaped like a dick.

Dick Storm, by the way, is an excellent porn name.

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Black Helicopters Are Landing On the Convention Center Again, Everybody Panic

Max Geron via Instagram
Time to drag out the tinfoil hats.
From Dallas Police Department Major Max Geron, another reason for the North Texas truther brigade to get fired up:

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Yep, That's a Car Plowing Through the Bike Lane on the Jefferson Boulevard Viaduct

Stephen Young
We highlighted the car in the bike lane because the photo was, in a word, shitty. Sorry about that.
This photo, taken from the passenger seat on my way home to Oak Cliff Saturday night, raises a number of questions. Chief among them: How exactly did the car get into the bike lane on the Jefferson Viaduct? There's no auto-accessible entrance on the downtown side, and the spaces between the pylons meant to keep bike riders safe from this sort of thing aren't exactly wide.

The invader continued in the bike lane the entire length of the bridge. After all, it would have been as hard to get out as it, apparently, was to get in. There were no bike riders on the bridge at the time, thank goodness.

Visual Proof of Dallas' Commitment to a Bike-Friendly Future: Parking Meters!

Ben Reavis
Welp. We tried.
Presented, almost, without comment. This photo was taken by local architect Ben Reavis on Wood Street downtown. It features some newly installed parking meters immediately adjacent to a bike lane. Be careful out there people.

Justin Terveen Grabbed Some Incredible Shots of This Morning's Fogpocalypse

Justin Terveen

There's not really any need for me to write much here, beyond noting that this morning was a very foggy one. Thankfully Justin Terveen got out in front of the fog, and he sent us these shots.

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