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Ever since they parted ways with ESPN Dallas, sports talk duo Ben Rogers and Skin Wade have hinted that they had something else lined up. They've just been vague about what exactly that might be.

No longer. As Rogers announced a few minutes ago, he and Wade have officially found a new gig.

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Twitter

We learned a little bit more yesterday about Jeff Bliss, the Duncanville High School student whose blistering classroom rant against uninspired teachers seems to have struck a nerve. He's 18, but he's only a high school sophomore, having dropped out of school for a year. He's new to, and not yet very good at, Twitter. His mom is proud.

See also: Watch a Duncanville Teen Deliver a Blistering Classroom Sermon on Lazy Teachers

We also learned something about Duncanville ISD, which has dealt with the situation in a surprisingly measured way. They initially released a statement reading, "We want our students and teachers to be engaged, but the method by which the student expressed his concern could have been handled in a more appropriate way."

Superintendent Alfred Ray reiterated that sentiment in an interview with Fox 4.

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Washington Post

We were pretty sure that Pulitzer Prize-winner Thomas Ricks' recent suggestion in the Washington Post that America exile Texas in pursuit of a more perfect union was a joke. Blaming the state for the JFK assassination (without Texas, "John F. Kennedy might still be alive") and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan looked at first glance like a low blow, but otherwise the piece seemed to strive for satire.

Ricks' piece inspired some very serious tut-tutting from the Morning News' editorial board. First, it was Sharon Grigsby:

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The Daily Show

On Sunday, The Daily Show's Jessica Williams donned a novelty sombrero and festive pink dress and came to Dallas in search of an authentic Cinco de Mayo fiesta. What she found instead was a few thousand disappointingly sober people gathered downtown to march for immigration rights.

Instead of drunken debauchery, she heard stories of immigrant mistreatment of immigrants. Her questions ("What's the craziest place you've ever boinked somebody?") were met with blank stares. She was disappointed to discover that the beer line was "actually for something called 'VOTAR.'"

"So 5,000 people chose to waste their Cinco de Mayo by marching for more humane immigration rights?" she asks. "Nuh uh. Not on my watch."

So, she takes some of the marchers to a bar where they find a more traditional Cinco de Mayo celebration filled with white people guzzling tequila and downing taquitos. It's wonderful.

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Pretty much every serious national news organization has at least a skeletal presence in Dallas. The major networks, as well as CNN, the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and the Associated Press, all have a Dallas bureau. Partly it's that Dallas is a thriving commercial and cultural hub, partly it's that the city's centrally located in an increasingly important state.

And so, as Al Jazeera prepares for the launch of its American news service, it's only fitting that it would establish a presence here.

Dallas is one of a dozen cities so far where the network will open a bureau, Politico reported today. The others: New York, D.C., Miami, Nashville, Chicago, New Orleans, Detroit, Dallas, Denver, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seattle.

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Washington Post

Obama's reelection last year prompted a lot of talk over whether Texas should once again secede from the Union. Except for a few die-hard secessionists, though, few considered it a serious proposal, more like an opportunity to make Texas jokes. So the debate just kind of fizzled out.

But the Washington Post (or, more accurately, Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Thomas Ricks) thinks there might be something to this Texas-leaving-the-Union thing. We just had the mechanism wrong.

"Letting the Lone Star State secede would set a bad precedent. (See the Civil War of 1861 to 1865.)," he writes for the annual "Spring Cleaning" issue of the paper's Outlook section, where Texas joins flip-flops, college rankings, and Ben Bernanke as things that need to go. "But what about expelling it instead? There is promise in that."

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Mireya Villareal is the junior member of CBS 11's crack squad of investigative reporters, the I-Team for short. She's a tough, no-bullshit type, as is clear by the Serious Face she dons in her photo, and she's dedicated her career to sniffing out government corruption and waste and protecting consumers from scams and predatory business practices.

Last night, Villareal turned her laser-like focus onto her computer screen, where she discovered that -- shield your pets' eyes, folks -- people are using the Internet to help them pay for sex.

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An urbanist's dream.

The Dallas Morning News, you may have noticed but probably didn't, is in the middle of a mammoth, months-long effort to pick the best neighborhoods. First came the safest neighborhoods, then the best schools, then those best suited for empty nesters. It's all leading up to the June 16 reveal, when the paper will anoint the area's Best Neighborhood.

The News has gone to great lengths to point out that this is not another throwaway Most-Important-Cats-of-2012 list. They've combed through reams of police reports, property records, school ratings and Census figures and crunched the data to come up with a completely, 100-percent objective method for ranking what might at first glance seem unrankable.

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You didn't seriously expect Ron Paul to disappear into a quiet, uneventful retirement, did you? If you did, you probably weren't watching as over a couple of decades in Congress and a pair of long-shot presidential runs, Paul became the outspoken face of unapologetic libertarianism, and you probably didn't listen to his blistering final speech on the House floor.

And so, a month after announcing his rather unorthodox home school curriculum and two weeks after unveiling his new think tank, Paul has taken on the Boston bombings.

In a column penned for the website run by libertarian Lew Rockwell, Paul blasts the government's response to the attacks as a frightening "taste of martial law."

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@ZooeyDeschanel

We somehow missed this in the chaotic aftermath of last week's Boston Marathon bombing, partly because we don't watch the news with closed captioning on, partly because we don't follow Zooey Deschanel on Twitter. But local Fox affiliate KDFW seems to have labeled the 33-year-old actress/indie songstress/Apple pitchwoman as an alleged terrorist.

"Whoa! Epic closed captioning FAIL!" she tweeted when she saw the above screenshot, in which the surviving suspect in the bombing is described as "19-year-old Zooey Deschanel."

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