Ted Cruz Wants to Slow Down Your Netflix

Gage Skidmore
Wants you to pay extra for all those awful things you do on the internet.
Everything, as we all know, is about Obamacare. Your delivery pizza costs 14 cents more because of Obamacare. Your uncle's Facebook wall is a disaster because of Obamacare. That traffic accident that slowed down your morning commute? Obamacare.

Ted Cruz wants you to know that net neutrality is just as bad.

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Ebola House Update: Decorations Aren't Coming Down, Display Now Benefits Charity

FOX 4 via Twitter
Still has really, really poor taste.
James Faulk is, apparently, very serious about this. Despite any negative reaction he may have received after media coverage of his Ebola-themed Halloween decorations -- and there were probably at least as many that were positive -- the University Park dad plans to keep the hazardous material drums, medical waste bags and caution tape up through Friday.

See also: Some Dumbass In University Park Dressed His House as Ebola for Halloween

In a note sent to The Dallas Morning News, Faulk promises to donate cash to Doctors Without Borders for every person that steps foot in his "E-BOO-LA victim room." Entrance will cost at least $1, the note says.

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Some Dumbass In University Park Dressed His House as Ebola for Halloween

FOX 4 via Twitter
Has really, really poor taste.
This was, unfortunately, inevitable. James Faulk has decorated his University Park home in the most tasteless way imaginable. It's got everything. Caution tape, waste disposal barrels, trash bags filled with "biohazards."

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Fracking Company Makes Pink Drill Bits for Cancer ... to Fight It, We Mean

Baker Hughes
Not from The Onion, we promise.
Baker Hughes, a Houston-based fracking concern with three offices in Dallas, cares about breast cancer research. Just enough, in fact, that they've made 100 pink drill bits to increase awareness this month, according to New York magazine, which pointed some other interesting links between fracking and cancer.

Unfair Park knows what it's getting its mom for Mother's Day.

Vonciel Hill and Michael Morris Join Forces and Seek Delay on Car-Service Regulations

Jack Keene
Would be first among equals.
You could see the dark clouds gathering Monday morning. Word had come down from somewhere near Michael Morris' Arlington compound that someone from the North Central Texas Council of Governments was going to make a contribution to the city's interminable discussion about regulating Uber, Lyft, Yellow Cab and any other transportation-for-hire service.

See also: Never Try to Take Public Transit to DFW Transportation King Michael Morris' House

That person, it turned out, was Morris himself, who showed up at the Dallas City Council's transportation committee meeting to regale Vonciel Jones Hill and her charges with the dangers of the city going it alone in the fight to protect citizens from any car service that isn't Yellow Cab.

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"Affluenza" Teen Ethan Couch's Dad Has Been Arrested for Pretending to Be a Cop

North Richland Hills Police Department
It seems like Fred Couch wasn't considering the consequences of his action.
You likely remember Ethan Couch, the then-16-year-old boy who, while drunk and stoned on Valium, drove his car into four people, killing them, and then got 10 years probation because of his privileged upbringing that the judge termed "affluenza"? Yeah, pretty sure you remember him.

Well: His father, Fred Couch, was arrested Tuesday morning and accused of (very poorly) impersonating a police officer.

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Justin Lookadoo, the Texas Speaker Who Says "Dateable Girls Shut Up," Arrested in Puke-Stained Car

Dateable guys know how to post bail.
Remember Justin Lookadoo?

Unfair Park forgives you if you don't. We've done our best to purge the esteemed The Dateable Rules author from our memories as well.

Here's a primer: Lookadoo is the uber-douche Richardson High School invited to give their students "faith-based" dating advice like, "Be mysterious. Dateable girls know how to shut up," and "Let him lead. God made guys as leaders. Dateable girls get that and let him do guy things. ... Which means they don't ask him out!!!" At a school-sponsored and allegedly "optional" assembly.

See also: Richardson High Schoolers Learned Today That "Dateable Girls Know How to Shut Up"

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New Police Computer System Error Sets Three Inmates Free

Dallas Police Department
Major Scott Bratcher in a press conference, fielding questions about DPD's new computer system.

It's never been a better time to get busted in Dallas, at least for inmates Willie Brown, James Langley and Jose Morquecho, who were each politely escorted out of the county jail on Thursday and set free thanks to an error caused by officers' unfamiliarity with a new computer system.

On June 1, a new field reporting system and records management system were launched. But the system has been off to a shaky start. Apparently officers didn't factor in a learning curve adjustment in using the system.

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Oh, Crap: Doctors Remove Wrong Kidney in Arlington Man

Two kidneys, one right, one left. That's very important to remember when reaching for a scalpel.

There are a few things you never, ever, want to hear a doctor say. Like "uh-oh." Or "oops." Lucky for Glenn Hermes, he was far away from the operating table when his doctors had their "oops" moment.

In December 2012, Hermes first visited the doctor for an odd growth on his testicles. After consultations with Dr. Robert Stroud of Lonestar Urology, Hermes was informed that he had a suspicious, and likely cancerous, growth on his left kidney.

At Stroud's recommendation, the kidney was removed and sent to the labs, and Hermes went along on his way until he got a call telling him that the pathology report on the kidney declared it a perfectly healthy, cancer-free organ.

In fact, it was his right kidney, still in him, that was still riddled with cancer. His healthy left kidney, meanwhile, had already been left to sit in a jar of formaldehyde and tossed away as biohazardous waste. But not before being hacked to shreds by a desperate pathologist looking for a nonexistent tumor.

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Mark Lamster Thinks Dallas Should Host the Olympics Because Parties Are Fun

West Midlands Police -- Olympic Football Images

Judging from an altogether odd post to The Dallas Morning News's Center Stage blog, the newspaper's architecture critic, Mark Lamster, has apparently decided that those "progressive types" who might be a little wary of the city's bid to host the 2024 Summer Olympics are just Debbie Downers who don't know the value of having a good time.

Yes, he briefly nods at the many potential pitfalls facing hosts -- like the potential for massive, catastrophic overspending and the way the games practically invite corruption and graft -- before sweeping those worries aside.

Lamster wants the Olympics because Dallas will be left with some "new urban toys," and everyone will, probably, have a really good time. He doesn't tell you the inevitable cost of those baubles, or what a hellscape the city will turn into for the months and weeks before and after the shindig.

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