Project Recap: Halloween Comes Early

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Emptying all barrels: Richardson's Shirin Askari with Tim Gunn
Bob Mackie -- or the "Sultan of Sequins," as Tim Gunn so flamboyantly introduced him -- was the designer judge and the inspiration for this week's challenge on Project Runway. Master of Madonna's sparkling bodice, Diana Ross's sequined head and hips and Cher's tinseled titties, Mackie is the go-to guy for stage-wear.

So the designers had to design a stage costume -- not fashion, as Mackie stressed -- for none other than white-haired siren Christina Aguilera (also serving as the fourth judge this week). She's rocked the bedazzled hotpant and the plunging neckline. She's worked cornrows to corsets. This wasn't going to be an easy challenge for so many designers who have either understated style or fairly refined inspirations. But even with a hard challenge, combining Mackie and Aguilera meant Project Runway finally got back the flamboyant gay spirit that Lifetime seemed to have sucked out of it -- even if only for two-minute spurts here and there.

It was obvious who had issues from the moment the crew returned from Mood with their glitzed out fabrics, and the incredibly confident -- and just as bitchy -- Irina said as much. But she was wrong in several cases.

Project Recap: Cher-iously, Not Another Bridal Gown Challenge?

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As long as Richardson's Shirin Askari is on the show, we'll watch. But if she's auffed, we're so off.
This week on Project Runway, which we're one local contestant auffing away from turning off forever, Heidi Klum flounced out on the runway and announced that the designers would have to pick new models. But not actual models. Instead she introduced some gay divorcées who wanted a redesign of their wedding gowns for their newly single lives. A slight revision of ye olde bridal challenge, but still too familiar.

Irina seemed to think that she's awesome, and everyone is secretly hating her for that. And I think she has absolutely no problem with that. She got first pick and went with the biggest, laciest parade float of a dress. Logan made a good pick and got a long train of material to work with. As the choices decreased, so did the yardage on the dress. Local girl Shirin got last choice and -- this irritated me a bit -- made it clear she wasn't happy with what she got. If I were her model, it probably wouldn't make me feel so hot that she sighed and threw her head back when we were paired.

Then her lady said she wanted something, you know, "Cher 'Half-Breed,'" and I changed my mind and decided Miss "Just Not Married" deserved every eye-roll and huff Shirin had in her. That being said, the girl is loud when it comes to bitching, so I wouldn't want to share a work table with her, either.

But with only two yards of new material and whatever notions-accessories they could get for 15 buckaroos, the designers headed back to the workroom to work some swerve into all that unsuccessful satin and lace.

Would You Pay $200,000 to Have Dinner With Christopher Buckley and Malcolm Gladwell?

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Patrick Michels
Santa and Berkeley-based cupcake car designers Lisa Pongrace and Greg Solberg
Unfair Park was among those at the Dallas Contemporary this morning getting an early look at this year's Neiman Marcus Christmas Book, and among the gems inside: this high-performance, Burning Man-tested cupcake car, yours for the low, low price of $25,000 (Santa not included).

Other highlights on display this morning include this souped-up electric motorcycle (only $73,000), his-and-hers private planes ($250,000), a massive chandelier valued at a mere $12,000 and a $200,000 seat at the Algonquin Round Table next to the likes of Malcolm Gladwell, Christopher Buckley, Nora Ephron, Anna Deavere Smith and George Stephanopoulos.

Update: For some holiday shopping inspiration, check out our slide show from the showcase.

Project Recap: Lady Sings the Blues

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(Louise) Black and blue, perhaps not a great color combination after all
Merritt Martin, your usual recapper, has let her personal life interfere with her TV watching schedule, so I have been drafted to fill in for her this week.

With 10 designers remaining, and Heidi's ominous warning in previews that "one OR MORE of you will be out," we were really hoping for a challenge that sparked the designers' creativity, drove them to ridiculous heights or barrel-scraping depths. But ... yawn. A color challenge, based on a department store brand. It may be difficult for this episode to be anything but lackluster.

Over in the women's loft apartment, Gordana compares the task facing the remaining designers to the Olympic Games. Ya know: Everybody's a winner, but somebody's gotta go home. Very democratic of her, but I'm not sure I'd compare making dresses out of newspaper and hot glue to world-class athleticism. 

Boom to Bust: Former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Now Designing for Breastaurants

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Patrick Michels
Former Cowboys cheerleader Terra Watson has moved her booming business down to Expo Park
Former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Terra Watson spent the last 12 years designing and manufacturing pro-team dance and cheerleader uniforms -- including her former teammates' Christmas presents to Cowboys fans, which are still on Santa's to-do list. But business isn't boom-boom-booming the way it used to; one client, the Dallas Desperados, took a season-long time-out. Which is one of the reasons why Watson's moving from the sports arena to the ... breastaurant.

After all, they're all the rage in this busted economy; back in March, Nightline came to Arlington and found it so hard to choose between Hooters, Bone Daddy's and Twin Peaks. Watson counts the latter among her clients; also on the list is Cadillac Ranch, which doesn't have a local outpost.

"Why wear a T-shirt when you can wear something that is actually flattering to a woman?" Watson says, citing but one reason why she's designing the eateries' unis. "That's my goal with the breastaurants: I want that niche." So far, so good: This week she moved to a bigger studio space in Exposition Park.

Project Recap: What's Black and White and Woeful All Over? This Week's Episode.

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Richardson's Shirin Askari and her model, who, for some reason, the designer is trying to cover up with newspaper.
I would like to state, for the record, that I called this week's Project Runway challenge last week based solely on the previews. Boo. Yah. They teased it with Heidi Klum saying that the challenge's answers would be in "black and white," and they showed a quick flash of something pleated, and I knew it was newsprint. Logan Neitzel thought it might be old Hollywood film, but he was so wrong. Hey, maybe it's just my line of work ...

As usual, he or she with the most soundbites was a top or a bottom -- and, well, Johnny Sakalis showed up two minutes into the episode saying how he could never be in the bottom again and how just wanted to get to Fashion Week, waa waa. Nicolas Putvinski was ribbing him, as usual, but he also turned into behind-the-back smack-talker, so it was clear Nick likewise would wind up with one foot out the you're-out door. That's just how it works, people. Oh, also, the designer at whom other designers leer and jeer because they can't tell if the design is boring, drab, shoddy or WTF will somehow make it into the top.

So Tim Gunn took the designers to the Los Angeles Times to meet fashion editor Booth Moore, and while they were all listening to her give the challenge, it occurred to me how much several of the designers resemble celebrities. Dallas's Louise Black totally looks like silent movie star Louise Brooks. Ra'Mon-Lawrence Coleman looks like Lance Crouther, minus Pootie Tang's magic belt. Logan is a dead ringer for Jesse Spencer of House. Epperson could be mistaken for Bobby McFerrin. I haven't yet placed Althea Harper or Carol Hannah Whitfield, but I'm working on them.

But, anyway. Moore laid down that the designers had to design a garment out of newsprint. Shocker.

Project Recap: Surf's Whack on the Sandy Beaches of Runway. Alt Head: Water Bored.

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Richardson's Shirin Askari on last night's Project Runway
I'm putting it all out there: I had to eat some cobbler and listen to the two-disc The Greatest Hits 1966-1992 by Neil Diamond (excluding "Heartlight," and repeating "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," naturally) to get this last episode of Project Runway out of my system. I'm not even exaggerating. 

But whatever. Basically, this episode just irritated me. The challenge to make a surfer chic outfit? OK, yeah, you're in L.A. We get it. Woo! Hoo! And it looked like those producers caught on that since they'd kicked off Alien Chick and Egg Boy a tad prematurely, they needed to kick up the drama between the remaining milquetoast personalities. Partner challenge! One person gets to be captain! At which point Mitchell Hall of the Bottom Twos picks Ra'mon-Lawrence Coleman and said, "I wanted to work with someone that could carry me on this challenge." Foreshadowing much?

And things were too easy, so ... only 15 minutes in Mood! Eek! Which, by the way, was but the second time we got to see the dreaded, mono-monikered Epperson talk to Qristyl Frazier like she was the least intelligent, least favorite in-law he'd ever had to be in the same room with. Meanwhile, Mitchell was acting like the prissy spoiled brat -- yelling at Ra'mon to quit talking to other designers, pouting, acting like an ass. 

Thankfully, all that was interrupted by Tim Gunn. Heidi Klum and the judges threw down the (not-at-all) shocking "second look that's an avant-garde relative of the first look" challenge. One person got to go to Mood again, while the other labored away in the workroom. I'm not clear why Dallasite Louise Black didn't make that trip, over her partner Althea Harper, since Louise can obviously avant-garde anyone under the table, but I'm thinking Althea pulled the "I worked for Vivienne Westwood and I'm the team leader" card.

H&M Is Coming. Just Not to Downtown.

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And not tomorrow. Or next month. But soon. You see, back in June, several Friends of Unfair Park were awfully tickled by the city's proposed efforts to lure retailers to downtown -- if only because the wish list included H&M, which gets as close as St. Louis or Las Vegas, depending upon in which direction you're headed. On Friday, whilst reporting the follow-up, I reached out to Sue Sernett, the trendy clothier's real estate manager in Chicago, to see if anyone locally had contacted the company to entice it to move to downtown. She replied thusly this morning:
At this time, I have not been contacted by anyone for downtown Dallas. I am not using broker representation as our target locations are in the malls. That has been my focus for our initial entry into the Dallas market. I have no signed leases in the market at this time.
Which, of course, begged the follow-up: Does that mean H&M is indeed looking to enter the Dallas market sooner than later? A few minutes later, she sent this:
Yes, H&M is looking at expanding in the Dallas market. It could be late 2010 or early 2011 but that won't be confirmed until we have leases signed. Glad to hear that folks in Dallas are getting excited. It should be really fun.

Project Runway Recap: A Local-Girl Showdown That's Pregnant With Hot Messes

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Richardson's Shirn Askari, who's so in; and, behind her, Malvin Vien, who's so totally auf his rocker
Last week, Project Runway welcomed as celebrity guest judge Lindsay Lohan, last seen losing $2 million in jewels. This week we got "film and television star" Rebecca Romijn, last seen losing two twins girls' worth of baby weight. Which gives you some idea of how long Season 6 has been sitting on the shelf: Romjin and Vern from Stand by Me had their kids in January, but Mystique was still way-preggers last night -- inspiring the pregnancy-chic challenge, which involved ginormous swollen-belly-shaped strap-ons around which the designers designed and to which the models were tethered. Awe. Some.

First the designers hit Mood, and Qristyl (seriously) nearly had a panic attack whilst annoying the shit out of the Mood cutting dude. Then we got all the talking heads of the designers' visions: Louise Black, hometown gal, was dying lace and riffing on a vintage negligee; Richardson's Shirin Askari was taking the time for intricate lattice smocking, and that Malvin is out of his fucking tree. He sewed up what looks like a BabyBjörn for babies before they're born. But, hey, man, Malvin was going for that fertility vibe -- because that's hawt -- and called his look "The Mother Hen." Wow. K.

At the same time, I'm not so surprised, since Malvin actually styled a rooster's comb on the top of his own head. Althea mentioned she can't wait to see what he turns out ... but then, based on her vapid interviews, I often wonder if she can't wait to see what comes out of her own mouth.

Star Wars Art and Johnny Cash Tees. Oh, Like You Need a Reason to Go to Oak Cliff.

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Jonathan Kimbrell
Been spending quite a bit of time in Oak Cliff of late, and if you need me 'round 6 tomorrow eve, no doubt I'll be accompanying the 6-year-old who lives in my house to The Soda Gallery for the Star Wars Fan Appreciation Art Show -- otherwise known as "These Aren't the Droids You're Looking For," as evidenced by the three hand-printed limited-edition silk-screened posters TSG's Jonathan Kimbrell's cooked up for the event. (He's made 20 each of the posters featuring Darth Vader, Princess Leia and an Imperial Stormtrooper, though only the latter will be ready in time for purchasing at tomorrow's event.) The Napkin Art-ist says there will be 15 to 20 pieces in the show, including a contribution from Lawrence Reynolds, assembled by Boomstick Comics owner Bryan Kluger.

Then there's this interesting note found on The Soda Gallery blog: Next week at ye old pop shoppe, Kimbrell's debuting his new line of tees via his partnership with Junkytees. It's called Deathray of Sunshine, which, from the looks of the line, will appeal to fans of, oh, Johnny Cash and Betty Page and Andy Warhol, for starters.

So, tomorrow then. Maybe a bite at Eno's after.

Project Runway First Episode Recap: The Two Local Contestants Play Safe and Stay Safe

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The sketch and final red-carpet dress from Richardson's Shirin Askari, featured last night on Project Runway's return
Dear Lifetime, thank you. I've really, truly missed Project Runway. Last night I was visibly excited to have it back. One thing though: Go high-def, for crying out loud. Not being able to see ruching and contrast stitching puts me in a teeny rage black-out. I realize you cater to the often middle-aged womens-needing-feel-good set and might assume such lady-types don't care about visual detail but you're forgetting that we, um, wear clothes. Also, you're now dealing with a rabid Bravo crowd and we're used to much better. If my mother can text message, you can broadcast in HD. Preesh! 

Now that that's out of the way... God, it's good to hear Tim Gunn pronounce "Mood" with three o's and tell someone to "Make it work!," even if that someone is all-methed-up. (Note to Johnny: This is a deadline-driven reality show. It might be a little stressful. Good on you for trying and all; bad on the producers for making it a storyline.) Also, so glad that Heidi Klum and Nina Garcia are still card-carrying members of the Bitches Who Are Right Club and that Michael Kors appreciates a good caftan for drinking by the fireplace (but, really, who doesn't?).

During this intro episode, we found the boys and girls of the new(ish) cast -- most of the sixth season was taped during the waning days of the Bush administration -- plopped in L.A. with what seem to be the most boring IKEA apartments of any season. But the stylists probably didn't want to take away from some of the absolute effing nutjobs that make up part of the cast:

Before Her Stroll Down Project Runway, a Brief Interview With Dallas's Louise Black

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Louise Black
Finally, Project Runway returns tonight at 9 on its new home at Lifetime -- and, if nothing else, Jon Stewart shares my enthusiasm. Of course, locals have two good reasons to take note of this dramatically long-delayed season: And as we've mentioned a couple of times, Shirin Askari of Richardson and Louise Black of East Dallas are among the designers this sixth go-round. So, yes, expect a wrap-up tomorrow. Well, look, it's either that or a report from Avi Adelman's appearance before the city's Ethics Advisory Commission.

So before we pour our highballs and settle in for the long evening ahead (two hours' worth of all-stars too!), this brief chat with Black, who's been selling her Goth stylings online since 2000 to more than a few Friends of Unfair Park who, says one, find them "a major conversation-starter."

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Black's Avant Garde Op-Art Striped Evening Dress, which has been viewed on her Etsy page more than 5,000 times
As it turns out, Black actually went to New York City about three years back to audition for the show, only to hop a subway train heading the wrong direction; Tim Gunn had left the building by the time Black and her husband had returned from Brooklyn. Perhaps it was for the best: "It was a blessing in disguise," she tells Unfair Park. "I wouldn't have made it on at the time, and if I had, I wouldn't have had the experience."

Black, of course, wasn't even sure her turn on the series would even appear, as it bounced from Bravo to Lifetime and made myriad stopovers in lawyers' offices.

"I was just kinda like, 'If it happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, oh, well, it's been a good experience," she says. "I enjoyed meeting Tim Gunn, of course, and Heidi [Klum] and all the guest judges, and it was a blast to be around all the designers and talk to everyone from all parts of the country. It's a plus that it's actually coming out."

After the jump, a few more Q's and A's.

Given the Looks of Her Collection, Louise Black Just May Be Project Runway's Dark Horse

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Courtesy Louise Black
I was looking for something unrelated on YouTube earlier this afternoon and noticed that Lifetime just posted the home-tour videos for this season's Project Runway contestants, among them local Louise Black. (We posted the Dallas resident's video back on July 9.) One thing led to another, and suddenly Merritt Martin and I were perusing her Etsy items, already garnering considerable interest in the days before leading up to the show's August 20 premiere.

The one at top's particularly fascinating: a Victorian Steampunk Anatomical Medical Skeleton Cameo Corset, which is the very definition of "slimming." Also: "beautiful" and "terrifying." Yours for the low, low price of $179.50. Her Project Runway try-out piece, incidentally, is a Ring Master Jacket -- available for $450.

Gee, Whiz: Kidrobot Invades Dallas Next Week

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This is Huck Gee's "Golden Ticket Dunny," free to the first 200 folks to the Kidrobot opening next Thursday.
Had no idea till receiving the press release moments ago that Paul Budnitz's Kidrobot was opening an outpost in Mockingbird Station on Thursday. The Melrose Avenue joint in Los Angeles is quite the kidult nerdboy hang; during a handful of visits there over the years, I don't think I've ever seen a kid in there, come to think of it. (Hence its rep as the go-to joint for adults who collect kiddie objet d'art. Because who'd ever play with a toy? Please.) Dallas is just the 7-year-old shoppe's fifth market, including L.A., Manhattan, San Francisco and Miami.

The company's NYC publicist says Thursday's grand opening officially kicks off at 6 p.m. -- which is when doors open, though no telling when folks'll start lining up. Why come? Well, see, not only will there be the requisite "music and refreshments" to all comers, but 200 early adapters will receive, absotively gratis, a made-for-Dallas three-inch-tall Huck Gee creation called "Golden Ticket Dunny." (That's it at top, but of course.) Says the company rep, "There will only be 200 available, so we are expecting a long line"; Gee will be on hand to give 'em out personally -- and sign 'em too. For those in need of a sneak peek of what to expect, here's Gee's Flickr set from the Miami opening last year. The 6-year-old who lives in my house is already in line. Is that wrong?

If Tony Romo's Vince, Who's Turtle?

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In this photo, I mean, apparently taken last night near the Key Club on Sunset Boulevard, scene of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback's Metal Skool performances with Mr. Belding and Jessica Simpson, awwww.

When Project Runway Returns Next Month, It'll Bring Along Two Local Designers

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Lifetime
Louise Black
Those who keep up with the educational journal Entertainment Weekly are well aware of the drama surrounding the sixth season of Project Runway -- mostly, how litigation between the Weinstein Co. (which produces the show and was taking the series to Lifetime) and NBC Universal (which owns Bravo and didn't want to see it head auf) threatened to bury the sixth season forever. All legal snits since resolved, the series returned August 20, and, finally, Lifetime has announced the contestants for this season, which wrapped taping, oh, 'bout five months back?

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Lifetime
Shirin Askari
As it happens, there are two locals among the 16 designers this season -- like I needed a reason to watch. Lifetime's offering up on its Web site everything from their audition videos to old baby pictures, should you need to know way too much about them. First up is 32-year-old clothing and accessory designer Louise Black, a (East?) Dallas resident who's been selling her stuff on Etsy for a little while, should you need a sneak peek. Then there's Shirin Askari, a 24-year-old recent college grad who, at least at the time of taping, was living with her folks in Richardson. Their home-visit videos follow after the jump, during which both share their love for all things antique. Sure hope they can make that work.

Project Runway's Tim Gunn Dishes Fashion Wisdom at the Galleria

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Patrick Michels
Fashion designer Tim Gunn -- of Project Runway super-fame -- has a new book out, and to honor the occasion he dropped by the Kate Spade New York shop in the Galleria last night. It was the man's second stop in Dallas in as many days, after his visit to NorthPark Center Wednesday.

A packed room of admirers sipped wine, noshed on free snacks and peppered the fashionisto with their deepest, direst wardrobe questions, like how to look hip and modern without giving in to the plunging necklines everyone's trying to sell these days? (Our answer: Dude. Try putting a real shirt over the wife-beater.)

Check out the scene from the Gunn show in our slideshow here.

Neimans Responds to the Now-Ubiquitous Rumor Concerning "More Layoffs Monday"

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In recent days -- at least, ever since this item ran -- I've gotten, oh, maybe 15 e-mails from so-called Neiman Marcus insiders claiming the company's close to collapse and, at the very least, preparing for yet another round of deep, painful layoffs. Someone posted such a comment to Unfair Park only yesterday in the item concerning Mark Shale's demise. Some bemoan the state of the Dallas retailing institution; others suffer from rather unattractive bouts of schadenfreude.

Regardless, last night I sent Neimans spokesperson Ginger Reeder an e-mail to ask about the missives and murmurs, which have become as ubiquitous as the myth surrounding the store's chocolate chip cookie recipe. She replied quite promptly:
I believe the repeated "more layoffs Monday" rumors are related to nervousness over the continuing internal business review (and possible subsequent reorganization) of different divisions that began several months before the downturn. Over the next few months, there will likely be some more layoffs or job eliminations related to this review -- but not on the same scale as in January and February. Every job loss is wrenching and regrettable, and we are hoping to keep them to a minimum.

Dallas Galleria Is Losing a Longtime Tenant as Mark Shale Goes into Bankruptcy

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The Dallas Mark Shale location, which will no longer exist come Sunday
At 6 p.m. on Sunday, the Dallas Galleria will have a vacancy: Mark Shale, which once spread over two floors of the mall till a recent redo, will be closing up shop altogether. This morning, its parent company -- the Al Baskin Company -- filed for Chapter 11 and announced the shuttering of a handful of locations, Dallas among them. Employees at the Galleria -- and there are about two dozen -- found out the store was closing only this morning.

An employee at the Galleria location told Unfair Park this evening that the shuttering "isn't surprising in this economy, because we could look at the numbers and see what was happening," but the closure comes as a blow nonetheless. There used to be two Dallas Mark Shale locations, but the once-popular Preston Center spot closed in the 1990s, the first time the clothing store filed for bankruptcy. Come this time next week there will be none, except in the company's hometown of Chicago. A clearance sale's under way at the Galleria, with 30 percent off everything. But drastic cuts are expected every day in advance of Sunday's finale.

As Neiman Marcus Struggles, Former Employee Rawlins Gilliland is Still Minding the Store

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Yesterday, in the comments to the item about Neiman Marcus's latest bit of bad news, noted man of letters Rawlins Gilliland deposited a comment intended to gently shoosh those experiencing even the slightest twinge of schadenfreude at the luxury retailer's misfortune. I had intended only to highlight the essay-in-miniature in a separate item for the Friends of Unfair Park who missed it.

But Rawlins and I exchanged a few e-mails late yesterday -- during which he wrote about working for Neimans for almost 18 years, up until 1999. Indeed, upon the store's 100th anniversary in September 2007, Rawlins wrote this love letter for The Dallas Morning News; it began, "Dallas owes its soul to Neiman Marcus."

So what you'll find after the jump is a hybrid -- an introduction offering context for the comments he made yesterday, along with his original note concerning Karen Katz, Neiman Marcus's chief executive of stores, and the role the store has played as "a huge contributor to all things charitable," among many other things. Got it? Swell. Then jump.

OK, So Maybe Luxury Is Dead

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Flickr photo: Wednesday181
Christmas was not kind to Neimans. Neither were the months before and after.
In light of Neiman Marcus reporting a quarterly net loss of $509.2 million this morning, The Wall Street Journal takes a look at how the high-end Dallas-based retailer is attempting to survive what remains of the economy -- besides laying off employees, reducing its inventory and writing down the value of its assets.
Karen W. Katz, Neiman Marcus chief executive of stores, said in an interview Monday that the chain has recently changed its marketing approach, to increase direct mailings to its customers, and to offer shoppers "different kinds of incentives to come into the store."

Last week, for instance, it offered $500 gift card for those who brought into the store their gently worn suits for donation to charity. It also sent some of its regular customers a $50 "perk" card to use toward alterations, and offered $200 off designer handbags priced at $750 or more, in a promo that begins March 20.
For those digging for deals, this reminder: Neimans' Web site allows you to search items based upon the percentage of discount being offered. Right now, it starts at 60 percent off. As always, keep in mind the words of Neimans CEO and president, Burt Tansky: "Luxury is not dead."

Everything Must Go: Billy Reid Corporate Leaving Deep Ellum for Alabama

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The New York Times just posted a piece on designer Billy Reid, who peddles his "dressy-casual whiskey-soaked style" in NorthPark Center, one of only six outlets in the U.S. Which reminds dressy-casual, whiskey-soaked me: Over the weekend I received via postcard a reminder that tomorrow through Saturday is Billy Reid's Best of Dallas-winning semi-annual clearance sale at its Canton Street corporate office. Note to bossmens: Will be late in the morning. "Blogging," ahem.

Alas, this sad note: This will be the final warehouse sale in Dallas. Reid, who studied fashion design and mechandising at the Art Institute of Dallas, is relocating his corporate offices from Deep Ellum to Reid's home base of Florence, Alabama. Which sucks.

TLC's Looking for Local Fashion Disasters, and MTV's Sending a Dallas "Gutter-Mouthed Girl" to UK Finishing School

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Todd Selby/MTV
Lillian, the Dallas girl being shipped off to England courtesy MTV
Two makeover items for those in need of refreshing. First, we received word that TLC's What Not to Wear will be casting here in the near future. So, Friends of Unfair Park, that of course means a rare chance for you or your favorite frenemy to be utterly humiliated in exchange for $5,000 in new duds and a trip to New York. And don't worry, there are no stereotypes involved -- just check out the e-mail being sent around to local film folk. It's after the jump. Delightful.

Also, this just in from MTV: On February 9, the worst network in the world will debut The Girls of Hedsor Hall, an Americanization of the UK reality show Ladette to Lady in which "12 of the rowdiest, most foul-mouthed women in America" are shipped off to England to become "proper young ladies." (You stay classy, producer Donald Trump.) And, of course, there's a Dallasite in the mix, Lillian, described in the media release thusly:
She's a college grad from Dallas with her eye on a Masters degree in psychology, but you'd never know it. Lillian is a wild, gutter-mouthed girl who parties five nights a week and doesn't think twice about hitting on another woman's man at a nightclub. She hopes that winning this show will be the kickstart she needs to get back in school and on the right track.
If Lillian is naughty and idle, she shall sleep in the back kitchen amongst the black beetles, and be walloped by Mrs. Pearce with a broom stick.

Tracy Feith Was "Now" Long Before Dressing Michelle Obama and Target Shoppers

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Courtesy Jeff Liles
Decadent Dub Team in Oklahoma City in 1993, from left: Jeff Liles, Tracy Feith and DJ EZ Eddie D. Says Jeff, "Check out Tracy's belt buckle, beeper and coonskin hat."
Jeff Liles, whose can't-miss trip down Amnesia Lane this week features a visit with the Red Hot Chili Peppers at the Theatre Gallery in 1985, has had another flashback, this time concerning a former Decadent Dub Team-mate. And it's quite the fashionable flashback, as Jeff sends word this evening that the "oriental-print scoop-neck dress" First Lady Michelle Obama wore to Wednesday morning's prayer service was designed by Tracy Feith, who left Dallas for New York some 15 years ago -- after first learning the shmata biz in Stemmons Freeway garment factories, running his own design shop in Oak Cliff and sharing the stage with DDT, as evidenced by the photo above.

Speaking of having some Feith, it's worth mentioning that come May, the University of North Texas dropout, skater and surfer will have his own line of affordable togs in, of all places, Target. Says New York magazine, "Expect about 60 sun- and surf-inspired styles and fifteen original prints." It was nine long years ago that we ran a cover story about Feith in the paper version of Unfair Park, where even his biggest fans and buyers had questions about his longevity, as in, "He's now, but now moves, and you have to move with it." And so he has, right into the White House closets.

Neiman Marcus CEO: "Luxury is Not Dead"

NeimanMarcus100 shindig Swanky.jpgOn Thursday, Neiman Marcus revealed that it had suffered a miserable Christmas, posting a 30-percent drop in revenue compared to December 2007 sales figures. Which is among the reasons Neimans yesterday began laying off 374 employees, about 100 of those in Dallas. As far as Neimans president and CEO Burt Tansky, pictured here with Hilary Swank, is concerned, sure, what remains of the economy has something to do with slow sales, which he insists will pick up eventually since "luxury is not dead." But he told an audience yesterday that the high price of luxury goods isn't the sole reason for plunging profits.
Tansky, known for loving the rich, was clearly frustrated at their lack of spending, even though he acknowledged the "rich aren't so rich anymore." He even blamed the media for writing about how and where consumers can find bargains, as well as husbands.

"Husbands used to say, 'Enough.' Now they say, 'Don't even think about it,' " Tanksy told the attendees.

Neimans Had a Lousy Christmas

Flickr photo: Wednesday181

It was but a month ago that Neiman Marcus president and CEO Burt Tansky insisted that sooner than later, the "aspirational shopper" and "loyal customer" would once again stroll through the store's doors with money to burn. At the time, the Dallas-based high-end retailer was reporting an 84-percent plunge in first-quarter FY2009 profits. And in its filings with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the company was significantly more pragmatic than its optimistic boss: "We expect retail demand and revenues will remain weak for an extended period of time."

And so it is written in a morning press release, in which Neimans notes that it did not have an especially jolly Christmas. In December 2007, the company posted some $723 million in sales; a year later, that number was down to $524 million, for a drop of 27.5 percent. Says the release, "The Company experienced weakness across all geographies and merchandise categories in the Specialty Retail Stores segment," which includes Neimans and Bergdorf Goodman. Perhaps not coincidentally, an enormous half-off online-only sale begins today. --Robert Wilonsky

From Highland Park Village, Window Shopping a Fashionable Depression

scoopnyc.jpgOn Friday, the very fashionable Nathan Branch posted to his blog several photos snapped during a Christmas Day walk through Highland Park Village. Branch, who kindly allowed Unfair Park to run the picture above, took note of the deep discounts being offered in almost every newly polished window and wondered whether "this kind of discounting and widespread sale-mongering isn't going to leave a permanent impression on consumers. Once you realize that retailers will mark their merchandise down 60%-75% to sell it, then why in the world would anyone in his/her right mind purchase it at full price ever again?" Hence, the price-tag waiting game that these experts fear could kill off "73,000 stores in the first half of 2009," including this chain, according to this unhappy new year's tale. --Robert Wilonsky

One Thing Tony Romo Can't Fumble Away: The Top-Selling Sports Jersey

romo3clouds_.jpgForbes this morning guesstimates that some half a million Tony Romo jerseys have been sold this year, would would make the Cowboys QB's No. 9 the top-selling top of 2008, even when you factor in baseball, basketball and that other sport that involves some kind of frozen liquid and a circle made of vulcanized rubber. Also on the Top 10 list of jerseys sold this year: Marion Barber (at N0. 8, with some 100,000 sold) and Terrell Owens, who brings up the rear at 75,000. Still, one must wonder if Jason Witten is jealous. --Robert Wilonsky

Neimans, Despite Slump, Believes In the Healing Power of Rich Women

nm_home_logo.gifFor a look at how the economy's affecting the affluent -- or, at the very least, rich women who don't mind overspending on clothes and accessories -- look no further than Dallas-based Neiman Marcus, which yesterday turned in its FY 2009 first-quarter numbers and reported an 84-percent plunge in net profit. Says the company in its report filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission: "We expect retail demand and revenues will remain weak for an extended period of time. Based on our inventory levels, we expect higher markdowns compared to the prior year will be required to reduce Fall season merchandise resulting in lower gross margins in the second quarter of fiscal year 2009." Which means, of course: Sale!

LFT Has Left the Building

This just in from the so-called Lifestyle Fashion Terminal down in Victory Park concerning its immediate demise, courtesy something formerly called "the economy":

As of Friday, November 21, LFT will begin the liquidation process of the store in Victory Park. “Due primarily to the current state of the economy and a yet to mature trade area, we have reluctantly decided to close our doors,” [says] LFT owner, Ort Varona. LFT, as it is now known, cannot sustain the high level quality product we provide along with the personalized customer service that our loyal patrons have come to know. We are deeply saddened to see the doors close after a successful 20 month run. We would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who made this store a great success.

“We are fortunate to have had the opportunity to serve Dallas and will continue to support any effort to create a better community,” [says] Ort Varona.


Its outta-business sale hours will be 11 a.m. till 8 p.m. Monday through Saturday and 1 p.m. till 6 p.m. Sundays till everything's gone. In the short term, it's good news for label-conscious consumers craving something by James Perse or Cynthia Vincent, especially at this (formerly) most wonderful time of the year, but this is big, bad news -- because LFT's demise means Victory Park's soon to be stuck with 30,000 square feet of empty. --Robert Wilonsky

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