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​No doubt you were too busy to attend last night's Super Bowl shindigs. So once more into the breach -- or WireImage, which has invites to all the best parties. Like, once more, the private Audi Forum dinner party at the Rachofsky House, where Glee's Matthew Morrison found himself amongst Tony Romo, Chace and Candice Crawford (one of whom is marrying the Cowboys QB), the ubiquitous Cee-Lo, Lea Michelle and Erin Andrews among others.

We've got our own slide shows from last night's myriad parties, but on the other side, a few more photos from other shindigs and shenanigans -- including Olivia Munn's late-night shot at our city, Sarah Shahi, Cameron Diaz and A-Rod, Spike Lee, Mark Salling and ... hey, there's Rafael Palmeiro!More >>

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Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and noted comedy genius Justin Timberlake at the Rachofsky House

​Woke up this morning to find some last-night souvenirs in the in-box -- some, from the Audi Forum at the Rachofsky House on Preston and Northwest Highway, which the car-maker's taken over for the weekend. Looks like quite the guest list: Justin Timberlake, Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Hugh Jackman, Matthew Morrison, Nick Jonas, Cam Newton and Tony Romo. Oh -- and Howard and Cindy Rachofsky. Much more successful than, say, this.

David Keith, star of the long-running Lone Star, with Pam Anderson at the F.I.G.

​There were other shiny diversions as well -- the Pam Anderson-Willis & Woy Sports Group Dallas SuperBash 2011 at the Fashion Industry Gallery (our slide show here); the PepsiCo Super Bowl Weekend Kickoff Party at the Wyly Theater (in case you wondered whatever became of Lenny Kravitz); a GQ, Cadillac, Lacoste and Patron party at the Hickory Street Annex (attended by Cee-Lo, Pearl Harbor director Michael Bay, Adrian Grenier and the great Brian Baumgartner); a Super Bowl Gospel Celebration 2011 at the Music Hall at Fair Park (emceed by Jesse Jackson); and the Black Eyed Peas party at the Music Hall at Fair Park (where you could find both Oscar-winning Adrien Brody and the apparently omnipresent The Situation).

Erykah Badu was at the Grey Goose lounge in the Design District -- though before or after the Prince debacle, I do not know.

We had folks out and about last night -- so ... lucky? But I culled through the stack of WireImage images and put together a look-back at what you missed. Or didn't. It's like a free issue of People or Alan Peppard's column, without all the unnecessary words.More >>

​John Mayer clearly had too much Lagavulin whilst talking to Playboy; hence, the daylong deluge of news stories about his interview with the magazine, which appears in the March issue and is now available online. While the media wrings its hands over Mayer's more racially charged comments, we will instead drill down into his assessment of former girlfriend Jessica Simpson.

PLAYBOY: In 2006 you began dating Jessica Simpson, and the paparazzi started stalking you, turning you into a tabloid fixture. Certainly you knew that was going to happen.

MAYER: It wasn't as direct as me saying "I now make the choice to bring the paparazzi into my life." I really said, "I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson." That was stronger than my desire to stay out of the paparazzi's eye. That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.

PLAYBOY: You were addicted to Jessica Simpson?

MAYER: Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.

​There are probably a million more important things with which to begin the work week -- like, oh, a passel of Hicks Sports Group creditors asking the National Hockey League whether the beleaguered owner of the Texas Rangers has dough enough to keep the Dallas Stars -- but this breaking, um, news? ABC just announced the cast for the forthcoming season of Dancing With the Stars, and, as usual, it's 16 different shades of what-the-what. But for our purposes, these two highlights: former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver turned ESPN Radio host Michael Irvin, who's clearly been seething ever since Emmitt Smith took home the title in '06, and former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, your other favorite Texas "Hammer." Now, I've got to get back to writing about a dying shopping mall and a foreclosed-upon city-owned skating rink.

Remember that Tony Romo Funny or Die video last week? Didn't think so. Now, via a very thoughtful New York City publicist, we have the outtakes -- which are slightly more amusing than the real thing. Look, I said slightly. What do you expect for free?

Update: Since the audio crapped out on the YouTube feed, here's a direct link to the outtakes.

Patrick Michels

Apparently, Tony Romo will have to save his oh-face for somebody else, if you believe People. And who doesn't?

Thanks to the surprisingly large number of Friends of Unfair Park who've forwarded along this People story concerning Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson's apparent break-up, which, the mag reports, happened on Thursday -- the night before Jess turned 29. So, who says they're busted up? "A source close to the pop star," who insists Simpson's "heartbroken" but that, look, they're busy and it's more or less mutual ... so there. And by busy, they mean this: "The Dallas Cowboys quarterback fueled breakup rumors when he showed up with about 14 friends at the Hollywood hotspot MyHouse on Friday night without the birthday girl."

Course, Alan Peppard had 'em busted up in May 2008. So there's that. But true or not, we'll always have that Metal Skool performance. And Mexico. And that Eminem video. But will you remember where you were when you heard about the end of Romessica? I think now's a good time to read way too much into Jessica's most recent tweet: "Falling asleep with my mom and the dogs. Please lord give all of my beautiful fans, friends, enemies, and family rest. Bring all of us peace." Sniff.

We'll return to weightier issues in a moment -- ba-dum-dum -- but, for a moment, this respite from hotel talk and DISD chatter. Vanity Fair's been gracious enough to post the entirety of its Jessica Simpson June cover story, due to his stands shortly. It's quite the breathless read that touches on points high and low -- everything from the state of her singing and movie careers to her romance with a certain Dallas Cowboys quarterback, who was also interviewed for the piece and yet again addresses a certain pre-playoff game trip to Mexico. An excerpt for those who will say they won't read the whole thing but probably already have:

"Jessica Simpson has hovered over this city like a dark cloud," Gary Cartwright, a writer at Texas Monthly, told me. "The great quarterbacks are 100 percent dedicated to the game. But Romo seems happy-go-lucky. If they win, he seems happy. If they lose, he seems happy. And all this is tied up with Jessica Simpson."

"You know, it's very hard when you lose," Romo said, "because games are important, and so many people put so much time and effort in. It's nice to have someone to come home to and try and make you feel better."

Eminem's new video for "We Made You" went viral this morning. That's a blurry screen grab above. Tony Romo probably thinks it's awesome, except maybe that part where he's throwing Jessica Simpson a hamburger touchdown toward the end. I except the video should be on DC9 any moment now.

A Friend of Unfair Park who wonders where all the Jessica Simpson-Tony Romo talk's done gone to passes along a link to Joe Simpson's Twitter page, which he used earlier this week to refute a National Enquirer story that claims he's been trying to bust up the Dallas Cowboys QB's romance with his little girl. Wrote Papa Joe, "So tired of people saying I don't like jess and tony... He is the best... Don't believe the national enquirer!!!" Frankly, I find this update significantly more scintillating: "Eating another salad." Though I'm guessing it's some kind of euphemism.

Gawker has "Jessica Simpson's Forbidden Workout Video," for those so interested. And it comes with a commentary track courtesy Mrs. Romo's business manager -- allegedly. Seems awfully, ah, erm, coincidental that this four-year-old vid leaks today; Ashlee will not be happy. You, on the other hand? Dunno. Still, better late than never, as the promo promises that "ultimately, this will educate future generations in our country." The future is now!