Is the Dallas Tavern Guild Trying to Straightwash the City's Gay Pride Celebration?

Categories: Dish

Last year, the owners of several gay bars along Cedar Springs Avenue joined forces to create a more "family friendly" parade. In addition to adding a "Family PRIDE Zone" to Lee Park, where kids could safely avoid drunk people and get their faces painted, the Dallas Tavern Guild announced that they would impose a new dress code parade participants - no one was allowed to wear underwear on a parade float, "overexposed" female breasts with pasties on the nipples were no longer allowed, even though both had been okay at previous Alan Ross Texas Freedom Parades.

The decision ruffled feathers, most notably former Dallas Voice editor John Wright. Wright alleged that the Voice fired him for bringing negative publicity to the ban on displays of sexuality, which publisher Lee Cuisimano (also heavily involved in the parade) vehemently denied. Despite the outrage, the rules stood -- no naked breasts, no visible penises, and no exposed asses.

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Dallas State Rep. Jason Villalba Makes a Play for Sriracha

Categories: Dish, Legislature

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Jason Villalba's egg sandwich just wouldn't be the same without Sriracha.
When Denton City Councilman Kevin Roden first made his pitch to bring Sriracha to North Texas last October, it seemed like an impossible long shot. What chance did a lone municipal official, bearing no tax breaks or economic development incentives, have of convincing the manufacturer of the most delicious condiment on the planet to come to town?

But the momentum is building, people.

Less than two months after Huy Fong Foods was forced to shutter the Irwindale, California factory where it manufactures the spicy, Asian-style chile sauce with the instantly recognizable rooster label, luring the company has entered the realm of state politics.

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North Texas Man Who Stole Federal Government's Burritos Arrested After Four Months on the Run

Categories: Crime, Dish

Swift Benjamin
Breath easy, North Texas. Come out of your fallout shelters and panic rooms. Let your children play in the front yard. After four months on the run, federal authorities have captured documented menace-to-society Lonnie L. Jones and locked him up.

His crime? Stealing burritos.

Federal prosecutors prefer to describe it as "theft of government property under $1,000," a crime that carries up to a year behind bars, but in this case it's the same thing.

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Rick's Cabaret, the Texas-Based Strip Club Empire, Is Entering the Breastaurant Business

Categories: Biz, Dish

Since the first Rick's Cabaret opened three decades ago, the company has grown into a publicly traded strip club empire with more than two dozen locations nationwide. It prides itself on classiness, boasting on its corporate website that it was while dancing at Rick's Cabaret that Anna Nicole Smith met J. Howard Marshall, her billionaire husband, and that "many of our performers have become Penthouse Pets and Playboy Playmates."

Now, having fully penetrated the gentleman's club market, so to speak, the company has settled on another outlet for growth: breastaurants.

Rick's Cabaret International opened its first earlier this year on Stemmons Freeway in Dallas. Called "Bombshells," it has a World War II-era military theme, complete with artillery shells out front and servers wearing dog tags and camouflage daisy dukes. Their second, the Ricky Bobby Sports Saloon and Restaurant, opened a couple of months later on NE Loop 820 in Fort Worth. The name is inspired by, but in no way associated with, Talledega Nights. And Rick's announced today that it will be opening a second Bombshells just outside Houston.

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Carroll ISD is Quitting Federal School Lunch Program, Because Healthy Food is Gross

These children are clearly thrilled with their salads.
Even when the USDA rolled out the new, healthier, Michelle Obama-approved version of the National School Lunch Program last year, there were grumblings. Kids complained that the new menu, which includes generous helpings of fruits and vegetables while capping meat, carbohydrates, and overall caloric intake, has "ruined school lunches" and made viral YouTube video. Conservative pundits decried the expansion of the nanny state. The Washington Times declared the response a ""boycott."

The question now is whether such a well-coordinated collective protest has been able to sustain itself for an entire year, and if it has achieved its lofty goals. The Associated Press brought the answer yesterday: sort of.

The wire service reported that a number of school districts throughout the country are backing out of the revamped lunch plan because kids aren't eating the healthy food. They were more blunt in Harlan County, Kentucky, where a board member declared that the new menu "tastes like vomit." (The USDA responded yesterday in a blog post, saying that, actually, kids find the new meals quite delicious.)

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Mutts Cantina, Dallas' New Dog Park/Cafe, Inspires Predictable Backlash With Breed Ban

You can always tell when a dog owner has no kids. They always seems to have the spare time and disposable income to hang out at the dog park, buy organic kibble and artisan chew toys, and lounge with their pets on their favorite restaurant patio. These are the people who look exasperated parents in the eye, shake their head in commiseration, and say they know exactly what it's like.

This is the crowd that Mutts Cantina was dreamed up to appeal to. The Uptown eatery not only has food -- hard to be an eatery without that -- it also has a built-in dog park. Sure enough, canines and humans alike flocked there for the grand opening on Wednesday.

But the owners of Mutts Cantina seem to have slightly misread the childless, dog-loving demographic, since they put in place a rule that seemed specifically designed to piss them off:

The dog park does not allow the following breeds to enter: Chow, Presa Canario, Doberman, Malamute, husky, German shepherd, Rottweiler, pit bull or Shar Pei.
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The Ticket Served Fried Chicken at a Southern Dallas Barbershop for Juneteenth

Categories: Dish, Media

First of all, let's dispense with a very basic fact: everyone loves fried chicken. With the possible exception of vegetarians -- who, let's be honest, are just lying to themselves -- and some remote, yet-to-be-discovered hen worshipers in the highlands of Papua New Guinea, the fact that an individual enjoys poultry battered and cooked to crispy perfection in a vat of sizzling oil is basically like having 23 chromosomes or opposable thumbs.

But going out of one's way to point out that black people love fried chicken is not something that's typically done in polite society. While it may be true -- just as it's true for people of every other ethnicity ever -- it evokes uncomfortable scenes of black-faced minstrels prancing about Uncle Remus' plantation. And so when Sergio Garcia promises to serve Tiger Woods fried chicken, it doesn't go over terribly well.

That brings us to Juneteenth in Dallas where, to celebrate the anniversary of the belated emancipation of Texas' slaves 148 years ago, The Ticket's Bob and Dan Radio show broadcast live from to a black-owned southern Dallas barbershop. And served fried chicken. Then, given customer's presumably encyclopedic knowledge of the dish, asked them to guess where it came from. They called it the Juneteenth Tasting Challenge.

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Here's How Not to Rob a Doughnut Shop

Categories: Crime, Dish

It's 5:30 on a Wednesday morning, and you're broke. Maybe you're short on rent. Maybe you need some beer. Either way you need to get some cash. It's too early to rob a bank. They're all closed. So are jewelry stores. All-night convenience stores have too little cash at this time of day and too many cameras. So naturally you turn to the one place that can satisfy your twin desire for small amounts of cash and over-sugared, deep-fried pastry rings: the local doughnut shop.

It's a brilliant plan. Really, it is. But before you go declaring yourself as a criminal mastermind, it's worth keeping in mind some of the ways the plan can go horribly, humiliatingly wrong.

Take yesterday's attempted holdup of Golden Glazed Donuts on Garland Road just northeast of Peavy Road. According to Dallas police, a man in his late 20s, thin, white, and about 6-foot-2, walked up to the counter and ordered a pastry. The employee went to the back to warm it up -- police, unfortunately, don't specify whether this was a bear claw, kolache or something else -- then returned to take the customer's money. But the man didn't offer any cash, instead revealing a gun and demanding everything in the register.

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A Federal Prisoner is Suing Taco Bell for Stealing His Idea for the Doritos Locos Taco

You've no doubt spent the 14 months since Doritos Locos Tacos were introduced wondering how Taco Bell came up with the brilliant idea of turning the popular chips into popular taco shells. If you just assumed this was the work of a dedicated, and probably high, Yum Brands food scientist, Gary Cole is here to tell you that you're wrong.

To be accurate, Cole isn't here exactly. He's in the super-max prison in Florence, Colorado.

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Customer Claims a Dallas Red Lobster Served Him Beer Laced with Caustic Poison

Justin Grogg was in town from Panama City on a business trip when he and a colleague went out on the town to sample the local fare. They went to the Red Lobster at Stemmons and Northwest Highway, and Grogg ordered a Budweiser.

Grogg says it took only a second for him to realize that the burning sensation in his throat, esophagus and stomach was something more than the tingle of carbonation. He was rushed to the hospital, where he was treated for inflammation and ulceration of his esophagus and pharynx. The pain eventually subsided, but doctors told him his future would likely be plagued by infections, acid reflux and difficulty swallowing.

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