Dallas Weekend Weather: Enjoy Yourself Before The Sun Consumes Us All

Categories: Weather

crackedearth.jpg
Brandon Thibodeaux
All that will be left of Dallas by October

Yes. That was the entire period between icepocalypse and the fiery king of the heavens moving to within eight inches of the surface of Texas. Did you blink? Then I'm sorry, you missed the entire thing.

All of that patio weather, gone. Every chance you had to go outside without either falling over on some ice or breathing in the pure liquid fire of a Dallas summer, gone. From here on in until, ooh, October or so, it'll be pure misery every day. How's your air conditioning? Is it working well? I hope it's working well.

There is one saving grace, though. This weekend. Any plans you had for the entire summer should probably be compressed into the space of the next 48 hours. Did you plan a big family gathering by a lake? Move it forward. How about playing some sports? Combine all the sports into the small window of May 3-4. It is going to be blissful out there this weekend. As you know, I've never been wrong before, but just to make sure, because I value your readership, I turned to the only expert worth knowing about.

Will you just look at that? I like to consider 90 the very top window of bearable, so basically this is about as hot as it'll get while it's still comfortable to be outside. Midweek, as you can see, brings thunderstorms in near-90 degree weather, which I think is the worst of all possible worlds. Thanks Jesus.

YOUR WEEKEND WEATHER SUMMARY
Holy crap. It's your last chance to be outside for five months.


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52 comments
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

Here is my forecast for June, July and August


Hot, with continued hot until October.  Miserable starting in late June continuing until late August.  Chance of misery through to late September.  Moderate chance of cool sometime in November.  Moderate probability of a local news show frying an egg on a sidewalk.  High probability of a local newscast showing a dried up Lake Lavon.  High probability of ERCOT issuing at least one report of electric grid instability due to demand.


"It's hot out there you fool!  It's so hot you can do a little crotch pot cooking. Hot is fine if you are with a lady, but not in the jungle."  -- Roosevelty J. Roosevelt (as heard on on the Adrian Crone - Hour Show on your local AFR Network Station)

catmarie47
catmarie47

Yep, it's a comin'...  But, next week looks okay according to Pete :)

AdamsonScott
AdamsonScott

"I like to consider 90 the very top window of bearable,"

Then what in the heck are you doing here?  If you don't like the heat, get out.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

General Philip Henry Sheridan — 'If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell'

J_A_
J_A_

I think 85 is perfect

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

This is when I start my trips to Colorado and New Hampshire. 

Greg820
Greg820

Loving the Fateful Friday Forecasts

leftocenter
leftocenter

95 with a breeze can feel very pleasant...especially after a week of 110s :). 

if6were9
if6were9

When I was a little fucker, and complaining about the summer heat, this old fucker said "Dallas may be hot, but hell is hotter". From that day forth I was saved by the precious blood of Jesus, because I wouldn't want to spend an eternity in either place. 

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

Enjoy the heat bitches, I'm posting from the sunny beach of Cabo San Lucas. See y'all next week

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Friday weather whine  - just adapt

Some of us like the Texas summer  

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

I'll be at work, running the river.

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

ICE cold beer on a 100+ day is always a winner.

Greg820
Greg820

Alas, one last weekend to enjoy disc golf before the discs literally vaporize in the air of this incendiary furnace.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

You got out of Trees alive last night, you should survive the summer.

skeeterskier1
skeeterskier1

@AdamsonScott 

Another idiotic gem by Adamson Scott.

The 2nd dumbest comment made online (next to someone taking the time to comment; why is this news) is the foolish, "well if you don't like it, then just LEAVE!"

if6were9
if6were9

@AdamsonScott  Yeah, because it's just that easy to just go and pick up your whole life i.e. house, family, career.....and move. Gawd, y'all "just pack up your life and move" folks are dense!

if6were9
if6were9

@Sotiredofitall  Liking a Texas summer is referred to as Stockholm Syndrome in professional circles. 

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@holmantx

Works ok at 99 degrees and below too.

AdamsonScott
AdamsonScott

@skeeterskier1 @AdamsonScottWhy is it idiotic?  Are you bolted to the ground as well?

There's nothing more irritating than someone whining about how much they hate someplace, when it's so easy to pick up and go.  Don't like the climate?  Find a better one more to your liking.  Life is too short to sit and be miserable like some people here.

AdamsonScott
AdamsonScott

@if6were9 What - are you bolted to the ground or something?  Get some boxes, rent a truck, put the boxes in the truck, and go.  Rent an apartment on the other end, find a job.  Easy peasy.  I've done it at least a half-dozen times.  What's your problem - fear or inertia?

Ms.Anon-aNon
Ms.Anon-aNon

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz Do you ever grow tired of making a totally legit comment and having it trampled on to the 100th degree by TehRude?  I am a female cat lover and notice that while you are the only one here who uses her real name you seem to get bashed for every thought you have even as something as lame as the climate.  How do you deal?   

dingo
dingo

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz @Sotiredofitall  

"If I said that they'd tar and feather me and run me back to Brooklyn."

Sheridan was the military governor of Texas and Louisiana during reconstruction.   President Andrew Johnson declared that Sheridan was a tyrant and had him removed due to the severity of his administration.    


So they evidently ran Sheridan back to somewhere.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Myrna

That's odd, I've heard native Texans bitch about Texas weather lots, including this quote, and they've listened to me bitch likewise. Never had anyone react as you suggest. Given that you complain a lot about Texas people, specifically the large conservative-leaning bloc, bitching about the heat like everyone else seems pretty innocuous.

Still can't figure why someone who dislikes so much about Texas chooses to live there.

choderus
choderus

So is Panhandle Hell, but it's a dry heat.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Recommend moving - it gets hot every summer

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

@if6were9  Says the person who uses the phrase "between your cranium"?

Between his cranium and what?  Or did you mean within his cranium?

Please move to Oregon and raise the IQ's of both states.

if6were9
if6were9

@Sotiredofitall @if6were9  I do adapt but since this was a blog post concerning the weather, and how hot it's getting, I thought i'd add my two cents. Enjoy the heat. ;)

casiepierce
casiepierce

@Ms.Anon-aNon @Myrna.Minkoff-KatzI use my real name. Although I have not yet achieved the magical "Top Commenter" status on this blog, even though I have been commenting on it since the day it day it debuted, and I'm from Dallas and even though I am fairly well-known around here. I am not a Myrna fan.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

@TheRuddSki  

Texans complaining about the heat is natural.  After all, most of us were born here, so we really don't have near as much choice about it.  Like anyone else, we can leave as well; but why move to a lesser pasture?

My attitude about a transplant complaining about the weather is that you knew what you were getting into when you moved here, so why are you complaining.


Besides, I grew up in Texas in a house with out air conditioning.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Ms.Anon-aNon

Nice dress, pal.

Ms.Anon-aNon
Ms.Anon-aNon

@TheRuddSki Bingo is over so make your way back to your room there in your nursing facility.  While I respect the elderly, I don't respect you.  I sympathize with your Dementia, but that doesn't stop me from putting you in your place.

Ms.Anon-aNon
Ms.Anon-aNon

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz Do you mean lead them down the hall to Bingo?   I don't think they are accustomed to conversing with women outside their assisted living facility and that stirs them in some sort of attack mode directed at you. 


All in good fun, they can be cute and amusing at times.  And it is sweet of you to give them some time.   

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Myrna

Let's hope not.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

@Ms.Anon-aNon   Ruddski leads a herd of Myrna-bashing bullies who have little else to do with their lives.  It won't stop me from offering my opinion.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Ms.Anon-aNon

Myrna's comment was conjecture and assumption, my reply was based on actuality and experience which proved different to her assumptions. How is that "bashing"?

Now, perhaps Myrna would be attacked by a Texan if she dared utter that famous quote, but it never happened to me. In fact, I've had several Texans state that quote to me over the years. Texans really aren't as sensitive as some seem to believe.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Sotiredofitall

I noticed that in the years I lived in Texas, texans bitched about the weather as much as anyone else, and I was never once chastised for doing the same, and I'm a (gasp) Cali transplant

The notion that a Texans are sensitive to transplants complaining about the heat is just not supported in my experience. After all, texans don't create Texas weather.

Vermonters complain about 30 below, they didn't take offense when New Yorkers did it too.

Sucky weather is sucky weather, everyone complains about it everywhere.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

@TheRuddSki  I always reference this quote to encourage those that dislike Texas to move elsewhere or never move here in the first place.  


Bitching about the weather is pointless; 

leave your air-conditioned car/office/bunker and get acclimated.

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