Movoto's Irving Listicle Is All Sorts of Wrong

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Nicolas Henderson
Movoto, for those of you who don't get their unsolicited press releases in your inbox, is an online real estate brokerage that specializes, best we can tell, in mass producing generic listicles.

As a general rule, it's best to ignore these things and hope they go away, but we had to make an exception for the site's "21 Things You Need To Know About Irving Before You Move There" opus, if only because it was clearly written by someone who spent somewhere between 12 and 18 minutes Googling "Las Colinas."

We won't tackle all 21 items, though all are dumb in their own unique way, but allow us to correct some of Movoto's more pernicious misconceptions about Irving.

1. Irving Is Full Of Big Shots

The Irving area is home to quite the handful of Fortune 500 companies: Exxon Mobile, Nokia America, and the American headquarters of BlackBerry are just a few. Although this business side culminates in the high-rise center of Las Colinas, the fast-paced, big-city feel influences all the areas of Irving around it.

Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson lives outside Denton. Most Nokia and Blackberry executives probably do as well, though they might be hard to find given those two struggling companies' shrinking Irving workforce.

The "fast-paced, big-city feel" must be what explains all of Irving's fabled urban sophisticates.

See also: The Morning News Says the Best Neighborhood for "Urban Sophisticates" is Valley Ranch

3. Everyone in Irving Would Rather Paddle to Work

Thanks to the good people at places like SUP NTX (Stand Up Paddle, North Texas), and the copious amount of lakes and rivers snaking in and around the city, this niche hobby is quickly growing into a citywide obsession. Who needs four wheels when you have one paddle?

To answer the last question, basically everyone. According to the U.S. Census, 91.5 percent of Irving residents drive to work. Fewer than 2 percent walk or bike. Paddlers make up such a minuscule percentage of commuters that it doesn't even register.

Also, can you cite any evidence -- any at all -- that paddling is "quickly growing into a citywide obsession" or that there is a "copious amount of lakes and rivers snaking in and around the city"?

6. Irving Is Into Really Big Metaphors

The world famous Mustangs of Las Colinas sculpture, located in the center of Las Colinas in Irving -- besides being the largest equestrian sculpture in the world -- represents the very distinct Texan way of life.

OK, yeah it's also just a friggin' huge horse sculpture, if you're not into epic metaphors like the people of Irving.

You've probably never thought of those stampeding horses in Las Colinas as a metaphor for something bigger. That's because you're smart.

8. And That Means You Have An In To The Best Farmer's Market In The Country

It may not be in Irving, but it sure is a perk to living there: the Dallas Farmer's Market is any fresh produce fanatic's dream. Huge selections of various fruit, vegetables, meat, floral arrangements, and specialty foods, all separated into four huge sheds. Your grocery run can now officially double as your workout time.

All life has been strangled out of the Dallas Farmer's Market by years of misguided policy. The only "huge selections" of anything come from the produce dealers, who truck their factory farmed fruits and vegetables from not Texas. Also, why use the farmer's market trip as a workout when (until recently at least) you could drive down the middle of the sheds.

See also: Dallas' New Trinity Forest Golf Course Has Officially Stolen the Byron Nelson from Irving

11. You Might Spot Some Golf Superstars...

Specifically the HP Byron Nelson Championship, held each May at the Four Seasons Resort in Las Colinas. Silently cheering on the golfers may get you within close distance of past winners like Tiger Woods, Adam Scott, and Jason Dufner.

Tiger Woods hasn't played the Byron Nelson in years. To the extent that any other "golf superstars" can be said to exist, they tend to steer well clear of the tourney. Also, Dallas just snatched it away.

12. ... But The Real Showdown Is Between The Teenagers

Irving loves its high school sports, from football to baseball to hockey. Attend a game and be prepared to get your ears blown off by fervent fans screaming bloody murder. It's pretty awesome.

Has the author ever really attended a high school sporting event in Irving, or did he just watch Friday Night Lights?

20. A Drumming Legend Got Schooled Right Here

The decades old group ZZ Top are still going strong today, with concerts, new albums, and guest appearances in film and TV. Their drummer, Frank Beard (the one without a beard), grew up in nearby Frankston and attended high school at Irving High.

Why anyone, Irving-bound or no, would want this occupying space in their brain is a mystery. Also, citing ZZ Top as evidence of anything counts as an automatic disqualification of any argument ever.

The prosecution rests.

(h/t Avi Selk)

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.


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20 comments
T_S_
T_S_

No mention of Brian Bosworth?

sellhersuit
sellhersuit

You might want to actually take a tour of Irving before you rain sarcasm upon a city occupied by your readers. Like every city, Irving has its highlights and low points. I grew up in a low point, but that doesn't dampen my love for my hometown. We get a little excited about the cool stuff that we have because it's hard to compete with Dallas, Frisco, Plano, and Arlington.


"Also, can you cite any evidence -- any at all --..... that there is a "copious amount of lakes and rivers snaking in and around the city"?"


Two branches of the Trinity run through Irving and are fed by creeks running through neighborhoods, . There are many lakes and creeks in Valley Ranch and Las Colinas. Notable bodies of water are: Lake Carolyn in Las Colinas, the creek running past North Lake College towards the Four Seasons, a series of ponds in University Hills along Rochelle between Northgate and 114, the lake in Centennial Park, and Lake Vilbig in South Irving. I'm happy to give you a tour.


"Has the author ever really attended a high school sporting event in Irving, or did he just watch Friday Night Lights?"


Have you for that matter? Irving High School Tiger Football made it to the playoffs last year. As an alumni, I'm looking forward to the fall and return of Friday night football.


dickyvantastic
dickyvantastic

I know why I like Irving, and have lived here for most of my life,  I wouldn't trade my quiet neighborhood surrounded by parks, bike trails, walking trails and a good sense of community.  I'm happy here.  

bifftannen
bifftannen

Coming from someone who grew up in Irving, it is a shit hole.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

Odd they didn't mention that Irving had the foresight to dump their loser football team.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

I've never seen or heard about that wonderful fountain.   

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

The ZZ Top connection is probably the coolest thing you could say about Irving.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

They forgot to mention Glen Beck.

jmckee3
jmckee3

"being the largest equestrian sculpture in the world"


I've always been fascinated by the pride that the city takes in having what the claim to be the largest equestrian sculpture in the world. I've seen it proudly pointed out many times but is there any sort of official body that maintains an up to list on equestrian sculpture size? I assume not because I can't imagine anyone on earth caring. Maybe Irving should also go ahead and build the world's largest aardvark sculpture or really any other fauna that no one is competing with on size because no one cares enough to keep track of. 

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@sellhersuit".....it was clearly written by someone who spent somewhere between 12 and 18 minutes Googling "Las Colinas." ".

Perhaps this will help: That 18 minutes the Movoto contributor spent googling Las Colinas was 3 times more effort than Eric has put into any article he's ever contributed here.

Vinny-n-Dallas
Vinny-n-Dallas

@thechuckwilliams

Actually, as a new las colinas towhome owner, I find north of 114 the most boring part of Irving. It's strip centers, office complexes, look alike apartments and look alike homes. The area sandwiched between 183 and 114 is the most interesting to me.  It's such a mix of everything. You can go from typical working class single family neighborhood to beautiful upscale hoods and back again, just by crossing a street. It's aging apartments and townhomes, right next to newer apartments and new townhomes, older single family neighborhoods, right next to new ones. It's an incredible mix of incomes, races, religions all thrown together in very close proximity of each other. I see more diversity in this area than I ever did living in Dallas.  Plus it's not flat.  I was very surprised to see the hills here. Irving wasn't my first choice, but I took a chance and I'm very happy here. The people are friendly and it's safe and quiet. There are things I miss in Dallas, but downtown and uptown are a short drive...and now a train-ride away.

TheRuddSki
TheRuddSki topcommenter

@Myrna

That's ok, I never heard of ZZ Top.

dingo
dingo

@Lakewooder  

And High Class Slim was out in the sticks down Highway 6.

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