Someone Saw Sasquatch in Rockwall, and America's "A-Team of Bigfoot Hunters" Is On Its Way

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Attention Rockwall: We are receiving reports that Bigfoot is inside of you. According to the horrendous photoshop job photographic evidence above, he is currently perusing your quaint downtown.

DO NOT BE ALARMED. Renowned Sasquatch chaser and Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. founder Tom Biscardi is en route from California and is assembling what he calls his "A-Team of Bigfoot hunters" to track down the cryptozoological marvel.

This crack team includes:

Tom Biscardi, Team Leader

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C. Thomas Biscardi III, aka Tom Jr., aka TJ. Director of Field Operations. Director of Field Security. Live Capture Team Leader

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Rocky Slavens, Sharpshooter Extraordinaire

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Jim Snell, Field Response Team

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Jim Dawson, Documentarian

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Chico Martinez, Navy Seal/Survival Expert

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Bill Coffee, "Wants the World to Know Bigfoot Exists"

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Mr. T, ???

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So breathe easy, Rockwall. Your continued survival is assured.

Update: We've received additional information that Bigfoot -- the Rockwall creature? A close relative? -- was spotted last month at McCommas Bluff, right here in Dallas. The Facebook photo is tagged "Sasquatch," so you know it's legit.

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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21 comments
MissMacy
MissMacy

I have big feet and I live in Mesquite. Does this mean anything?

Harryreems
Harryreems

I saw him at the Harbor last night. He was loving on all the desperate cougars. Ahhh Yeaahh!

Harryreems
Harryreems

I saw him at the harbor loving on a bunch of desperate cougars.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

The Rockwall colony has some of the nicest of the Bigfoot people, who are actually kind and gentle folks.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

I'm pretty sure I saw him strolling into Trevino's last evening.

I should have warned him . . . 

xdarkridex
xdarkridex

Biscardi is a complete fraud.  Terrible person.  Y'all should talk to Lyle Blackburn of Ghoultown if you want to know bigfoot stuff.  Rock star -and- expert on sasquatch.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

I think E. Nicholson has finally found the subject matter match for his writing talents.

P1Gunter
P1Gunter

Well if Mr. T is there we should have sasquatch steaks by tonight.

monstruss
monstruss

If I recall correctly, Tom Biscardi is one of the few people that Coast to Coast AM's George Noory has explicitly called out for being full of shit and scamming people a few years back. 

ruddski
ruddski

He's headed for Vally Ranch. We're gonna do it baby!

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz  

Patently untrue.They are actually horribly selfish drivers and I've seen more than one with over 15 items in the express lane at Tom Thumb, yukking it up on their cell-phones while making the rest of us wait in line and listen to their banal Bigfoot chit-chat.

ozonelarryb
ozonelarryb

Congratulations on getting my double entendre. I will strike a medal for you forthwith.

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