Seriously, Texas: Buc-ee's Is Not a Legitimate Campaign Issue

Categories: Politics

DanPatrickBucees.jpeg
Dan Patrick for Texas
We're voting for the beaver.
In case you haven't been following one of the stupider developments of the primary election cycle -- and there have been plenty to choose from -- Buc-ee's is officially an issue in the race to become Texas' next lieutenant governor.

To recap: Buc-ee's is a chain of enormous roadside convenience supercenters, most famous for its absurdist billboards, extravagant whiz palaces and Beaver Nuggets. (These, for the record, contain negligible amounts of beaver but lots and lots of corn derivatives -- think Corn Pops, only puffier.) Over the weekend, Dan Patrick announced the endorsement of the chain's co-founders Arch "Beaver" Aplin and Don Wasek, and its eponymous beaver mascot, Buc-ee.

Wait -- it gets dumber. In a tweet that appears to have since been deleted, U.S. Congressman/rising Democratic star Joaquin Castro pledged an informal boycott of Buc-ee's:

See also:Terrell Is Taking Its New Buc-ee's Way Too Seriously

Buc-ee's the company quickly distanced itself from the Patrick endorsement, telling the Fort Worth Star-Telegram's Bud Kennedy that the founders were expressing their personal political views, not those of the company.

"We believe Beaver Nuggets and beef jerky taste good regardless of political affiliation," their attorney said, apparently with a straight face.

Now, just to bring the stupidity full circle, Patrick has turned the imbroglio into a campaign ad accusing the Castro brothers of "liberal bullying" and "attacking Texas businesses to further their hatred of all things conservative":

CastrosBucees.jpg

Last night, Patrick declared a "victory for small businesses in Texas" after the Castro brothers "cancelled their Buc-ee's boycott," which was never a boycott so much as a handful of tweets, and which wasn't so much "called off" as subtly backed away from on the grounds that Patrick made it sound like he had the endorsement of the convenience-store chain itself.

It doesn't have to be this way, Texas. Sure, there's probably something of a partisan divide on Buc-ee's, at least among those who fuel themselves with divisiveness, with lefties more inclined to dismiss it as the most decadent possible expression of America's soul-destroying car culture, and right-wingers extolling it as a roadside shrine to free enterprise.

But this really isn't something that has to divide us. Hipsters and rednecks alike can appreciate a giant novelty beaver.

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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28 comments
centuryhouse
centuryhouse

I think it's idiotic (at best) to start boycotting businesses because someone who owns or works for a company votes for or supports a candidate of a party you are opposed to. 

Do you have any idea how many Deep Ellum businesses I'd have to boycott, if I based my money spending on whether their owners or workers voted exactly as I do? 

This is America. You can choose to do something as stupid as boycotting a business over who a person in the company votes for, or even who the business officially 'likes'. You have every right to be foolish. But I wont be. 

I will reserve my boycotting efforts for those who officially, actively pursue a public policy of infringing on my rights or the rights of others. Tell me blacks / gays / gun-owners / Republicans / Democrats / immigrants, etc. can't come into your business? Then i will boycott you. Otherwise? This is America where we supposedly exercise tolerance of ideas and actions.

tgrauman
tgrauman

Sorry numbnuts, but DP is right on the money.

It IS typical libtard bullying of small business that demoturds are FAMOUS for. "Fear mongering" is the left's stock in trade. Being against illegal immigration is NOT being "anti-immigrant", morons.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

Every time I see Patrick's pudgy piehole I'm reminded of the creepy guy at the frat party walking around with 2 beers and offering one to whoever will take it.

Don't take it.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

They look like they're related.

It's the teeth, I think.

Threeboys
Threeboys

More of a Woody's in Centerville kind of guy myself.

mcdallas
mcdallas

Up next: the battle for Willie and Friends' General Store and Museum.

dingo
dingo

Who in their right mind thinks that South Texas Hispanics, immigrants, illegals, or whoever these guys were trying to reach with their tweets would ever consider boycotting Bucc-ee's and lose out on their one dollar 10 pound bags of ice?

duck01soup1
duck01soup1

This was fun but short lived. I can't wait to see the ads in which the candidates  Dewhurst and  Patrick sling Mud ..or just dust due to the drought at each other .

P1Gunter
P1Gunter

Well Dan Patrick and I agree on one thing, beef jerky is awesome on road trips.

raymbala
raymbala

I'm more concerned about Dan Patrick's Gynecomastia.

wcvemail
wcvemail

@mcdallas  
With marijuana legalization implications - try to run from THAT, politicians! 

ruddski
ruddski

@dingo

los castores son una amenaza, pero los latinos con cerveza caliente son muy peligrosos

ruddski
ruddski

@Myrna

Don't worry, fatties are the next target of the health brigades, costing America more than smokers, AND most of their addictive substances are non-taxable - at least smokers contribute. Fatties just bring cost to the collective.

But, here's the rub. Do you know which country has been targeted by the UN for being the most alarmingly obese? Guess who's going to be exempt from the upcoming health-care based regulations.

Complicated world, isn't it?

dingo
dingo

@ruddski  

That post was damn sure worth the visit over to BabelFish.

ruddski
ruddski

@mytopfan

Imitation is the highest form of flattery, but I'm wondering when, during your fixation on making it all about me, you and/or Myrna will accuse me of making it all about me.

BTW, you're not terribly far off about my son. You're very accurate about using search engines, and if you ever noticed, I complimented Michelle Obama's efforts to focus on fatties. Are you by chance a Fatty?

You may carry on now.

ruddski
ruddski

@RTGolden

Nauru is apparently the heavy hitter, but Mexico is the weightiest in our half of the globe.

Considering the percentage of Mexico's population that has immigrated here, legally or not, that helped keep our relative numbers closer.

Looks like 75% of Hispanics here are overweight, with 35% classified as obese.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3711842/

And moving here actually harms their health.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/19/health/the-health-toll-of-immigration.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Not a particularly healthy lot overall. Damn good thing we've arranged this health-care thing in the nick of time.

Just-Sharon
Just-Sharon

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz @ruddski Myrnaaaah.....MY son is the world's top rated Doctor of Multiple Diseases and he will fly all over the country in his own 777 healing poor people of every disease known to mankind.   Because of this I KNOW how to go to Google to get the most accurate information about the correlation between Mexican's, male breast, Dana Patrick and obesity. 

This information is NOT available to you because you are a libtard woman.   Speaking of idiotic women, how about that slutty Michelle Obama travelling the United States taking away all lard related products?  More proof she is a communist atheist who hates all white people.  I know this because my Mother (Theresa) had her French Fries snapped right out of her hand by that sleeveless broad while she was on a date with Lindsey Graham.


Please understand your place here.  If you have something to say about feminine products are furniture polish you are welcome to share.  Otherwise, please keep it down, the men are now talking. 


Ruddski rocks and he talks.  Listen, learn and be impressed.  

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@ruddski Actually, Mexico surpassed the US in percentage of adults who are obese, but Micronesia dwarfs Mexico's numbers.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

@ruddski  

Just in case (just for Myrna):

 A new report by the United Nations' Food and Agriculture Organization has found that Mexico has surpassed the United States as the world's fattest nation, with about 70 percent of its citizens being overweight or obese.

ruddski
ruddski

@Myrna

Ok, which nation is the fattest?

Hint: google "fattest nation"

Another hint: do your research *before* stating "facts".

ruddski
ruddski

@Myrna

Man-tits are usually a result of a weight problem.

Remember "Ask A Mexican", in the DO? He explained why Mexicans always swim in their clothes. Fat. Man-tits. Mexico is now officially the fattest nation, BTW.

When my son was a paramedic, almost all the drownings or near-drownings at Joe Pool lake he responded to were due to Mexicans swimming in their clothes, drunk or not.

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