Local Blogger Deeply Regrets Riding Bicycle Straight Into Patch of Wet Cement

ConcreteBicycle.jpg
I'm not going to say whether my bike ride this morning, straight into a patch of freshly laid concrete, was an intentional but poorly executed attempt to leave leave an indelible mark on University Park (think a child's sidewalk hand print, except with no hands and one ass), or whether it was purely an act of buffoonery, just another in a string of humiliating cycling fails. I'll leave it to you, dear reader, to decide.

It's not important. What is important is that I now realize that it was wrong. Because even though the gaggle of construction workers huddled around the nearby cement truck put on a brave face, going so far as to laugh and give an appreciative (or mocking?) whistle, it couldn't have been easy to see their morning's work ruined by some douche on a bike. To them, I say sorry.

See also: To The Guy Who Thought It Was Funny to Shoot Me With a Paintball Gun on the Santa Fe Trail: You're a Dick

I would also like to apologize to my co-workers, who are being forced to endure a guy whose pants and shoes are encased in concrete, and to the office cleaning crew, who will need a shop vac to suction up the debris I'm leaving behind. To the University Park taxpayers, who might have to shell out a couple of extra bucks to smooth over that giant divot I left on Boedeker Street at McFarlin, I would also like to extend my regrets.

I have no excuse, though I do have a small suggestion for construction workers seeking to protect their handiwork. Next time maybe try moving the "Road Closed" barricade directly in front of the street you're paving. Because cyclists can be really dumb.

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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30 comments
J_A_
J_A_

On a positive note, nice jeans! 

bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

I'm resisting the urge to forward this article to code enforcement so they can write you a big fat ticket for vandalizing a street.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

I thought the sidewalks in University Park were paved with gold?

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

If I kept falling off my bike I'd probably find another way to get around, or ask an 8 yr old to give me bike riding lessons.

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

I was hoping to read...."peddling away from masked paintball gunmen...

Oxtail
Oxtail

This is a concrete example of why I do not comment on blogs. I would hate to cement my reputation like this online.

ruddski
ruddski

At least they're not "Mom Jeans"

tdkisok
tdkisok

Saying "I'm sorry" is nice but I think the cool thing to do is tip or help the cleaning crew who is going a bitch of a time cleaning up your mess. 

bstewart1987
bstewart1987

So, your sorry that the city will shell out to money to fix it, why don't they just come after you for the money since you posted your exploits here?

ruddski
ruddski

Eric needs an editor even before he gets to work.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@J_A_  

LOL. Did acid-wash make a comeback while I wasn't looking?

Welcome back to 1986, Eric.

mcdallas
mcdallas

@Oxtail  And you have such a concrete reputation to protect.

monstruss
monstruss

@ruddski  what is with the conservative obsession with mom jeans? 

becoolerifyoudid
becoolerifyoudid

@tdkisok Perhaps it would be more appropriate if Eric stood before the crew as they shoot him paintball guns.

EricNicholson4
EricNicholson4 moderator

@tdkisok  You're kidding, right? Me doing construction work would be about as successful as me riding a bike through wet concrete.

EricNicholson4
EricNicholson4 moderator

@ruddski  I have one (i.e. a wife), but she refuses to ride on the handlebars.

tdkisok
tdkisok

@EricNicholson4


Jesus, you getting what I posted wrong is somehow fitting. You are an idiot Eric.

ruddski
ruddski

@Eric

We can see why.

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