Baseball Jesus Has Forsaken the Texas Rangers

Categories: Sports

Red Hot Chili Scheppers has moved to the starting rotation.

O Baseball Jesus, why hast thou forsaken us?

Just since yesterday, we have learned that Jurickson Profar will be out 10-12 weeks, Geovany Soto will be out 10-12 weeks and Yu Darvish, the projected Opening Day starter ... might not be available Opening Day.

What does all this mean? Per Jeff Wilson of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Jon Daniels himself said "it wouldn't be the end of the world if Darvish gets pushed back."

Well, Mr. Daniels, I'm afraid you're wrong. The world will literally end if Yu Darvish is not pitching for the Rangers on Opening Day. DO YOU WANT THAT BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS, MR. DANIELS? DO YOU?

OK, deep breaths. Sorry about that.

All these injury announcements in such a short time are indeed overwhelming. We've lost our starting catcher and second baseman for at least two and a half months, and our best pitcher may not be available out of the gate.

Combine that with Derek Holland being out for half the season due to apparently tripping over his dog and panic is certainly understandable. No team ever makes it through a season unscathed, but so many injuries to start the season sets a less-than-stellar tone.

On the bright side, the timing of future injuries is not determined by the timing of previous injuries. For all we know, all the guys previously mentioned could be healed up pretty soon and we won't have any more injuries to worry about. That's unlikely, of course. However, this is no time to throw away your season tickets* or declare the Rangers' playoff hopes dead.

The team should still have enough firepower to stay competitive in the AL West, especially with two of Oakland's top starters (Jarrod Parker and AJ Griffin) losing time to their own injuries. Plus, we get to be in the same division as the Astros, and play them 16 times, so we're already looking at a 16-0 record.

This team still has Shin-Soo Choo, Elvis Andrus, Adrian Beltre and Prince Fielder anchoring the top of the lineup, a (hopefully) healthy Matt Harrison in the rotation and solid bullpen even with the "loss" of Tanner Scheppers to a starting role. The Rangers may stumble a bit out of the gate, but there is still enough firepower to hold down the fort until the cavalry gallops back into Globe Life Ballpark. Don't fail us now, Baseball Jesus.

*Should you now wish to throw away those season tickets, I'll gladly take them off your hands in exchange for an autographed Chili's menu.

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TheRuddSki topcommenter

Well, when the Rangers ousted Jesus' dad, what the hell did you expect?


This thing is heading into the sh+tter fast.  Tweet Grubes, you still into the preggers? 

The Angels are better, the A's are still good, the Astro's are up and coming.................I don't think it's going to happen this year. I expect to be at the Ballpark with 10,000 folks mid July. Just sayin.


I support the majority of JD's moves over the years, but one thing that will always bother me is his reluctance to deal Profar when he could have been used to land a starter like Gio Gonzalez, James Shields, David Price or Chris Sale.

Profar likely has a long career ahead of him and certainly has the talent to make a few All-Star teams before he calls it quits, but top-tier starting pitchers are tough to develop and expensive in free agency. Plus, as I've said many times, I'll take a proven All-Star caliber player at the big league level in his prime over a top prospect 100 percent of the time. 

It's really hard to imagine Texas making it to the playoffs with the rotation as-is, and it's still gonna be a little shaky even when Holland comes back. And, sadly, none of the upcoming free agents (Shields, Scherzer, Lester, Masterson) are likely to be available at the trade deadline since they play for postseason contenders.

Unless Martin Perez transforms this year into Johan Santana circa mid-2000s, I think we're in for a disappointing season, Rangers fans.


Dallas Observer needs to quit panhandling journalism and asking for attention.  Get a job, Dallas Observer.

Always willing to lend a hand,

Your buddy,

Gordon Hilgers




The Rangers are in some deep shit. Their rotation is going to kill them. After Darvish, assuming that he stays healthy, what have they got? Holland, who aint exactly an ace, isn't coming back till the all-star break because of a KNEE injury. Harrison is a power pitcher coming off of a major back surgery that cant seem to get healthy. Perez is going to have to be strong every time out and Tanner is going to have to be the next CJ Wilson without the choking and general douchebaggery. It is shaping up to be an old school Rangers season in which they only win shoot-outs.

It will suck but they can handle being without Profar for a little while. And its not like Soto ever has or ever will put up Buster Posey numbers. It does, however, start getting pretty bad if stupid ass Elvis misses a bunch of games because he didn't bother throwing a baseball all winter.

JD really dropped the ball again. Last season he did nothing to replace Nap, Josh, and soon to be suspended Nelson's rbis except for giving Lance Berkman some beer money. So the Rangers miss the playoffs because they couldn't score. This year, he brings in a big bat and does nothing to help the glaring holes in the rotation. Its looking like another disappointing season and Wash will take the fall. (not that he is without some blame)

I hope Harrison and Holland can come back healthy. I hope Perez fulfills his potential. I hope Scheppers blows us all away. But its starting to look like as many things will have to go exactly right from this point on as have gone completely wrong in order for the Rangers to be a real post season threat this year.


I've thought the same thing. Fielder for Kins is nice and all, but that contract will be an albatross. I've got no idea why Profar wasn't shipped out. That trade chit was the best they had.

All that said the Dutch Oven fucked this entire thing up. If you have Yu, Holland, and Perez you can make due until Harry or Colbra get back. Now we are relying on Red Hot Chili Scheppers and Robbie Ross. And if we get to Tepesch Mode god save us all.



What, no crazy ass mutant poetry or a random diatribe about the man; oh Gordy, thou hath LOST thy step!

My Gordon Hilgers Impersonation:

You capitulate to your man, the divider of what you believe the scared sanctity of a rebel government, used to suppress the masses. I think it was Copernicus, or Camus or maybe it was that stark raven Ken Kesey, that said, "hold the flower, but behold the light". 

ps-I had vegetarian taco's for dinner...and beer.  Welcome to Oak Cliff. 


@JustSaying  Psh, you aren't giving Tommy Hanson and Joe Saunders any credit!

Seriously though, Soto isn't that good, but Arencibia is really, really bad. That could be a pretty bad loss.

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