Wylie H: "Stop Me Before I Comment Again!"

Categories: Schutze

wylieh2.JPG
He mocks me.
Yesterday I came in and found a fat suspicious-looking Fedex package waiting for me not on my desk with other mail but propped alone on my chair. Normally with potentially harmful mail, I leave it unopened and dispose of it safely in the trash can in the advertising department

But the mailing label on this one stopped me dead in my tracks. It said: "Origin ID: RBDA (214) 670-3738, Wylie H. Dallas, 1500 Marilla St., Room L4 D North, Dallas, TX 75201, United States US."

Wylie H! Curses!

I had no choice but to examine it. You know who Wylie H. is. He is my Moriarty, my nemesis, my worthy opponent. You may recall that I recently offered a reward of $100,000, which I said I had no intention of actually paying, to the first person who provides me with the true identity of the frequent blog commenter and obvious City Hall insider who goes by the nom de clavier, Wylie H.

See also: Help Me Out Commenter Wylie H., and I Swear I Won't Pay You $100,000

Inside the package I found a pristine copy of my own book, The Accommodation, published in 1986, along with a note written in words clipped from newspapers that said, "Jim, Hope you enjoy this book! Wylie H."

Inside the book was a yellow sticky note saying, "Property of Mr. Paul S. Besson," dated 5-18-87.

Also inside was a handwritten memo from Vicky Bowles, my literary agent's publicist back then, to someone named Janet, dated March 16, 1987, and a two-page press release about the book. I have reproduced all of these things below for your own sleuthing.

According to Amazon, copies of this book are now worth $60 to $260, which, frankly, I do not believe. I think what the Amazon listing really means is that there are half a dozen people out there somewhere in America who think copies of the book are worth $60 to $260, who probably also have rare New Coke cans they think are worth $1,000 apiece. But there you have it.

The only Paul S. Besson I can Google up is a member of the Illinois Labor Relations Panel who seems to have no history of having lived in Dallas. The phone number given for the sender on the Fedex label is the number for the city secretary.

The room address at City Hall is a little wrong. City Hall labels itself differently, so nothing is actually called "Room L4 D North," but there is a Room 4D North which houses the offices of the city's chief financial officer, Jeanne Chipperfield. Apparently at some point in the past it was the address for the city's Office of Fair Housing.

Some commenters have suggested that I am both Wylie H. and myself, but that I don't know it. And to that extent I agree. If it were true, I assume I would be the last to know.

My own theory on the weird Fedex package is that it points the needle even more accusingly toward one of my own favorite suspects, Robert Wilonsky at The Dallas Morning News, because Wilonksy is a known habitue of the kinds of establishments that might offer for sale musky copies of old instant rare books with people's old moldy stuff inside. Of course, if I'm right, I will owe myself $100,000, which I will not pay myself no matter how mad it makes me.

But I may be overlooking something obvious. If any of this offers any of you a better clue, please let me know. I know this much: Wylie H. will not go free forever. He will be apprehended. It's only a matter of time.

Fedex Package Received from Wylie H* by Schutze

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51 comments
bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

What I find weird about this is that, after all that stuff with the Unabomber, FedEx will still accept a package from an anonymous sender using a fake address, and then deliver it to the cubicle of a controversial news commentator.


PerryMoore
PerryMoore

The only way to find Wylie H is to stop trying to find him. Her.

GAA214
GAA214

The moral of the story is you should read Mr. Schutze's book.  

Daniel
Daniel

It's probably somebody on Philip Kingston's or Angela Hunt's staff. 

rwilonsky
rwilonsky

I'm just hurt my name has been spelled "Wilonksy" all day. Or is Robert Wilonksy really Wylie H. I'll go ask him.

Rumpunch1
Rumpunch1

It was shipped on Sunday from City Hall?

Rumpunch1
Rumpunch1

Why is the label dated tomorrow?

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

I didn't know you were a Dr.

MaxNoDifference
MaxNoDifference

His name is Kent Allard.  He sometimes doubles as one of the city's elite, a certain Lamont Cranston.  Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of the city?

A-nony-mouse
A-nony-mouse

At Dallas City Hall, the "L" prefix is used to indicate that the floor is below ground level. For example: L2 D North (or L2DN) is the Dallas Municipal Archives. Maybe John Slate (city archivist and occasional film and commercial actor) is actually Wylie H.?


As an aside, City Hall elevators only go down to L2, but there is a L3 (check out the video here: http://vimeo.com/77986873 ). Perhapse Wylie H. in a secret lair under city hall?

BigDave
BigDave

Wylie H is probably Schutze's son, Wilbur Jr. or Wilbur III or whatever his designation is. 

I'm guessing this is some sort of art project that the wackadoodles Schutze & Son are introducing to Dallas.





ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

Pull the IP addresses WylieH just commented

LeroyJenkem
LeroyJenkem

It can't be Wilonsky. Wylie H. doesn't go on endlessly about comic books or Star Trek.

Junebug
Junebug

$260 for a copy of that book? Jim, I'll sell you my copy for $130

Anon
Anon

Jim,

You sold 175 copies of that book???

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

The mystery gets even deeper.  Where is the 7th page Jim?  Is it behind the grassy knoll?

WylieH
WylieH

I never cease to be amazed by my own lack of self awareness.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Very Tyler Durden-esque.

Had any"lost-time" incidents, recently?

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

Man that guy's good!

Google the Fedex package number to see where it originated.  Whip out your Smartphone and scan the bar code.

Watson! Get in here! Forensic scientists use ultraviolet lights (black light) at crime scenes to find blood trails, urine, or semen.  Did you touch anything? Post two uniforms to cinch up the crime scene. We can catch the bastard, even if it is you, unbeknownst to you.

The verbiage "Room L4 D North" means something.  He (or you) is playing with you (or yourself). 

and this will be his (or your) downfall.

sniff p. 47, third paragraph.  What's in the whiff?

putt4do
putt4do

Hilarious! He is taunting you like a serial killer taunts a detective!  

WylieH
WylieH

That's huge pool of potential suspects--- how do we narrow it down?

1dailyreader
1dailyreader

@Rumpunch1  5:55 pm, shipment info sent to Fed Ex.  Arrived at Ft. Worth Fed Ex at 10:20 pm, Delivered at 1:27 Tuesday.  I believe you can put the ship date as whatever date you want and once the label is printed it's going to have that ship date on it.  Doesn't necessarily have to go out on the date you made the label.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

@Rumpunch1 This was sent from the future. There must be some important coded message in that book that will save the world from certain ruin.


Better make the best of the rest of today.

RobertStinson
RobertStinson

@ScottsMerkin Log files have already been analyzed by the D.O., pal. Or so I am told. Wylie's I.P. addresses alone are of limited value. Wylie's identity can be pinpointed with other information in the server log files and then by working backwards in the historical logs and using other self-identifying clues he hasn't meant to give up. I see that Wylie is not using Tor to cover tracks. Tsk, tsk.

Rumpunch1
Rumpunch1

@LeroyJenkem However, Wilonsky has been known to like vintage items for sale on the internet.  Not sure if a 1987 book counts.  If Wylie H. starts posting vintage photographs, then his cover is blown. 

leftocenter
leftocenter

I'll volunteer to serve as interlocutor between you an JimSx...but if you turn out to be Mrs.Sx, all bets are off.

Yobogoya
Yobogoya

@putt4do  that's a little grandiose. More like when Adam Sandler leaves a flaming bag of poop on an old guy's porch.

RobertStinson
RobertStinson

@WylieH (Digital forensics + online honeypot) / baiting the target.

Rumpunch1
Rumpunch1

@holmantx @Rumpunch1 Funny how the tracking shows shipped on the 22nd, but the label says 23rd.  Maybe is just a printing thing on the weekend.

joe.tone
joe.tone moderator

@RobertStinson @ScottsMerkin  No one here is smart enough to do any of this. When something breaks our IT guy tells us to unplug it, goes outside for a smoke and forgets to tell us to plug it back in, so we just go home earlier than usual.

WylieH
WylieH

It's beyond sloppy.... I hear that Jim, I mean Wylie, is starting to let his personal hygiene slip. Not good.

RobertStinson
RobertStinson

@gavin.cleaver @joe.tone@RobertStinson@ScottsMerkin Har har. You guys use Google Analytics to track Web site users. That, plus Excel and a little sleuthing will help you pinpoint Wylie. He's not covering his tracks well and he's getting a little bored, which means sloppy. Personally, I'd like him to keep his cover. 

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