The Dallas City Council Just Wasted an Hour Talking About a Hypothetical Strip-Club Billboard

Categories: City Hall

ComdomstoGoStopVegetableAbuse.jpeg
Too risque for LBJ.
Sometimes, the Dallas City Council does something important, say passing a budget or regulating natural gas drilling. More often, they spend ungodly amounts of time doing things like arguing about whether a single billboard should be allowed to advertise for condoms or strip clubs.

That happened today for a full hour. The Texas Department of Transportation, you see, is in the process of redoing the Stemmons-LBJ interchange, forcing Ralston Outdoor to move one of its billboard. The proposed site is a few blocks away, sort of close to a couple of office towers. The building owners don't want the billboard there, so they sent their lawyers the plead with the City Council.

"You're all familiar with the cucumber that we have up on Central Expressway advertising Condoms to Go," one of the attorneys said. "We don't need that in an office district."

Even more foreboding was a sign, owned and operated by Ralston a few blocks away, advertising Dallas Cabaret. A "material adverse effect on our land value" would be inevitable.

Such an outcome should be avoided, council members agreed. Luckily for them, it already had been, a fact that was first raised after 30 minutes of talk about cucumbers and "SOBs." According to the 25-year lease the company had signed with the landowner, Ralston was barred from advertising sexually oriented business.

But leases can be amended, and the city's definition of sexually oriented business doesn't include places like Condoms to Go. Clearly, this was a case that required mayoral leadership.

"Do you promise that you will not change the lease as long as you own the company?" Rawlings finally asked Ralston general manager Doug Ralston.

"There will be no change ever."

"You promise that?"

"I promise."

Confident that no allusion to human sexuality will appear over that particular stretch of LBJ Freeway, the council approved the billboard move. Now, maybe Ralston can try to woo back the client that most recently advertised there: Fuller's Jewelry.

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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17 comments
TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Jewlery or sex toys - I'm sensing a theme.

WatchingSouthDetroit
WatchingSouthDetroit

The condom sign would fit right in as in those office building, people are screwing each other and others are getting screwed - literally and otherwise - pretty much any day those offices are working.

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

I took a bus from Rio de Janeiro that went through Sao Paulo, the botox capital of the world.

their billboards beat the shit outa our billboards.

all a matter of taste I suppose. 

Threeboys
Threeboys

Condoms to go. As opposed to?

lolotehe
lolotehe

I can't think of anyone who needs a pickle more than an office district.

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

I wonder how an edgy, graphic anti-abortion billboard would fly if positioned outside a meat-market party bar in lower Greenville.

Mervis_Earl
Mervis_Earl

Did they finish it with a pinky swear????

dingo
dingo

Someone in the office towers opens the blinds on a day like today during a meeting and someone else hears a few smirks because of the billboard.


Nine months later a trial lawyer hits the jackpot because of 'insensitivity issues' alleged in a related sexual harassment lawsuit.

wilme2
wilme2

This discussion wasn't even the biggest waste of time at the council today... 

Not a good meeting.

ozonelarryb
ozonelarryb

All that along a highway named for a Mexican sex act.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

Does Fuller's sell nipple rings?

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@ruddski

won't fly, can't place a billboard there.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@dingo

"nine months later"?? at that point there would be the paternity lawsuit....

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

Care to address the greater issue?

Have you read of the reaction to the Wellsley statue?

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

He was at Reese Air Force Base in 78 for 8 months for pilot training.

Only used the house on the weekends.

Don't remember the statues.

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

@mavdog @ruddski  

An exiled Iranian prince bought a mansion on a main thoroughfare in Lubbock while he attended the local university.  The expansive front lawn had some white marble statues.  Greek types of various female gods.

He decided to spruce up the place.  Improve on the artwork from his point of view.

He commissioned some paintwork on the marble chicks.  Gave them aureolas and pubic hair.

As a matter of public safety the City rejected his point of view.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@ruddski

what is "the greater issue"? that the majority of people don't care to have other's push their opinions in their faces?

wellesley: art is difficult to judge. I wonder if there would be as much negative reaction if the statue was of a woman in her undies.

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