Oh Shit, Pete Delkus is Building an Ark
Tomorrow is the beginning of March, which means the winter that brought you such weather catastrophes as Ice Storm Cleon and ICE FORCE LEVEL TWO will be officially over, right? RIGHT? Sure, spring doesn't officially begin until March 20, but this is Texas. This is supposed to be the time of year when we've stopped whining about the cold and haven't yet begun bitching about the heat.
Leave it to WFAA weather deity Pete Delkus to crush your dreams of pleasant weather. He warned his Facebook followers this morning that an as-yet-unnamed winter storm will be sweeping into Dallas over the weekend:
You have got to be kidding me!!!! Sleet and freezing rain are possible again!!!
A cold front will blast through North Texas around noon on Sunday causing temps to PLUMMET (30-40 degrees in a few hours) and some freezing rain and sleet to fall.
Most of the precipitation will fall as rain but some may briefly mix with sleet, light freezing rain and freezing drizzle mid to late afternoon Sunday.
He followed with a satellite image of a frighteningly large storm bearing down mercilessly upon us.
This is the monster that will invade North Texas Sunday! Govern yourselves accordingly!! pic.twitter.com/Fths9o19cM— Pete Delkus (@wfaaweather) February 28, 2014
With that, Delkus abandoned his previous assessment -- "I don't see this causing too many problems if any at all," which, in retrospect, may have been a ploy to lull North Texas into a false sense of complacency thereby increasing the chances of his own survival -- and began preparing for doomsday:
@DallasZoo - i'll take care of the ark. you got the animals!??!— Pete Delkus (@wfaaweather) February 28, 2014
Already, Dallas is being pummeled by terrible puns.
@wfaaweather Yep. Elephants packing their trunks now.— The Dallas Zoo (@DallasZoo) February 28, 2014
God help us.
Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.