Nope, Johnny Manziel's Still Not Going to Be a Cowboy

Categories: Sports

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There's a formula -- there has to be -- that every sports columnist is taught during his or her days as a cub reporter that goes something like famous professional athlete + baseless speculation that he'll land on local sports team = diamond-encrusted gold!

That's OK. When properly executed and delivered in moderation, it can be cute. Fun even.

So it was at first when Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel declared for the NFL draft. Wouldn't it be wild if the most exciting player in college football became a Dallas Cowboy?

Yes, of course, but it's not going to happen. Because Manziel is widely expected to be a Top 5 pick, and the Cowboys won't get to choose until No. 16 or 17. Because they just paid Tony Romo $108 million. Because if Manziel does indeed have the makings of a successful NFL player, Jerry Jones wouldn't draft him.

Despite the mountain of evidence to the contrary, some are still peddling the idea that Manziel could wind up with a blue star on his helmet. Here's The Dallas Morning News on Friday quoting Manziel saying it would be a "folktale" to play for the Cowboys.

What he actually told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram was that "it would almost be a folktale in the correct direction," which isn't even a coherent thought.

"We'd have to call that Johnny something else," he added. "I don't know what it would be."

The NFL draft starts May 8, more than enough time to dream up a scenario in which a Manziel sex tape drops Manziel's draft stock to Cowboys territory.

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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18 comments
moore583
moore583

If Tony Romo is worth 108 million dollars then I'm really getting screwed over down at the office.

darrylrs
darrylrs

Like Tebow, Johnny doucheball will be a bust.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Does it really matter who the Cowboys draft?  Seems dysfunctional organization trumps player talent.

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

Maybe he'll come out.

Steve
Steve

Fuckin' Genius Article.

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

I'd rather have Sams.

He is more gracious, rounded out player.

ozonelarryb
ozonelarryb

Cowboys need Tebow and Sam. Then they would have make plays to get recognition above the hooplah.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu topcommenter

Jerry would first have to admit what he's putting together now ain't working. won't happen.

roo_ster
roo_ster

"The NFL draft starts May 8, more than enough time to dream up a scenario in which a Manziel sex tape drops Manziel's draft stock to Cowboys territory."

Only if he is filmed having sex with a *woman*.  If he is caught buggering a man, Dale Hansen will pen "An Ode to Grid Iron Buggery" in dactylic hexameter that will drive the hysterical sports-writing hacks into fits of ecstasy.  [In which case no NFL owner wants to touch him and Manziel goes on to play in the CFL.]

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@darrylrs  Unlike Tebow, NFL scouts actually think Manziel can throw a football and be useful in the NFL

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@alteredjustice @Sharon_Moreanus  tweeting out photos of him popping bottles with celebrities, him on the front row courtside of several different NBA teams, and tweeting pictures of thousands of dollars he had at the casino to name a few.  

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

@ScottsMerkin @alteredjustice @Sharon_Moreanus  You're right. I asked. I didn't ask for dumb answers.


What other public figure has been told he "isn't gracious" for sitting at a basketball game. I'll wait right here.


You know what's really, really not gracious? Jealousy.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@alteredjustice @ScottsMerkin @Sharon_Moreanus  no its not gracious.  When you are a public figure, these types of things get brought up.  It has nothing to do with his on field game, but you asked and I answered.  When you tweet photos of yourself with famous people, you are bragging, that is not gracious

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

@ScottsMerkin @alteredjustice @Sharon_Moreanus  Oh, so a rich kid going to an NBA game isn't "gracious." Gotcha. The casino thing is about the same. His family ain't poor, dude.


I can see how underaged drinking can be perceived in a certain light, but it's still nit-picking. It's college. College Station to be exact. Ever been there?


Sam seems like a good player, but I doubt she knows much about him since she spelled his name wrong. Not sure why the two would get compared, either.

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