Chuck Norris Just Endorsed Greg Abbott, So the Governor's Race is Over Now, Right?

Categories: Politics

ChuckNorrisTheDeltaForce1986.jpg
Remember that time last summer, back when her epic filibuster against sweeping abortion restrictions gripped the nation and roused Texas' long-slumbering Democratic Party, when it seemed like Wendy Davis had a shot of becoming governor?

Well, here's a flying roundhouse kick of reality, courtesy of Chuck Norris:

You're no doubt familiar with "Chuck Norris Facts." For example, did you know that ghosts sit around campfires telling Chuck Norris stories?

Now, I want to introduce you to a Greg Abbott Fact: Greg Abbott is Texas' best hope to fight the out-of-state attacks that aim to turn Texas blue.

That's right. Chuck Norris just endorsed Greg Abbott. That sound you hear is Wendy Davis and a herd of panicked liberals stampeding to Canada.

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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14 comments
MikeWestEast
MikeWestEast

If Chuck Norris wanted your opinion, he would beat it out of you.

bob776
bob776

This is great news...if your Wendy Davis....it seems that every candidate Chuck Norris endorses ends up losing...Huckabee (2008 Election), then Ron Paul, then Gingrich, and finally Romney (All in 2012 Election).


But this is Abbot's race to lose.

bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

Wherever the gun rights of felons, pedophiles and the mentally ill are at risk, Chuck Norris is there to stand up for them.

dingo
dingo

The governor's race was over even before some genius figured out that Mizuno Wendy needed the white suburban women vote in order to win.

ruddski
ruddski

Chuck Norris shot the coyote.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

Chuck Norris does not endorse candidates, he ordains them.


ruddski
ruddski

You've just been threatened, Texas.

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

Does this mean one would get a free Total Gym if they vote for Abbot?

dallasinthedrain
dallasinthedrain

@bob776 Trust me, Chuck got this one right! Wendy Davis is a political featherweight compared to Abbott.

ruddski
ruddski

There's something you just don't get about Chuck Norris jokes.

wcvemail
wcvemail

@Sharon_Moreanus  But no treadmill. And any pregnant women desiring to exercise must undergo a sonogram and counseling from a doctor.

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