Sean Hannity Might Move to Texas, and Governor Rick Perry is Wooing Him Hard

Categories: Media, Politics

HannityPerry.jpg
As far as we know, Texas Governor Rick Perry and conservative radio host Sean Hannity are still staunchly opposed to gay marriage. That said, it was impossible to glean that from the way they cooed over one another on Hannity's radio show this afternoon.

Hannity, you see, is planning to flee his native New York, taxes having cut too deep into his $35 million net worth. He's narrowed the list of suitors down to two states, Texas and Florida, which he's having vie for his affections.

Lieutenant Governor David Dewhurst is trying to woo Hannity the old-fashioned way, by writing a letter. ("Our state's economic vitality and conservative culture might be a little overwhelming at first after you've spent years dealing with New York's high taxes, oppressive regulations and liberal social values, but I'm certain you'll fit right in.")

Perry was much more forward, calling the radio show from Switzerland ("We had some great meetings today with businesses") to woo the host on air.

"You want to live somewhere where you're appreciated for what you do -- which is create a lot of wealth," Perry cooed. "The governor of New York certainly doesn't appreciate it."

Perry, by contrast, knows exactly how to treat a talk radio host. "Trust me, when you come to Texas you can get rid of that honorary Texan certificate [Perry apparently gave this to Hannity years ago] and just make yourself permanent."

Hannity couldn't hold back any longer. "Governor, I want you to know something: In my radio studio, I have that proclamation you gave me framed, and I look at it, and I see that proclamation every day that you signed, which I'm really proud of.

"You know what? Everybody I've ever met from Texas, I love. I think Texans are the coolest people. I would be humbled and honored if I could become a Texan."

For several minutes, they uttered sweet nothings about Texas' energy boom (Hannity declared himself a "big proponent of energy production"), its tumescent job growth, the evils of taxes and gun regulations.

Before it was time to bid adieu, Perry quoted a Lyle Lovett song: "That's right you're not from Texas/But Texas wants you anyway."

"I can't thank you and your lieutenant governor enough for your kind words and your invitation," he said. "I really, really appreciate feeling wanted."

Send your story tips to the author, Eric Nicholson.

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63 comments
sgt_purdyjd
sgt_purdyjd

Holy Crap this Ruddski cat is all about Florida. Three words.... Cost Of Living, two more for you, Housing Market, oh and Texas was on the top ten cities to live in 5 times. If I recall Florida didn’t even make the list once.

Yes the Weather is nice in Florida ....... and that is all.

Texas has money, a balanced budget, jobs, booming housing market, and the worlds greatest people. Not to mention when the walls come crumbling down in the US, Texas will still be standing tall because we are self sufficient.

rusknative
rusknative

Rick Scott from Florida, unlike smooth Perry, riddled his discussion with Sean with sales pitches and statistics and trying to convince Sean, rather than welcome Sean.  I don't care where or if he moves anywhere...but clearly Texans have a warmer, more attractive demeanor than anyone in Florida could ever muster....however, folks from Jersey and NEU YAWK all just move to Florida with the yiddisher crowd, or maybe North Carolina to mess up the scenery.  Sean is welcome here of course...heck we already got Glenn Beck and Rick Santorum....what could it hurt one more conservative....

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

Just so there is no money spent all I say is "come on down Sean". there's plenty of room for you here.

just make sure that Perry doesn't go into his piggy bank, the TX Enterprise Fund, to lay some money on his good pal Hannity. We've seen Perry's largess with his buddies and the TEF, giving out dollars at the taxpayers expense.

cjensen5
cjensen5

Assclown Hannity would be a good fit for Texas....all hair, no cattle.

ruddski
ruddski

Once again, a wealthy tax-paying, job-creating individual who can only improve any area he moves to is bemoaned by local socialistas because they loathe the politics.

Socialistas want to extend benefits to foreign nationals in return for political power, but they don't want people who can pay for it living near them, it's cultural pollution!

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

"For several minutes, they uttered sweet nothings about Texas' energy boom (Hannity declared himself a "big proponent of energy production"), its tumescent job growth, the evils of taxes and gun regulations."

I have never heard "tumescent" applied to job growth.

i did find this malapropism somewhat funny when you consider the meaning of tumescent:

 

  1. 1. swollen or becoming swollen, esp. as a response to sexual arousal.
  2. 2. (esp. of language or literary style) pompous or pretentious; tumid."his prose is tumescent, full of orotund language"

So which meaning do we apply to our "tumescent" job growth?

roo_ster
roo_ster

Wow, how original.  Gay jokes and insinuations of homosexuality from a left winger.  

Eric: Do you call the guy who sold you your car a fag, too?  How about the guy who sold you your last pair of shoes?  Because both of them were doing to you something similar to what Perry was doing to the Hannity fellow.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

My head hurts - 


Maybe when little Ricky is out of office he and Hannity can move into the Glen Beck compound?

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

I'm glad I haven't had breakfast yet, else I'd be scraping it off my keyboard.


fredgarvinmp713
fredgarvinmp713

Don't they know their marriage won't be recognized here?

hotdogthatshit
hotdogthatshit

maybe they could fly from NY to Texas together and the plane could crash, with the crew and rest of the passengers jumping to safety with parachutes, and we would be rid of 2 useless and worthless douches at once.

ruddski
ruddski

Hmmmm.... Texas or Florida. That has to be the easiest decision ever.

ruddski
ruddski

Sean comes to Sarasota now and then, speaks at the Wezel, I believe.

Sarasota alone is nicer than any square inch in Texas. Sean will do the logical thing.

rusknative
rusknative

@mavdogyeah...we need to lure Solendra and some electric car manufacturing businesses here.....

rusknative
rusknative

@ruddskiThey are mostly too old to masturbate with Playboy or bake mud pies in toy ovens...so they have to just bloviate and pontificate their insecurities and stress reliever messages

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@ruddski

what can you point to showing that Hannity is a "job-creating individual", above and beyond his own job? I'll give you a couple of others, his "go-fer" person (every big shot has a person like that, I'm sure he does), his driver probably, and of course his hair stylist. In fact looking at this photo there may be 2 hair stylist...beyond that?

it's not like his schtick actually creates anything that would need workers. after all hot air takes just one bigmouth such as him....

ruddski
ruddski

It looks like the theme of the post is implied homosexuality, and little Ricky has a hard-on for Sean or something.

Daniel
Daniel

@roo_ster The last feller who sold me a car yanked down m'breeches and commenced to untoward gropin'. Then he get all covered with green slime-so-nasty, so I guess he come to some kind of awful, shuddering climax.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

@roo_ster Disingenuous, you are.  He's just giving the two homophobes a taste of their own medicine.

ghkyluhhje
ghkyluhhje

@ruddski Ole Hannity dodged a bullet there. Did you see what I did there?

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@rusknative

you really should stop projecting yourself so much on this board...

ruddski
ruddski

@mavdog

Wealthy people spend money wherever they live or visit, Sean's property taxes alone will pay for the education of an future democrat voter, his lawn care expenses will pay for lots of cerveza. If, like Beck, he produces down here, that's even more moolah for Texas.

Were told that the legalization and subsequent importation of tens of millions of low-skilled, non-educated workers and non-workers are vital to our economy. Well, wealthy people help us pay for the lifetime benefits these vital immigrants will receive. That Sean upsets Texas liberals means absolutely nothing In the big picture.

rusknative
rusknative

@mavdog@ruddskiuh....aim before you fire buddy.  he has a huge research team digging and checking out his stories, and has a nationwide talkshow operation.  That doesn't get done by former middle eastern 7-11 clerks.

ruddski
ruddski

Too many video games.

ruddski
ruddski

@ghkyl

No, not really.

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

@ghkyluhhje @ruddski Hannity should stay out of Florida for the same reason I do.  Either of us might be the last nut God is waiting on to land there before he breaks it off into the ocean once and for all.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@ruddski

like I said, welcome Sean. there's plenty of space for him.

if Sean did establish residence in Texas, he would likely pay property taxes, which does educate the kids who, if voting stats are followed, will just as likely vote democrat as republican. as for "lawn care expenses", he may or may not live in a spread that requires lawn care. I could see Sean at the Ritz Carlton or Mansion condos more than anywhere...maybe he'll buy one of those condos in Museum Tower, there's plenty to choose from.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@rusknative

I've watched the Hannity show, and without a doubt they do NOT have "a huge research team digging and checking out his stories".

nice bigoted dig at 7-11 clearks BTW.

ruddski
ruddski

Rusk, this isn't old Florida, when you could retrieve bales in the morning tide. Weed here is expensive now.

ruddski
ruddski

West coast reminds me of the East coast back in the 60's. E coast now is just NYC South, and people act like it.

I miss the Gulf Stream though, maybe they can redirect it.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@ruddski Largo was enjoyable and quiet when I went there.  West was all party.The beach by Fort Walton was nice too but Grayton was so cool

ruddski
ruddski

The Keys are so packed with Yankees, you don't wanna go there. West Coast, Old Florida, best beaches & water in the US. Etc, etc....

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@ruddski eh, gimme the keys, the rest can float off to north korea

ruddski
ruddski

Florida is and always has been a paradise, young man.

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