Meet Lady Theresa Thombs, State Board of Education Candidate, Dame of Justice, Carrier of Diplomatic Papers

LadyTheresaThombs.jpg
via Facebook
We missed a fascinating SBOE campaign forum in Fort Worth Monday night. It didn't start when Tea Party candidate Eric Mahroum kicked off the evening with some fringe buzzwords like CSCOPE and Common Core, and an invocation of the former President Ronald Reagan's "are you better off?" speech. Nor did it begin with the introduction to sitting SBOE member Pat Hardy, who wore an incredible zebra sweater, but whose statements I fast-forwarded through with good reason.

It began when North Richland Hills' Lady Theresa Thombs, self-described Dame of Justice, "accomplished guest soloist, and "international evangelist," ambled up to the microphone. She wasted literally no time before she started lobbing bombs at her fellow candidates, accusing Hardy of being a "life-long Democrat," and Mahroum of being forced by the state attorney general to pay child support. Her bare-knuckle approach to politics earned her a smattering of boos. Thombs held up her hand for quiet and doubled down. "I have a Republican opponent who has children by two different mothers and owes child support."

Next, she accused him of fabricating his college degree, eliciting another round of jeers from an irritated audience. But the coup de grâce was this: "You know, his real experience in management is Chuck E. Cheese."

Mahroum would later insist toThe Fort Worth Star-Telegram that he is, in fact, a regional trainer for the novelty pizza chain.

Once she'd finished with her fellow candidates, she took aim, albeit briefly, at the subject that had ostensibly motivated her candidacy in the first place. History, she stated, should be written by "experts, not people from socialist higher education." As far as the sciences go, "We know we didn't come from monkeys!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," she began in summation. "They're using your tax dollars to brainwash our children into socialist issues and ideas and it is time for it to stop. Common Core and every single shred of CSCOPE has got to go."

That was about as substantive as she got in terms of policy. The rest of the time she rattled off her bonafides, which included being "co-chair of the Small Business Advisory Council that created the Bush tax cuts," "two National Congressional Committee merits of distinction," and some kind of Ronald Reagan award. If anyone finds any evidence of this beyond her LinkedIn page and campaign website, please let me know. I didn't.

The campaign website itself, which has since been revised, was a thing to behold. In it she pledges to fight "adgendas and ideoligies," and to "stem the tide of our best and brightest teachers leaving the classroom to pursue other carriers, because they can no longer live with the policies and mandates they no are harmful to their students."

A little cursory googling brought up this video from a "Fort Worth Religious Freedom" rally. The emcee introduced Lady Thombs as a person who has sung at two Olympics, one in Salt Lake City and the other in Greece; is an "international ambassador," a "Knight of Justice," of which, he informed the audience, there were "only 1,200" in the world. The distinction, he added, requires that she carry "diplomatic papers."

And with that, in a coat of glowing white, she mounted the stage and began with a spoken-word preamble about "enemies within" who "would extinguish the light of God's freedom if they could." Then she embarked on a trilly rendition of a song I've never heard, and suspect she made up on the spot, in which case, bravo! It contains lots of liberty, shining lamps of liberty, a little Lady Liberty beckoning, and God's face.


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30 comments
fasterthanilook
fasterthanilook

Good lord, it's Mrs. Homer Stokes.  Did she accuse anyone of "interfering with a lynch mob in the performance of its duties?"

abdmuhib
abdmuhib

Yes, stupid lady. We all know we didn't come from monkeys. We are apes. We are not trees. We are not bacteria. We are not tigers. We are apes. And we are not monkeys, who diverged from a common ancestor a long time ago, and no one has ever claimed we arose from. Half a brain will tell you that- the half of a brain that you supposedly have over other apes. 

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

Donkey Hotay is GOD!


So sayeth Donkey Hotay!



anitacox
anitacox

She's really a man in drag. Didn't you see 'Tootsie'?

RichardMorgan
RichardMorgan

This might be the most amazing article I've read about an SBOE race. In all seriousness, I know Eric Mahroum personally, and he is genuine and hard working. He would be a significant improvement over Patricia Hardy.

kenwms60
kenwms60

Tea Party candidate for for Texas Board of Education doesn't believe in evolution. She believes man was made from dust and women from his rib while he took a nap in the Garden of Eden.  Texas is full of IDIOTS!

patricia kayden
patricia kayden

Ms. Thombs sounds like a winner... if you're a Teabagger.

bmarvel
bmarvel topcommenter

With Dame Edna in retirement, Lady Theresa will be the best act around.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

I'd love to see her at the Golden Corral. 

I'll bet it's mesmerizing.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

I am a Fellow of the American Academy of Equal Justice.



Send me $5 and I will make you one as well.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

How do these people find their way out of the house in the morning?

dmiller19
dmiller19

I don't think she made the song up on the spot, since she had the music and background singers recorded.  Thanks for reminding us how important this State Board of Education race is.  Vote in the primary in two months. 

EdD.
EdD.

And this is why it's so important that informed (or at least "not insane") people vote. Don't be too busy because the people that eat her act up with a spoon will find the time to vote.

MaxNoDifference
MaxNoDifference

I wouldn't say it was a bare knuckles approach. It was rather more like a brass knuckles approach.  I am guessing that she believes that a good offense is a good defense.  I hope the opposition understands that dealing with her will be like mud wrestling a pig.  You get all dirty and the pig loves it.

matt.helm75
matt.helm75

I love how the worst thing she could say about one candidate was that he was a lifelong Democrat!  Oh the horror!

ozonelarryb
ozonelarryb

Again, ask her if she takes medicine, or wears synthetic fibers... all products of evil science.

Freaking nut jobs.

Or ask to buy her children for your slave colony - a practice endorsed by the bibble.

CogitoErgoSum
CogitoErgoSum

I think you misquoted her. Shouldn't it be, "We no we didn't come from monkeys!"

DonkeyHotay
DonkeyHotay topcommenter

@CogitoErgoSum ... the extreme irony being those who deny Evolution offer the strongest evidence that humans did descend from apes ... some obviously not as much as others.


russell.allison1
russell.allison1

@CogitoErgoSum She's right-we didn't come from the monkeys.  We came from the line of the great apes.  I'm sure that if someone had asked she'd have cleared that right up.

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

@CogitoErgoSummight be spot on.  you know the old joke, "what does the N on Nebraska's football helmets stand for?  Nowledge

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