Jerry Jones Re-Explains His Totally Insane Rationale for Remaining the Cowboys' GM

Categories: Sports

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Jerry Jones talked to KRLD-FM 105.3 The Fan this morning, making about as much sense as the Fake Jerry Jones who no doubt graced KTCK-FM 96.7 The Ticket's airwaves sometime yesterday. Here he is on why -- despite his team's unflagging mediocrity, total draft-day ineptitude and other traits with the unmistakable whiff of Al Davis' aftershave -- Jones refuses to let any human besides him run his football team:

"The main thing is, everything is in place, every incentive is here to do everything we can to win a Super Bowl," Jones said, talking about his up-and-down club. "It's often said, well, why don't I get someone to be the GM, why don't I get someone to pick the players? Well, who in the world do you think that person -- when they walk through the door and say we want to get this player and we want to pay this player -- what in the world do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna sit down, and I'm gonna go through it, and I'm gonna say show me the player. Show me everything about the player. Before I write the check, show me the player and let me see everything about the player. Well, rather than have that happen I get involved in it and know everything there is to know about the players before they get to the door. Now that, if you've got the time to do it, that's a better way to do it. "

Got that? Why allow an expert to make good decisions when they'll just be overruled by the terrible ones of an old man who DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING? I mean, what a waste of time and money, right?

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33 comments
juanmayeaux
juanmayeaux

As a Saints fan, I am glad that our owner is happy just to dance the line and twirl his Saints' umbrella when we win.

itsjerrysfault
itsjerrysfault

Guys a movement has started. Become a part of it at itsjerrysfault.com

DFWconspiracy
DFWconspiracy

There is no other circumstance where a GM of a professional sports team would still have a job after 15 years of sustained mediocrity. The Cowboys will never be any good so long as Jerry is still running the show. Jerry's not the problem; the problem is you people keep buying his shitty product. Boycott the Cowboys.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Blah Blah Blah   Jerry owns it and is gonna do what he wants    Just accept it

russell.allison1
russell.allison1

I'm hoping that Fake Jerry was right and that Mack really will be the coach, Gordo's fake Mack was dead on.

jamessavik
jamessavik

Saints fans appreciate all of the cast off San Diego and Dallas talent that we've used to become annual playoff contenders. 


Seriously, we couldn't have done it without you.


Wonder how a 1st round running back would have worked out instead of a center.

P1Gunter
P1Gunter

While Gordon Keith is generally not funny, his fake Jerruh is amazingly good.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu topcommenter

yes I also wish Jerry would have left back when Shante Carver did. HOWEVER the only 3 posts about the Cowboys here this season have been 'hey let's all kick them while they're down' posts. as a die hard delusional Cowboy fan, I hope that if anything good happens the rest of the season you will throw us a bone, thankyou.

Mervis_Earl
Mervis_Earl

The Fake Jerry introduced his new coach Monday morning. The Fake Mack Brown. Funny.

Voot
Voot

Am I the only one who understands that the last thing owning a professional football franchise is about is football?

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

Dallas fans and the sports press never did cotton much to the old Prevent Defense.


maybe it's not so bad after all.

xmantx
xmantx

Just wait a few years and this stuff will really get wacky. He is becoming more and more like Al Davis in his later years. The guy makes no sense, ever. Why does the media even talk to him b/c nothing he says is worthy of listening to. Rob Ryan should probably still be D Coordinator and these injuries keep piling up like they did last year.


His drafts have been pretty terrible for as long as I remember. Even Ware is turning out to be a bust lately this year. I can't say other than Sean Lee that there is one guy on defense that scares anyone on the other team.


As long as people buy $12 beers and $15 nachos, Jerry will survive. Oh, and Papa John's pizza...

kayo
kayo

Y'know I always wondered if those coke rumors were true...

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

Ran just like the Bengals with the same shitty results. That's why there are only 2 teams out of 32 that do it.

castingthestone
castingthestone

My idea of getting old is retiring, playing golf 3 - 5 times a week, squiring my old lady to Bingo every Thursday night, and freezing my balls off with social security-funded AC in my vacation house.  Jerry's idea of getting old is avoiding retirement at all costs and making money on top of money on top of more money which will define his legacy.  He'll never stop and smell the roses, and we're stuck in this sports nightmare while he chases the dragon, hoping to trip over a glory hole along the way.  

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

Corporations that are run/micromanaged by people of Jerry's thought process tend to run well for some years and then implode from the top down.  CEO's retire all the time, why, bc the board wants fresh blood and thoughts from new people.  When all it took was money to buy the players everyone knew where the best, Jerry was a top dog in town.  But he needs to retire to just writing the checks and let fresh minds into that player evaluation position bc he obviously isnt doing a good job  

Greg820
Greg820

It's his money and he can waste it as he sees fit.  It's your money that you spend on his delusions when you buy into all that Cowboy c#p.

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

Cowboys suck harder than Jenna Jameson, but they do it in a real purdy stajium.

Brad
Brad

What a micro managing fool.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@ChrisYu you will need to read whitt if you want a bone, but itll cost you $4.95

JFPO
JFPO

He'll, Jerrah is making Mike Brown look like a genius. At least Brown has the sense to keep his mouth shut for most of the season.

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

Never spilt the kids on the floor for the cowboys.

Cabby
Cabby

That might feel purdy good by ole Jenna ;)

Greg820
Greg820

@JustSaying @Greg820  The last time I used a four letter word it blocked my post.  Now I know I can use this one.  :-)

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