Cedar Hill is Terrified of Redneck Heaven's Painted Breasts
The fallout from Redneck Heaven's Anything But Clothes day continues to ripple through North Texas. First came the crackdown in Lewisville, which had actually experienced the event, in which breastaurant workers covered their breasts and nether parts in latex paint and/or gum balls and/or goldfish. Next came Fort Worth, which is also home to a Redneck Heaven.
Redneck Heaven Cedar Hill is taking prophylactic measures against this type of thing.
Yet cities need not actually have that particular breastaurant -- or any breastaurant for that matter -- to be alarmed by the specter of breasts covered in nothing but liquid latex. North Richland Hills, which boasts a Hooters, recently excluded "paints, tattoos, latex and dyes" from its official definition of "opaque covering."
Tonight, it's Cedar Hill's turn. Last month, planning director Rod Tyler asked the City Council for guidance on how to handle the issue, since current city code doesn't really address it.
Here's how the provision on sexually oriented businesses defines nudity:
The showing of the human male or female genitals, pubic area, vulva, anus, anal cleft or cleavage with less than a fully opaque covering, or the showing of the covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state.
Tyler is returning to the council with a suggestion that it tack a provision clarifying that "body paint, body dyes, tattoos, liquid latex, whether wet or dried, and other similar substances shall not be considered a fully opaque covering."
Never mind that the city is home to nothing racier than the Cotton Patch Cafe. The measure is preventative -- prophylactic, if you will. Otherwise, the upstanding gentleman of Cedar Hill might one day find themselves in a discernibly turgid state.