The Dallas Zoo May Be the Only Entity in America Convinced the Government Shutdown Will End By Tomorrow

KamauWinspearDallasZoo.jpg
The Dallas Zoo
Cheetah cubs Kamau and Winspear will be sure to take your mind off the looming collapse of the U.S. government.
In the heat of the moment, while the country is heaping much-deserved blame upon Senator Ted Cruz for forcing a government shutdown and mourning the resulting loss of the nation's premiere panda cam, it can be easy to lose sight of the hundreds of thousands of rank-and-file federal employees whose jobs -- and paychecks -- have temporarily disappeared.

Not for the Dallas Zoo, which knows how bummed all those furloughed workers must be, hence its announcement on Facebook late this morning:

FEDERAL EMPLOYEES: We appreciate the work you do for us every day, and regret the upheaval in your lives due to the government shutdown. We'd love to have you visit today -- just show your federal ID at our ticket booths for FREE admission. Thanks for all that you do!

See also: Watch the Dallas Zoo's Aggressively Adorable New Cheetah Cubs Frolic

A noble gesture, to be sure. A healthy dose of breakdancing gorilla, with a side of maybe some sickeningly adorable cheetah cubs, should be enough to cheer anyone up. But it needs an asterisk.

"Thanks guys... I'll be by this week...." a man named Alan Litt wrote in response.

The zoo's social media team promptly set him straight:

Hi Alan - Our hope is that they work out the shutdown issue quickly. At this point, we are offering the free admission for today only. Hope you can still come out to see us. Thanks so much!

They did the same with Lori Gaston, who promised to bring "a bunch of us from Sheppard AFB up in Wichita Falls" on October 5, if the offer still stood.

Lori, it's just for today at this point. We're hoping this shutdown gets worked out soon!

And so on.

The zoo's dewy-eyed optimism is almost as adorable as those frolicking cheetah cubs. Unfortunately, there's little to be optimistic about. Here's NBC political analyst Chuck Todd predicting that, short of a miracle, "we're probably looking at shutdown thru the week, possibly merging w/debt ceiling 10/17."

After that, the country will plunge headlong into a post apocalyptic free-for-all which, in a turn of events too convenient to be mere coincidence, tea partiers will be best equipped to endure. The Dallas Zoo will remain a pleasant diversion from the roving bands of cannibalistic Harley riders, but federal employees, whose jobs were permanently furloughed when the U.S. became a failed state, will have to pay full price, just like the rest of us.

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13 comments
roadsidecouch
roadsidecouch

Hate to break it to ya librtard Eric, Ted Cruz is not the reason the government shut down.  The senile ahole from Nevada is the primary reason in the Senate.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

Eric, Belgium managed to do without an elected government for almost 2 years.  I think we can handle a few days.  Besides, maybe, just maybe, we will find out that we can do with out a goodly portion of our federal government.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Dirtbag Cruz and the rancid right wing refuse to accept that Obamacare is a done deal.  No amount of sabotage by the rotted out republicans will derail health care being delivered to 30 million uninsured American citizens. 

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

"... while the country is heaping much-deserved blame upon Senator Ted Cruz..." - Your supporting link leads to Unfair Park whining about Cruz. What "the country" is complaining about is the new health care law, and the mess it is right out of the gate. Oh, it's gonna get better, especially when unelected bureaucrats get done writing a zillion new regulations and hoops for you to jump through. Pay up!

DallasZoo
DallasZoo

Hey, Eric. Yeah, we've got a lot of experience with politics and poli sci classes, too (read: we're old). So we know it won't end tomorrow. It'd be cool, yeah, but so would cold fusion.

We just decided to make a one-day gesture in the spirit of, "hey, we appreciate our government workers," and because some of us know what it feels like to wake up one day to find you suddenly won't be paid that day. That stinks.

But we're a non-profit, so we can't do it every day, much as we'd like to.

Anyway, here's to American politics -- never a dull moment, eh?

(Those cheetah cubs ARE pretty darned cute. And did you know there are rainbows at the Zoo every day? And wait 'til you see our new unicorn.)

Best, Laurie H.

roadsidecouch
roadsidecouch

@jordanllen258 Yeah I saw your friend's ex last night on an internet webcam.  She made 18177$ shaking her big boobs.

epicmale
epicmale

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz Yeah, let's ignore the fact that obama says he won't negotiate or compromise.  Let's ignore the fact that multiple efforts by Republicans to fund various aspects of the government have been bluntly blocked or trashed by Reid.  Yeah, let's just ignore reality.

The upside is that almost every government shutdown has resulted in increased numbers of Republican legislators!  LOL....

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

"Being delivered"? Only if folks buy it, hon. What if millions of young people choose to accept the cheaper penalty rather than buy 300/month insurance? Rancid and rotted out youth may not go along with their marching orders.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

@epicmale  Obama will not negotiate with the terrorist right-wing.  He'll stand his ground on that.

epicmale
epicmale

@ruddski Currently, the estimated figures for the youngsters is only 25% participation.

Kind of interesting, but the enforcement is pretty wimpy.  The IRS can withhold your 'fine' from your tax refund.  But if you structure withholdings (for those that have a job) so that you owe them a few dollars at the end of the year, there is no way for them to extract the money from you.  (hint hint)

dingo
dingo

@ruddski The numbers do not bear out your assertions because there are no numbers yet because the system does not work yet. So if/when the system finds its legs and the numbers are eventually uncloaked by the CBO and broken down by age, income, health status, year-to-year rate change, etc.,  you will see that we are long past the 2014 elections. 

Its more of that feel good new open transparency initiative thingy.

epicmale
epicmale

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz @epicmale Terrorist?  LOL...  Yep, we can expect Cruz to walk in with a suicide vest any day now.  Sheesh....you people are really warped.  Try demonizing some Muslim Brotherhood members.  That might succeed.  But using this against fellow Americans just makes you look loony.

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