Ted Cruz is Spending the Shutdown Picking Apples

Categories: Politics

TedCruzGageSidmore.jpg
Gage Skidmore, via Flickr
It's happened. Ted Cruz, mere months after joining the U.S. Senate, has transcended grubby terrestrial politics and ascended into the realm of celebrity.

Want proof? This puff piece by People magazine should provide all you need.

In it, we learn that Cruz is a "self-described 'movie buff,'" wears black, ostrich-skin "arguing boots," and played both Rolfe and Max in school productions of The Sound of Music. But most of all, we learn what Texas' junior Senator has been doing since he more or less single-handedly brought the government to a screeching halt.

He's a family man. With federally funded attractions closed, Cruz spent the weekend apple-picking and touring Mount Vernon - which is privately-run and operated and therefore not subject to the shutdown - with his wife, Heidi, and daughters, Caroline, 5, and Catherine, 2. "We picked a whole bunch of apples and had a lot of fun," Cruz says.

Top notch work, People.

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29 comments
Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Was this a lead article or filler between a Kardashian and a Honey Boo Boo expose?

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

Did you really expect People mag to put out a hard-hitting piece of journalism?

finnmf89
finnmf89

Can we please impeach HIM?

limon.elvia
limon.elvia

Hope he's planning to bake a huge ass apple pie to feed all of the women and children who are off food assistance because of this shut down. 

Daniel
Daniel

Rumor on the Hill has it that Cruz likes to dress in a French maid costume while his wife straps on a 14-inch, solid-black dildo -- "El Rey Grande," the couple calls it affectionately -- and pegs him without mercy or remorse. Neighbors have reported hearing Cruz cry out in a mock French accent, "Eet hurts, Daddy, eet hurts!" 

Asked to confirm or deny this strange proclivity, Cruz plays it coy. "I am first and foremost about protecting the American people from the worst law in the five-thousand year history of Planet Earth," he says sheepishly. "That and picking apples." 

tld75202
tld75202

This is sure to stir up some sh*t and I apologize up front but I have yet to read a DO article where the same two guys don't have opinions (always negative) and multiple comments...one wonders what else fills their day......

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

Reminds me of the in-depth reporting on the half-term Senator who would be king, by hard-core political journalists at the time. That he survived that level of scrutiny is a testament to his... his... bravery!

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

We're blowing a trillion more a year than we collect and all you can do is yammer on about Cruz.  

ChrisYu
ChrisYu topcommenter

Cruz went on to describe his weekend as the 'Mt. Vernon death march'.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

Since when do Cuban-Canadians refer to noses as apples?

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

picking apples? that's the most positive contribution of work he's done since he became a Senator.

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

Maybe if had spent it golfing he could have gotten Obama to start negotiating, just from proximity.

dingo
dingo

@finnmf89 Yes, we should impeach him. That would surely rid of us of the elephant in the room, which is a 17 trillion dollar deficit and zero movement toward the requisite resolution, by way of entitlement reform, by the current administration.

LongConDoc
LongConDoc

@holmantx Cruz is in a position to do something about our country's problems, but all he does is yammer on in a fake filibuster. 

Speaking of trillions, the defense budget is the largest line item BY FAR. Let's think about cutting that, as long as the GOP wants some compromise.


ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

and now, reliable professional left wing journos are kind of discovering that this signature legislation Is a freakking mess right out if the gate.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

@Montemalone  

manzana, naranja, nariz  ... after a while they start to sound similar
... Aaaa? (= Canadian "A")

Daniel
Daniel

@everlastingphelps Everybody knows that real men clear brush. And start wars of choice. And clear more brush.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@LongConDoc Do you know what gets cut first in military cuts?  Family assistance, college funds, TSP's and soldier/family support programs.

so that is how you would like to fix the deficit?  By taking away the benefits these people have worked so hard to earn?  Well, Congratulations! You've done it.  My own ACF is gone, so I can't use that to help pay my sons' tuition.  My neice's ACF is gone (after two tours in Afghanistan, this is how the country thanks her.)

but by all means, fully fund ACA, so my taxes can go to help pay someone else's exchange healthcare (which I don't qualify for), leaving me without (because premiums have gotten more expensive since ACA passed).

Nice.

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

@ruddski 

And as a last resort, they will have to report on it.

The underlying fatal defect is that it (the ACA) just creeps everyone out with its autocratic, ordering everybody about for their own good, pinko commie style.  And on top of that they have all your information to beat you over the head with.  THIS from an administration which is shutting down monuments to torment the people for political reasons, while sharing your private tax data with their political operatives to use against you.

And it's run by the same guys who run the Post Office, and blew up Medicare and Medicaid, and the Social Security system.

then they exempt themselves (ha!).

leftocenter
leftocenter

Yes!  Thousands will die!  Millions will be squandered unnecessarily!  You did it!  You figured it out!

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

@ruddski 

It's alive.  Public employee unions provide the foot soldiers and the Dems have lost the private unions over this fiasco.  

Obamacare is the Democrat's Iraq.

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

The de party is the party of government, and like public employee unions, will eventually exist to feed itself with little concern for those who pay them.

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