Poll: Dallas Is the Happiest Big City in the Country, Because We Love Jesus

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Danny Hurley
Also, we have beer.
Here's the bad news: If you are young, poor, black or Hispanic, disabled, or just graduated from college, you are significantly less happy than you were two years ago. Recent polling says so.

Now, the same folks at Harris Polling who brought us that depressing tidbit now bring a spot of good news: If you live in Dallas/Fort Worth, you're more likely to be "very happy" than if you live in any other big city in the country.

This may seem surprising. If it doesn't, you're probably not grinding through the Mixmaster at rush hour or spending enough time in the comments section. But Harris is a fairly well-respected outfit, and they assure us that the results are sound.

See also: "Tragically Mainstream" Dallas Ranks Last in Highly Scientific List of Hipster-Friendly Cities

The bedrock of our collective happiness, it seems, is Jesus or, as the "Happiness Index" puts it, "spiritual beliefs [that] are a positive guiding force." We also don't worry very much about our health, which isn't the same as saying that we shouldn't. Adding an extra bit of glee is the fact that DFW out-happys Houston.

Of course, this is all relative. Dallas still scores a mere 38 on the Happiness Index, meaning that 62 percent of the population is not as happy as they could be. We have among the worst relationships with our family members, and we don't really have any hobbies.

Then again, who needs family and enjoyable pastimes when 1) We've got Jesus and 2) We're not Houston.


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125 comments
Matt Fulls
Matt Fulls

That is the beauty of America, everyone is free to believe what they feel. Unfortunately, too many people in power seem to think there is only one Religion, and only one right way. Hopefully things will change when the older close minded generation gets out of power.

Frederick Szczepanski
Frederick Szczepanski

I'm Agnostic. It would be nice if there was some Creator but I'm not going to tell people they can't get married or have an abortion because of a fictional book that I read and others didn't and don't believe in.

gregory_s_wilkins
gregory_s_wilkins

Dallas;go to work,stay fat drunk & stupid.look for a bicycle or jogger to run over!!

Michael TruckMonth Ricker
Michael TruckMonth Ricker

You must have only read like one issue or less of the DO because basically all their articles have a slant like this unless they're about tacos.

TexMarine
TexMarine

I can agree with #2, hands down. Thanks your lucky stars we're not OK City either.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

 Mention anything to do with sex or religion and the Facebook floodgates open -  

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

AND WORK,  DALLAS is a great place to work, cause there isn't anything else to do here

leachj96
leachj96

well,  love it  or leave it huh.....

Blue
Blue

This is Hilarious.  Did they steal this from The Onion? 

Larry Richard
Larry Richard

Jesus is my best cook.. I couldnt do it without him

weirdozmedia
weirdozmedia

Jesus is the best imaginary friend anyone could ever have!

jclement63
jclement63

Speaking from my own personal experience, I love Jesus and I'm happy. 

Marcus Tillman
Marcus Tillman

Even with 3 of the listed strikes against me, Jesus is enough to keep me smiling... :D

Matt Fulls
Matt Fulls

I am not an Atheist. I don't think. I grew up Baptist, got confused along the way, now I am not sure what I believe. I guess I believe in "something"....but I realize that not everyone does, and it is asinine to pretend that ones beliefs are more correct than others.

Trina Taki Hendrix-Hamilton
Trina Taki Hendrix-Hamilton

Um no. This is Dallas Observer. A MAGAZINE. Not an individual. When I read this paper, it is not laden with personal opinions, but rather happenings around Dallas. Yes there are articles where the writer states opinions but again...these posts are ridiculous as of late. Apparently you're one of those people who are on Facebook to argue with other people's opinions, no?

ruddski
ruddski

Facebook commenters totally suck.

ruddski
ruddski

Wow. Forty-two responses to this article, and only me, a "brain-damaged" commentor points out the elephant in the post. If this were not a liberal advocacy organization and Eric Nikkolsen were not a classic J-school hack, it might be pointed out that the people who are unhappy are for the most part the very people who bought "Hope & Change" lock, stock and bottle. But rather than broach the subject of mounting failures, y'all just fall into your simple-minded mantra of "Christians so totally suck!" L.O.L. Even good old crook Charlie Rangel has admitted that The One is "Embarrassing", and he's a long-time professional bullshitter.

TexMarine
TexMarine

@scottindallas I think you're just suffering the effects of 100 degree days. Just repeat after me, October is coming, October is coming.

kingdomofthefuture
kingdomofthefuture

Wow you must be living under a rock. I've been living in Dallas my whole life, traveled the world. spent a few months in Zurich, Costa Rica, and Italy, and Dallas is just incredible. This poll does not surprise me at all. We lead the nation in several categories, first city in America to be fully recovered from the 2008 recession. Only 3 cities have. Dallas was the FIRST. Booming Global job market. Beautiful Cosmopolitan environtment! Amazing vibrant nightlife, the nations Largest Arts district, the most entertainment centers AND restaurants per capita, of any other city in America. Beuatiful parks and lakes! Outdoor water activities, running trails, an amazing local skydiving community, live music EVERY night, always something going on. Fashion shows. big times music artists every weekend in DAllas, because, it's DALLAS. Big things really are always happening here. Dallas leads the nation in net migration, BY Far, so that means more americans are relocating to Dallas, more than any other city in America. So clearly, thousands of people don't agree with you. Pretty sad that all you see is work here. Me and thousands, see a city where optimism meets opportunity and locals living the American dream, EVERY day of their lives in Dallas. Wish you all the best.

Sharon_Moreanus
Sharon_Moreanus topcommenter

Honey...should probably check your privacy setting on FB. You may want to look in the mirror before you go out sometime, now we all know you live off Allen street, likes threesomes and having tea with your dog.

ruddski
ruddski

@Trina Taki Hendrix-Hamilton

Apparently FB posters don't know how to properly respond to a post. Surely this is not meant for Erich.

ruddski
ruddski

"Comment too long", and it only took 2 tries. Here's the rest:

My suggestion to Eric - get away from this bullshit, you're not very good at it. Do as I did and get into corporate marketing with a multi-national corporation, where you can still disseminate propaganda, but for actual, real, big-time dollars, dude. Otherwise you'll end up like Dr. Schultz, who has hit his zenith at a free weekly guide for drunks and titty bars. Sad for a man his age.

BTW, your comment software today is (almost) completely unuseable on the most popular mobile platform, Android, due to rogue pop-ups and the like. I'm on a Windows box now, so I can actually post more than 12 words successfully. If you charged, say, a penny per copy (if you can get it), you might be able to afford decent software.

That is all. I probably wont be able to respond to any responses, as I have to leave this box and go back to wonderful world of Android, but if someone writes real good, Ill get back on this box tomorrow and prolong the agony.

Daniel
Daniel

@kingdomofthefuture 

The truth lies somewhere between scottindallas' sour complaint and kingdomofthefuture's soaring paean. Dallas is a middle-of-the-pack, middle-of-the-road, middle-of-the-country city where it's perfectly possible to have a great time, where virtually every market niche is catered to with verve, and the city has a surprisingly vibrant creative community and a staggering amount of entrepreneurial energy 

However, it will not win any beauty contests anytime soon, the summers are unbearable, the average intelligence level seems kinda low, the suburban sprawl is appalling, the city has a collective boner for yuppie trends that have already gone stale in New York and L.A.,  and there is a very high ratio of self-centered, arrogant assholes with a surfeit of unjustified self-regard.   

Daniel
Daniel

@Sharon_Moreanus I'll admit this is fun. Unfortunately, the FB commenters themselves are, I'm pretty sure, oblivious to it. It is possible to argue that this makes it even more fun.

An FB commenter below lists her interests as "God,skin care, hair, fashion, house music, all music,yummy vapor treats,traveling,Fun...lots and lots of Fun! " This is fucking terrific. 

Daniel
Daniel

@ruddski One of the more annoying aspects of the Facebook comments is that they don't "nest." Trina may as well be talking to herself. Also, I get the impression they can't read responses of a non-Facebook provenance. So we may as well be talking to ourselves. All in all, Facebook comments are a form of pollution and should be abolished. 

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

@ruddski corporate marketing is the biggest waste of resources.  Cocacola doesn't need to advertise, their advertising budget is a waste.  And, you wanna talk about business.  What a clown.  A wage earner who wants to act like he has a clue about entrepreneurship.   You've been busted as an ignorant sophist

Daniel
Daniel

@ruddski  A) Where does he say Christians suck? Why do you -- and so many conservatives -- have such a deep-seated psychological need to feel persecuted? Why do you so quickly resort to personal insults, but become a Raging Tower of Butthurt when someone returns the favor? 

B) Where do you find evidence that the 62%  who are unhappy voted for Obama? For that matter, where do you find evidence that this survey is credible in its methodology, let alone in its conclusions (we're unhappy because we need hobbies?), to begin with?

C) Agreed about Facebook commenters. Nothing personal against them, but they tend to be semi-literate rabble. 

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

@Daniel Gee, and NYC / LA are such lovely places void of trend chasing and arrogant assholes.   Face it, they're everywhere and in large numbers

J_A_
J_A_

@Daniel @Sharon_Moreanus It amazes me when people leave their FB profiles this open. And they really have no idea their comments get posted here.

ruddski
ruddski

Scott, you now strike ne as a bit if an uninformed and ignorant idiot.

Daniel
Daniel

@ruddski @Daniel I'll grant you point B. That said, I still doubt the accuracy/value of this study, Harris Polling's general credibility notwithstanding.

ruddski
ruddski

@Daniel @ruddski

A) Re-Read my post  and try to figure out just who or what "y'all" means in context, then read the comments. I'm horribly accurate, and BTW, a lifelong agnostic who has come to consider the modenr left somewhat more foolish than religious folks. Sue me for the "personal insults", but keep in mind that truth is the best defense, counselor.

B) "... poor, black or Hispanic, disabled, or just graduated from college". What voting demographic does that suggest?

C) Hey, you're not a complete moron after all!

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