Mark Cuban Wants to Make Sure No Jurors Heard About His Alleged Come-On to Dirk's Brother

Categories: Biz

Thumbnail image for MarkCubanTrophy.jpg
Five years after it was filed, the Securities and Exchange Commission's insider trading suit against Mark Cuban is inching, slowly but inexorably, toward a showdown in court on September 30. Cuban, you'll recall, is accused of illegally using confidential information when he dumped his Mamma.com stock just before the company's fortunes took a nose-dive in 2004.

Now, after losing his bid to have the suit tossed, his lawyers want to ensure a fair trial. A fair trial requires an impartial jury, and an impartial jury requires people who haven't already formed opinions about the case, which will be hard because, ya know, Mark Cuban is super famous.

"It cannot be disputed that Cuban, the owner of the Dallas Mavericks, is a high-profile figure in the Dallas area and elsewhere," his attorneys write. "Consistent with Cuban's profile, there has been significant local and national media coverage of this case since its inception."

To back up this claim, they attach dozens of photocopied articles from news outlets large (The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and Forbes) and not-so-large (the Tulsa World). They also for unknown reasons toss in an application for a wild restraining order filed by a man going by the name "Jonathan Nowitzki," which includes passages like the following:

At half time my brother Dirk got up and left the room to go to the kitchen to make some nacho's. I was left alone in the room with Cuban. Cuban was intoxicated from Miller Light. He drank 6 beers from the beginning of the game to half time. His speech was slurred, and he was stumbling around. When Dirk left, Mark Cuban came over to me and put his arm around my shoulder and started kissing me on my neck. I said "Whoa Cuban, I'm straight dude, I'm just here to watch the game." Cuban then said 'You know you want me' and "I can be your sugar daddy" and he put his tongue in my ear and put his hands down my pants."

To gauge whether materials such as these may have influenced potential jurors, Cuban's attorneys propose a simple, two-page questionnaire. It includes questions such as, "Have you ever heard of Mark Cuban? If YES, please explain any impressions or opinions you have about Mark Cuban," and, "Have you seen, read, or heard anything about the case the SEC has brought against the defendant, Mark Cuban? If YES, please describe the information you learned about this case before today."

Safe to say that anyone who mentions Cuban's attempted fling with Dirk's brother will be struck from the jury pool immediately.

My Voice Nation Help
67 comments
wontunow
wontunow

no brother, but a sister.  and you still write this shit.

bunch of fucking queers.

Jacksondog
Jacksondog

I'll do almost anything for you to be my sugar daddy.WAIT-let me make a list of things I need.

Obummer
Obummer

Yo Eric Nicholson donez sho'nuff jumped da shark.

Joe Downey
Joe Downey

Like this is a secret Mark loves to go to JR's Bar and Grill on Cedar Springs and he is freindly

FEDUP
FEDUP

FAGGOT'S

Suck on my 12 ga.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Drunk on 6 Miller Lites?

I call bullshit.

MikeyLikesIt
MikeyLikesIt

As a gay guy, I'm glad to know that Mr. Cuban likes some dick from time to time.  What a great gig he's engineered frolicking in the Mavericks locker room whenever he wants.  Well played sir.

MikeWestEast
MikeWestEast

If you think he is a big jerk for walking around with the trophy like a 12 year old and then screwing up the personnel on the post championship team, do you still get to be on the jury?

bmarvel
bmarvel

When you're pulling off this kind of thing, best to tip your had ever so slightly. It'll help in your legal defense.

geopaschall
geopaschall

Ummmm, Dirk doesn't have a brother. Only a Sis. Did I miss something??

ruddski
ruddski topcommenter

I'm Dirk's cousin, and that bastard Cuban stole all my oxycontin.

mcdallas
mcdallas topcommenter

Terrible headline.  DO trolling for pageviews.  Desperate.  

jaredallas
jaredallas

I understand why the facebook post and headline omit any indication that Jonathan Nowitzki isn't actually Dirk's brother--gotta bring people in, right? But, why not mention in the article that Jonathan Nowitzki appears to only be related to Dirk in his own mind?

Rooster0620
Rooster0620

Um dude...

Not to tell you how to handle up on your business, but you might want to change that to "alleged attempted fling with Dirk's brother", before you and your employer get the crap sued out of you...

Eric Smith
Eric Smith

I generally love the Observer Facebook feed and enjoy more than my share of Cuban bile, but "brother" in the post needs quotes or alleged or something. And Cuban is enough of a legally aggressive type to pick a fight with it.

Christopher Cyrek
Christopher Cyrek

Do you guys put this to any fact-checkers before running a potentially libelous piece of fluff? Who the hell is 'Jonathan Nowitzki'?

Matthew Helm
Matthew Helm

is this the same guy that said he overheard Obama tell Cuban he was actually born in Kenya?

2DollaHolla
2DollaHolla

not the least bit surprised in Dallas that he's a fruity!

J_A_
J_A_

His twitter pic is the worst

Susi Walker
Susi Walker

Dirk has a brother? That's news to me...

mm32
mm32

Like Dirk eats nachos....

alteredjustice
alteredjustice

@DirtyP1 I was very impressed by his lawsuit against Michael Vick, wherein Michael Vick apparently used his name for profit. (I didn't click the link, but I'm sure it's in there somewhere)

2DollaHolla
2DollaHolla

@Joe Downey for his daily dose of SSSSSSSSSAUSAGE!

wcvemail
wcvemail

@mcdallas Reeled you and me in like wide-mouth bass, huh? If you expected objective truth in pithy, uncontroversial headlines, are you sure you're in the right blog?

2DollaHolla
2DollaHolla

@Jacob Hernandez you love the drunken sausage eh?

mcdallas
mcdallas topcommenter

@wcvemail @mcdallas Wait, what?!?  Are you suggesting that the DO is anything but objective?  I'm done listening to your nonsense.  Everyone knows that, aside from Wikipedia and God, the D.O. is the world's source of truth and ethics.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

General

Loading...