Eddie Bernice Johnson Wants the United States to Put a National Park on the Moon

Categories: Preservation

apollo11.jpg
via NASA
S'mores, anyone?
Dallas congresswoman Eddie Bernice Johnson has co-sponsored legislation that would establish a national historic park on the moon, to commemorate the United States' initial moon landings and to protect those sites from future commercial moon explorers.

In other words: Even on the moon, location, location, location.

"As commercial enterprises and foreign nations acquire the ability to land on the Moon, it is necessary to protect the Apollo lunar landing sites for posterity," the bill reads.

The park would consist of "artifacts on the surface of the moon" from several successful Apollo missions in the late 1960s and early 1970s, when good things were still allowed to happen. The bill doesn't call for bathrooms or bear boxes, so it's unclear what money would need to be spent, except for the several layers of bureaucracy that would of course be required to manage it.

Oh, and postcards. We should probably print some postcards.

Read the full bill here, and read more about it at The Hill.

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43 comments
RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

.....and I'm guessing she knows just the company to put in the concessions contract for this national park?

mcdallas
mcdallas

I heard Rick Perry's comments about the moon park this morning:


"And as to Eddie's suggestion we put a park on the moon, I have three comments:

1) Great idea

2) But it's a bad idea because a Democrat thought of it

3) Umm, well, aaah, oops, I forgot the 3rd one.  Ain't I funny?"

Obummer
Obummer

Yo we's ought ta makes da pie higher in the hood.

dominicide1
dominicide1

Funny huh? People laughed a Governor Jerry, "moonbeam" Brown when he had the audacity to suggest something like that one day data would be able to be sent all over California using objects in space. Funny. 

As an aside. . . Or that fucker who wanted starwars, I think Jerry's vision didn't include Halliburton therefore it succeeded.

MattL11
MattL11

Surprisingly, when you look at the bills proposed by this Congress, Johnson's is probably on the more helpful side of that scale. 

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

Has she been hanging out with Newt?

Tim.Covington
Tim.Covington

More proof that she has no idea what she is doing. By international treaty, the moon is international territory and can not be claimed by any nation. Yet another corrupt idiot that people keep reelecting. 

James080
James080

With Congress only working a three day work week, and still having time to waste on this type of frivolous crap, I believe the federal government should adopt the Texas model and convene congress only every other year. 

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

Sheila Jackson Lee wanted to know if the Mars Pathfinder was going to swing by and take a picture of the flag planted by Neil Armstrong.  She visited the NASA JPL in her district during Pathfinder's excursion on Mars.

Yeah.

Perry's an idiot.

P1Gunter
P1Gunter

This could work.

We throw Rick Perry in a spacecraft, fly him there, drop him off with a Texas flag and make him Park Ranger. Solves the Perry problem AND puts a Texas flag on the moon. Everyone is happy.

MissMacy
MissMacy

With an RV area and concession stands, I hope.

Les McGee
Les McGee

Tell her she can spend the money she misdirected with those scholarship funds... What a dolt.

Josh Drake
Josh Drake

I personally feel like if you bring a proposal as stupid as this up you should be fired on the spot... Trying to spend more money we dont have on a fucking park nobody can get to. That nobody wants, just so you can put your name on something. If you want to put your name on something so bad, pull out your check book, and write a check out for charity. Quit signing checks WE THE PEOPLE dont want to cash!!1

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

And you fools are embarrassed at the things Rick Perry proposes.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

A park? Fuck that. We got there first, IT"S OURS!

I am proposing a bill that would make the moon the 51st state.

The UN and the rest of the universe can kiss our Uniquely God Blessed 'Merican Asses AFAIAC.

Rex Curry
Rex Curry

why not go totally batshit crazy and try to make it the 51st state.

ruddski
ruddski

Sounds silly, but she has a valid point concerning our artifacts there.

David Hernandez Jr
David Hernandez Jr

Maybe we could send her there to pick the spot, and leave her ass behind.

MikeWestEast
MikeWestEast

Only the United Nations or a UN assigned group can have any construction on the Moon other than movable transport.  I think a variance in Outer Space Treaty exists for those flags, but they only denote who visited.  I think any property left on Moon could become UN property if the UN could ever get there to get it.  The Park would have to be one of those UN parks that you see in open oceans.

Arden Ellis
Arden Ellis

I have nothing to say about this woman except she should resign.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

@James080 Be careful what you wish for, we might end up with a Congress just like the one in Texas.

CitzenKim
CitzenKim

@holmantx Yes you are correct, Perry's an idiot.  Thank you for your observation.

GatoCat
GatoCat

@MudhoneyPerry's a symptom, not a problem. The mindset (or lack thereof) of the people who keep putting him in office... that's the problem.

animas
animas

Always working on behalf of her constituency! (lol)

mcdallas
mcdallas

@Josh Drake "I personally feel like" = unnecessary words.  You're commenting on an alt weekly.  It's assumed you're expressing personal feelings.  At least, that's my opinion.

CitzenKim
CitzenKim

@everlastingphelps Fools, maybe, but only a total f'ing idiot would not be embarrassed by the things Rick Perry proposes.  

For my part, I think E.B. Johnson is an embarrassment as well.

animas
animas

Well now I know that the good Congresswoman and Gov Perry like to look out for their relatives.  I am told that Gov. Rick's sister is an executive officer with U.S. Surgical Partners (who just happen to build and manage ambulatory surgery centers).

animas
animas

 The John Lear or Richard Hoagland version?

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@GatoCat @Mudhoney Still only a symptom.  There aren't really any viable options being offered.  The republicans in TX don't run very many candidates who aren't as stupid, or more so, than Perry.  The democrats in TX basically offer up people who run on the platform of NOT being Perry, which in layman's terms, is no platform.

Third party candidates are the only way TX will shake itself free of the Yosemite Sam's who currently and historically (with a few notable exceptions) have controlled the State government.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

@animas  

I was so happy when I was redistricted out of her district, but then again it was out of the pot and into the fire.

ruddski
ruddski

Its ours if we say its ours.

cyrrndr
cyrrndr

@ruddski I believe the finders keepers rule would be in effect.

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