Some Punks Decapitated Nessie, Arlington's Beloved Playground Loch Ness Monster

ArlingtonNessie.jpg
The Arlington Parks Department described the crime in clinical terms. Vandals had come in the night and defaced a piece of playground equipment at Allen Saxe Park, causing $5,000 in damage. But the detached language masked some strong emotions. This wasn't just any old jungle gym. This was Nessie, which the park department describes as its "beloved dragon," even though she's clearly a mythological Scottish cryptid. They'd found her body on the morning of June 13, tortured and brutally decapitated.

"They used some sort of mechanical tool," park department supervisor Scott DeGrant told WFAA, scarcely able to disguise his fury. "And it's our theory that a teenager or some child or someone has it in their basement or bedroom or closet as a souvenir."

The city is now issuing a plea for any information on the whereabouts of Nessie's head so they can track down the perpetrator and deliver a serving of cold, hard Arlington Parks Department justice.


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26 comments
roadsidecouch
roadsidecouch

They could turn it into a sand worm from the movie Dune.  Then the punks would be less likely to steal the head to put in some corner of their apartment.

NewsDog
NewsDog

I've been trying all morning to come up with a Haggis joke but I'm lost.

A.g. Zolli
A.g. Zolli

May the wrath of 1,000 Godzillas strike down upon those who committed this heinous act.

ElFlaco714
ElFlaco714

They should have summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

Gregory Allen Lester
Gregory Allen Lester

Talk about some weak punks. What's next, soaping the windows at a Kindercare?

ruddski
ruddski

Probably some Zevon fans. Nellie the headless playground dragon.

Manda Sims
Manda Sims

Plot-twist: They were the tool the whole time.

Mysta Flossy
Mysta Flossy

This has college kids written all over it.

Sia1
Sia1

Frat prank?  Except it's summer vacation...

colonelduck
colonelduck

Teenagers? More like late 20's to mid 30's hipsters who work at the Dallas Observer Blog trying to get another "ironically funny" headline.  

David Norton
David Norton

And with our judicial system's treatment of juveniles ... a slap on the wrist would be all they would receive and even with every park in Dallas could be torched and no one would ever be warned about it.

Jimmy Wright
Jimmy Wright

I think they should leave the head off as a rememberance of the Simpsons and to reflect on that episode.

Adam Tamez
Adam Tamez

What a pack of a@@holes that would vandalize something like that.... Prolly have tiny peckers and low IQ...

Joe Lummus
Joe Lummus

I saw the whole thing! It was Bigfoot, Elvis, and a bunch of space aliens. That bitch Nessie apparently owed them money.

Alejandro Monjaras
Alejandro Monjaras

That's why we can't have any nice things in public places anymore.

mcdallas
mcdallas

 Removing head from a park.  That's a first.

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