Will the Real Jesus Please Rise Up and Kick John Wiley Price in the Junk?

Categories: Buzz

jesuscrist.jpg
"Listen up, you dipshits. You see this book? Do you see the word 'Dallas' in red ink anywhere? No. No you do not."
They say the devil can quote scripture as well as the righteous, which helps explain the confusion sown by Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price, who whipped out his New Testament this week and rained thunder down on Dallas Independent School District Superintendent Mike Miles.

Price is burning with holy fire over Miles' wicked plan to fire principals and teachers at schools that fail miserably to educate students. The superintendent has been visiting some southern Dallas churches to win support for his novel notion that DISD's job of providing basic education is almost as important as its role providing employment to the friends of John Wiley Price.

See also:
- John Wiley Price Seems to Be Calling For the Crucifixion of "Fake Jesus" Mike Miles
- Vonciel Hill: City Council Member, Prophet, Theologian and Sell-Out

"It has come to my attention that now Pontius Pilate plans to parade through many of your churches with a fake Jesus in tow," Price wrote in a letter to 75 pastors, according to The Dallas Morning News. "It amazes me, but I must say that I am not surprised. While Pilate may find no fault in the prisoner that he has been charged to judge, we do. Thankfully, this time, we get a chance to make it right."

Many laymen were confused by Price's analogy. Who's ol' Pontius in this scenario? Does he mean school board President Lew Blackburn, who has been accompanying Miles? Why would Pontius pal around with a fake Jesus? Are the pastors the Sanhedrin? By "making it right," should we not crucify fake Jesus, or at least just rough him up a little bit? Can a fake Jesus turn water into wine, but only the cheap box crap? Can he raise the dead or merely arouse the deeply sleeping? Can fake Jesus walk on water, or just stand around on one of those infinity pools without slipping?

And how can Miles even be Jesus? Didn't City Council member Vonciel Hill say a few weeks ago that City Manager Mary Suhm was Jesus on the cross, even though Suhm at the time was accused of selling Dallas parkland to a gas driller for 30 really big pieces of silver? Can we schedule a best-out-of-three cage match between Suhm and Miles to see who is the real fake Jesus? Please, real Jesus, oh please, can we?

Alas, theology never supplies such cut-and-dried answers, so Buzz supposes this will all end up being another part of God's ineffability, much like the mystery of why anyone anywhere listens to a damn word John Wiley Price says about anything.

Truly, Buzz would like to help you sort out this puzzle, but our religious education ended when we got kicked out of vacation Bible school for giggling every time someone read the word "ass." There are a ton of asses in the Bible, it turns out, and in other places, too.

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26 comments
Americano
Americano

Very few people have managed to make a pretty nice career (until the hammer drops) out of being a corrupt asshole like JWP.  Gotta give him that.

lzippitydoo
lzippitydoo

John Wiley needs to worry about his confiscated cash. Where did he get that? Why hasnt he been indicted yet? He knows nothing about the schools!

schermbeck
schermbeck

Clearly, he and Ms. Hill need to establish their own Seminary.

ChrisDangerShow
ChrisDangerShow

I still think this is a ploy by JWP to drum up community support once the feds take him to trial..

BettyC1
BettyC1

John has lost control of himself mixing politics and religion.If people don't realize just how sick this man is we are in trouble. 

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

All I know is that with the FBI breathing down his neck, JWP wants someone to play Jesus to his Barabbas.

oakclifftownie
oakclifftownie

If I seemed to be  at the center of an FBI investigation I think I would be more worried about what was happening to me rather than someone else.

I guess he is trying to reinforce his status as "Our Man Downtown ."


martune
martune

With John Wiley, the price is never right.

Rixdanger
Rixdanger

John Wiley Price and the Trinity River boondoggle are the only reasons I subscribe to Unfair Park. Always entertaining, but sad. Otherwise, the "journalists" at DO are a bunch of bleeding hearts.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

The irony is JWP will probably have a cellmate named Jesus.

mcdallas
mcdallas

JWP is, I'm told, a member of the Nation of Islam.  Accordingly, why wouldn't he have authority to dictate what comes out of Christian pulpits of various stripes?

This whole situation just furthers the reality that truth and JWP are juxtapositionally opposed.

DISDTeacher
DISDTeacher

Here's one thing that's confusing:  Miles stood by growth plans given to principals like Anthony Tovar, who completely turned around Sunset and who has the the admiration of everyone in the trenches--the people who show up day after day and know the challenges Tovar faced.

On the other hand, it's been reported that the principal at Roosevelt (the one who is accused of misusing massive amounts of money) wasn't on one of Miles' "growth plans" like Tovar was.

This is why no one actually in the district finds Miles credible.  He is either unwilling or unable to see and tackle corruption, but he'll stand by a growth plan for Anthony Tovar?

If the principal at Roosevelt wasn't on a growth plan, why not?  What did Miles miss?

Also, yet another one of MIles' overpaid hires is rumored to be leaving.  These aren't people unhappy with his new style; these are people he hired in addition to hundreds of teachers leaving.

The problem is Miles and JWP is merely capitalizing on it to get himself some publicity.

scottie1620
scottie1620

@Sotiredofitall Yeah, but not every clown has a circus. JWP is the biggest clown around, but he has no big top under which to perform, so he goes to Commissioners Court to act like the true clown he is. I just wish I had been driving down Harry Hines one day years ago when he stepped out in front of my vehicle. We wouldn't even be talking about him today.

scottie1620
scottie1620

@schermbeck They could get Betty Culbreath to join them. Oh, wait! Betty hates JWP!

joe.tone
joe.tone moderator

@DISDTeacher Is it possible -- and this is a genuine question, in case it sounds sarcastic -- that he's just skipping the growth plan on building his case to fire the dude? 

(We'll look into this, by the way.)

Americano
Americano

@Montemalone 

Now, if you only had a brain.

DISDTeacher
DISDTeacher

@joe.tone @DISDTeacher Anything's possible, but the growth plan would not have interfered in any way with firing the principal for corruption/nepotism/etc.

There was and is plenty at Roosevelt that should have flagged the principal for a growth plan months ago.  The omission signals incompetence and/or corruption that all of Dallas should notice.

We teachers in the trenches at DISD want what helps the kids.  We aren't out there marching for a bigger paycheck or more days off.  Miles is the one who wants more money.  JWP may be crazy, but that doesn't make Miles a good leader for DISD.  The chaos caused by Miles is hurting the most vulnerable kids in the city and that's not acceptable.

titusgroan
titusgroan

That wouldn't make sense - a paper trail (e.g., a growth plan) is how you build your case to terminate someone.

And I believe the dude is female.

Cliffhanger
Cliffhanger

@DISDTeacher What's the old saying? When a lion fights an elephant, only the grass loses or something like that?

The kids have been stomped, pawed, torn and kicked for far too long while the alleged grown-ups indulge their egos and build their little empires on the students' backs.

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