Apparently Sober Waffle House Patron Crashes into Morning News Parking Lot, Falls Asleep

Categories: Media

Photo credit: rutlo / / CC BY
Waffle House and the Morning News: A perfect match.
It's a long drive to the Omni Hotel downtown from the nearest Waffle House, which is three-fourths of the way to Farmers Branch. It's a sleepy one, too, when made at the typical Waffle House hour of 4 a.m.

Nevertheless, an unidentified gentleman driving a 2004 Lexus SUV decided to undertake that voyage this morning. And he came oh so close to pulling it off.

Police say the man was about a block away from the Omni when they found him asleep in his car, driver's side door flung open. The car was in the parking lot of the Morning News' Young Street headquarters, having crashed through the wooden gate arm before coming to a stop.

Officers nudged the man awake and had him step out of the SUV. He explained to officers that he'd been at Waffle House and was returning to his hotel room when he was overcome by weariness. He didn't think he was going to make it, so he went to sleep.

Now, any rational observer would glance at the evidence -- late hour, poor choice of parking spot, intense sleepiness, meal at Waffle House -- and conclude the man was completely snockered. The cops suspected as much. But when they administered field sobriety tests, he passed with flying colors.

So instead of being arrested for DWI, the man was ticketed for reckless damage and escorted by police the couple of hundred feet to the Omni where, it's safe to assume, he remains there in a deep sleep, dreaming blissfully of waffles and exploding gate arms.

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I venture to guess he was reading the DMN while at said Waffle House.  We're lucky that this didn't end in a tragedy much worse.


I'm not surprised that someone would mistake the Dallas Morning News for a Waffle House. After all, both institutions are ones where the management regularly ask, to steal from Bill Hicks, "Whatcha readin' for?" (To finish the routine, "I read for a lot of reasons, but one of the big ones is so I don't become a fucking Morning News entertainment critic.")

primi_timpano topcommenter

Is not the NW Highway location closer?


He must be suffering from some mental illness, as no sober person would go to Waffle House in the middle of the night.  That man needs to start drinking heavily.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

Well, at least he didn't take his bitch to the Waffle House (with apologies to the Coen brothers).


Surely that's not the first time this has happened at Dallas Morning Snooze

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