Hey, Rick Perry, Listen. Is That a Fat Lady You Hear Singing?

Categories: Schutze

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Is it too soon and maybe even bad luck to say this out loud? Is it even possible that Governor Oops could be over? I'm knocking on wood, tossing salt over my shoulder, making the sign of the cross with my index fingers and looking for garlic in the kitchen as I speak, I promise.

But yesterday conservative Flower Mound Republican Jane Nelson led the Texas Senate to vote for serious reform of the Cancer Prevention and Research Institute of Texas (CPRIT), which Governor Rick Perry has used notoriously and flamboyantly as a political patronage slush fund and which is now under criminal investigation.

In so doing, Nelson made common cause with Dallas Democrat Royce West, who said of CPRIT's management, "If a common thief had done this, they would be so far under the jail, we would have to pump sunlight to them."

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Even more encouraging for Oops-watchers, the Texas House yesterday voted down private school vouchers, long an absolute mainstay of Oops's personal platform. You could almost say if Rick Perry can't get vouchers done, he may need to go get somebody else to call his dog.

There are some really serious instances of damage that Perry can still do to Texas, notably his long campaign to undermine University of Texas President Bill Powers and maul the university in the process. Probably the only factor slowing down that especially ugly juggernaut is the collateral damage it would do to the governor's own beloved alma mater, Texas A&M.

Oops and an oil-man buddy want to carry out a kind of Taliban jihad against university research in general, which they consider too pointy-head. The scary thing is that someday the light-bulb will come on over their heads, and they will say, "We're a'gin all research 'cept for cows." Then the powerful A&M alumni might stop dragging their heels and join him.

Ultimately for Texas, Rick Perry has not been our real problem. The much more grave and ongoing challenge has been the apparent domination of the entire state by the Pissed-Off White People (TEA) Party. Certainly a frightening index has been the attempt by U.S. Senator John Cornyn, formerly a fairly reasonable and honest human being, to outlandishly out-lie freshman Senator Ted ("Count me a Wacko Bird") Cruz in dishonest attacks on Obamacare.

But if Texas is tired of Oops, could it also be getting tired of the POW-PP (TEA) Party? Look: the POW-PPs have been the main driving force behind the private school voucher (tax-money-for-Jesus) campaign in Texas. They just took it in the ear.

I'm as dicey as anybody about getting optimistic here. I was way too superstitious to put personal faith in the stories last January saying polls were showing that Texans were tired of Perry. The thing about Oops is this: He's had one foot in the grave before.

In 2006, when 61 percent of Texans voted against him, he still got elected, becoming the first governor of Texas since 1861 to win election with less than 40 percent of the vote.

In 2009 when Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison first took him on for governor, she started out 25 points ahead of him in the polls, and by the onset of the Republican primary 2010 she was killing him in fund raising

But you remember how that went, right? Governor Oops' Yankee campaign adviser Dave Carney told him to tilt way right of her and appeal to the pissed off white people. He did just what Carney told him and beat Hutchison in the primary by 20 points.

Perry may be stupid, but he's not dumb. Beneath that oopsie-daisical exterior there's some shrewd country-boy horse-trader stuff going on. He's not over until he's over.

But can't we at least take some modest encouragement from what's been happening in the Leg lately, and when was the last time that thought even occurred to us? I'm just saying: It's possible, just possible, that Texas may not have to be the Bad Ship Oopsie forever. Maybe the notion of Texas actually trending blue is more than the bizarre sexual fantasy of people who speak French in New York City.

Maybe, maybe not, eh? OK, I just found the damn garlic. Anyway, if I'm wrong about all this, I suggest we go for a compromise and accept a ban on all science except for cows plus dogs. We could live with that, right? Look what we've lived through already.

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30 comments
juliuswhite
juliuswhite

I'm a Texan born and raised, but I am truly embarrassed to be a Texan these days.  Are the people of this state such idiots they cannot see what a useless piece of trash he is!  He could not be any more fake if he was a cardboard cutout. Of course, that's what the money people want is somebody they can tell what to do and we know Prick perry does what the money people want whether it is good for the state or not.  WAKE-UP Texans!   

Clarissa Nicole
Clarissa Nicole

A lot of (almost all) Texans don't like Rick Perry. Can we ban together and get someone else, ANYONE ELSE to be governor?

cliffd972
cliffd972

I'm not quite sure but I think you are a democrat, Jim. Just a sneaking suspicion. ;-)

Anywho, I encourage you to go to a TEA party or Liberty rally. Granted, they have more than their fair share of conspiracy theorists and Obama bashers but overall its just Americans concerned with how the state and federal governments are screwing everything up.

Also an ill-informed electorate is not just a Texas issue but sadly the norm in every state (even blue ones). As screwed up and corrupt the Texas state government can be we are still not running deficits like California. But yeah... I have the same opinions about Perry and Cruz as you do. We definitely need to get Perry out of office.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Just wishful thinking - with no legit opposition it will be Little Ricky for another term if he wants it.  Please reference the preemptive groundwork done this weekend at the new Jeffress Jesus Casino.   

MisterMean
MisterMean

We can only hope and pray that you are correct.

whocareswhatithink
whocareswhatithink

You mean the Jim Powers that covered up a football coach's affair??

Daniel
Daniel

Fat lady? Jim, Jim, Jim. Operas are only for rich people. I remember when I was  a kid working in the salt mines and it gave me character. And made me hate rich people. And operas. And opera houses and stuff.

itchyjack
itchyjack

Given the current State A.G and the Texas voters (in general), I really don't think Perry and his ilk are close to being on the way out.  There is no doubt there are a couple slush funds that are out there that need to be addressed (I'm sure ole Royce has a nice one) - welcome to politics.

I do know however, that Louis Taylor (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57577509-504083/louis-taylor-man-held-for-42-years-in-deadly-ariz-hotel-fire-scheduled-to-be-released/) is lucky that Perry and his 'justice' boys weren't in control of his case, otherwise he'd likely be dead, just like Cameron Todd Willingham.

Jessibell
Jessibell

As long as I get my free birth control pills what difference does it make?

roo_ster
roo_ster

Oddly, there were non-white people at the TEA party rallies I attended.  And the atmosphere was quite bubbly.  Really, how could you not get the giggles seeing octogenarian grandmas wearing complete red, white, and blue / stars & stripes outfits?  Or doggies decked out in same?

I suspect JS never actually attended any TEA party rallies  Or the good cheer and patriotism displayed was so shocking to his constitution, he has PTPTSD (Post Tea Party Traumatic Stress Disorder).

These folks seem pretty happy:

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3635/3453729038_eb81bf80b6.jpg

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3311/3453726668_bc20f77282.jpg

http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3392/3452911617_de135c3ddc.jpg


if6were9
if6were9

Rick Perry shall be governor, til they pry the bottle of hair spray, from his cold dead fingers. :)

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

Jim, not all of the pissed-off-white-people are in the tea party.  Do you remember Eddie Chiles?  Well, I'm mad at Eddie, too.

animas
animas

Perhaps Jane Nelson (R)-Flower Mound IS the "fat lady" singing trying to undo the mess she created with the poorly conceived original CPRIT legislation, which was largely her own work product, as I recall.  Her recent legislative efforts, mandating that UTSW/Parkland  student doctors and residents wear "name tags" identifying themsleves as trainees was laughable-- since that has been a JCAHO hospital requirement for quite some time.

roo_ster
roo_ster

Gov Goodhair isn't my favorite policritter, but tarring him as stupid just makes the tar-er look the fool.  Remind me again how many super-smart Democrats he has beaten like a drum?  How many GOPers he has thumped in primaries?  How many blue-state migrants have come to Texas to find work? Tell me again, how are Texas's gov't's finances are doing relative to California's & Illinois's?  He may be no Marcus Aurelius, but he is wise enough to stay (mostly) out of the way of the folks that make the state work.

The fact is, Perry is really good at what he does, despite his enemies' caterwauling.  He is sort of a GOP Clinton.  The difference being: if you ask him, "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" it _is_ a pistol in his pocket and not a pending bimbo eruption.


nakedlens
nakedlens

@cliffd972 I have a large collection of photographs taken from various Tea Party rallies, including the first ones in 2009, and the big one at QuikTrip Park in 2011.

I think you'd find that that they reflect exactly the sort of people that Jim has suggested make up the Tea Party: Old, pissed off, white people.

if6were9
if6were9

@roo_ster Just like how there were no non-whites who voted for Mitt Romney, but i've seen pictures that tell a different set of events. Though, they were just the ones whom weren't promised them free-gifts(wink wink). :)

observist
observist topcommenter

@ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul "not all of the pissed-off-white-people are in the tea party" ... but all the people in the tea party are pissed-off-white-people.

dawyv
dawyv

@roo_ster You mean other than the $233 billion in (primarily) local debt issued by local taxing authorities because the state government doesn't do things like build roads or contribute much to public education any more?  (Source: http://globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com/2013/01/debt-grows-at-astonishing-rate-even-in.html)  Or that most of those jobs people are moving for are either low-end, low-pay jobs or are for businesses that have basically been bribed by Gov. Goodhair's unaudited and unaccountable Texas "Enterprise" slush fund?  (Source: http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/politics/Senators-Grill-Gov-Perrys-Office-on-Economic-Development-Funds-190055171.html)  Sure, it's real easy to attract people and companies with a "you don't have to pay anything!" approach as long as we're willing to do exactly what Republicans supposedly hate: borrow from the future and make backroom payments to unaccountable CEOs.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

@roo_ster Sad but true - too many Democrats (and others) whining about Little Ricky sound like Cowboy fans who blame the ref.  Just field a better team and you might stand a chance to win.

cliffd972
cliffd972

@nakedlens @cliffd972 Well, I'm neither old nor white. Generalization is lazy and only serves to demean the other side's honest beliefs. 

Daniel
Daniel

@if6were9 @roo_ster Yeah, buddy, you just proved conclusively that the Tea Party is not racist. Oh yes you did!

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