Congressman Steve Stockman's New Slogan: "If Babies Had Guns, They Wouldn't Be Aborted"

Categories: Politics

BabiesWithGunsSteveStockman.jpeg
Congressman Steve Stockman was up late last night, wading through the flood of media accounts wondering why the media isn't paying attention to the case of alleged late-term abortionist Dr. Kermit Gosnell and putting the finishing touches on his campaign bumper sticker. He tweeted a picture at 1:44 a.m.

If this is, as it appears, simply a masterful attempt to troll liberals, we doff our hat to the Congressman. It's impressive how he was able to roll extremist arguments on guns and abortion into a inflammatory yet elegantly simple sentence. He could have worked gay marriage in somehow, but it stands pretty well on its own.

If, on the other hand, he's seriously proposing arming infants (which, given Stockman's track record, is entirely possible), we ask him to reconsider. Babies have incredibly poor motor skills. No telling where they'd be aiming when their pudgy little fingers found the trigger.


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24 comments
esabrina16
esabrina16

This lady is such a waste of... well about 12 acres that could be used for something a little more useful to our planet earth.......http://t.co/sV6xAqfYSi


Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

So what about if this fetus fighting for pre-life is in some crazy lefty commie Planned Parenthood office where they have lots of doctors and nurses on staff with giant forceps reaching up in there all over the place? Is this pre-life fetus allowed to have like a 50 round mag? Seems trying to reload a simple 6 shooter, or even a 9 or 10 round pistol could mean curtains for the future goper voter. I'm guessing the super-sized magazines are definitely gonna be necessary. Of course, this leads to a whole discrimination against pre-life fetuses confined to small women wombs. Where the hell you gonna store all that ammo?

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

my bumpersticker 'if babies had guns and they outlawed guns only outlaw babies will have guns'

MissMacy
MissMacy

A right-wing moron's answer to abortion: fetuses with guns to kill their mommies. Gotta love the simplicity of that. Holy crap.

cdthacker1957
cdthacker1957

His saying is that infants can't protect themselves they need adults with good and decent morals to protect them,guess in this case the adults failed them. So what's next on their agenda.

Anna_Merlan
Anna_Merlan

HOW DO WE GET THE GUN IN THERE, CONGRESSMAN? The mind reels. 

crimjunkie
crimjunkie

I stand in awe at Rep. Stockman's either utter-genius-at-trolling-liberals bumper sticker or shit-for-brains-this-is-what-I-really-think bumper sticker.

Though my first thought was to check the calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1 there at the Dallas Observer.

fetalfirearms
fetalfirearms

If a fetus had a gun and fired in self-defense, it might mortally wound the mother and put its own life at risk. Quite a quandry for its tiny, developing mind.

On the off chance the unborn child were able to aim straight out the birth canal and kill the doctor performing the abortion, would it be protected under the Castle Doctrine?

WashHater
WashHater

As an elected official, speaking through official channels, here's the thing:

YOU DO NOT GET TO TROLL. That's for assholes in their parent's basements with nothing else to do on a Saturday night. 

So I can only assume he is serious, and hence, a moron.

John1073
John1073

If babies had guns, they weren't aborted. Because they were already born and then handed a firearm.

Bobtex
Bobtex

In one sentence he manifests the depths to which the Republican Party has sunk.  Kudos to him for distilling down to a bumper sticker almost all of the collective wisdom of the G.O.P.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@Montemalone Looks like we're going to have to authorize high-capacity uteri.

oakclifftownie
oakclifftownie

@cdthacker1957Nope seems very clear he is saying "If babies had guns, they wouldn't be aborted." Because that is what the bumper sticker says .

JackJett
JackJett

I was thinking the same thing.  Now while I don't have a lot of experience with women, it does seem sort of tricky, not to mention dangerous in trying to get a gun ...you know....up there.  That combined with my ultra-mega enlarged penis, the room is already limited. 

Plus do I load the gun prior or after insertion.  Please....I need help with this one I am so confused.  Can I practice on you Anna?

observist
observist topcommenter

@Anna_Merlan They sneak it in with the sonogram.  See how the pieces of their grand plan are fitting together?

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