Robert Jeffress: Gay Sex is Like Plugging a TV in the Wrong Socket, Making it Explode

Categories: Religion

RobertJeffressExplainingHowSexWorks.jpg
YouTube
Robert Jeffress, illustrating with his hands how sex is supposed to work.
It was hard to fathom how Robert Jeffress could possibly refine his already highly nuanced views on human sexuality, but the First Baptist pastor has managed, somehow, to do just that.

Right Wing Watch brings us a video of Jeffress's appearance last week on Trinity Broadcasting Network's "Praise the Lord" in which he further toned down his anti-gay rhetoric.

His premise is there are many ways to deviate from "God's standard," sexually speaking. Premarital sex, adultery, unbiblical divorce, man on man, woman on woman, man on woman on man -- they're all wrong in the Lord's eyes.

He goes on to explain why: "Think about this one time in heaven God was sitting up there with his sketch pad and he said, 'You know, I'm going to design human beings and would it be fun of they started doing this together with one another.'" Jeffress illustrates this by excitedly jabbing his fingers at one another in a way that makes you feel truly sorry for the missus. "God dreamed up sex, He thought it up for our enjoyment, He gave us the equipment to enjoy it with."

He goes on to offer us the parable of the TV delivery man who very specifically tells the purchaser to only plug it into a 120-volt outlet. But the buyer, "because those are antiquated instructions" and "it's my TV and I can do whatever I want to with it," ignores the advice and rams it into the 220-volt outlet.

"Well it is my TV to do what I want to with it but I'm going to blow that TV into smithereens if I put it in a 220 outlet," Jeffress said.

Got it. Gay sex makes people explode. In fact, the only sure-fire way to have sex and not explode is to take a cue from Jeffress' gestured instructions and thrust blindly in your wife's general direction.

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76 comments
Paulla Parker Jeffers
Paulla Parker Jeffers

Another embarrassment for religion AND Dallas. You just can't make this stuff up! It's a Lifetime movie.

flosst
flosst

Wow. Whoever wrote this is a judgmental bigot.

Austin Bird
Austin Bird

I thought "explosive" was good in sexual terms?

Daniel
Daniel

I'd like to ask Jeffress if doing it "double-reverse meatloaf dinner"-style goes against God's holy plan? I suspect it does, but I'd just like to make sure.

casiepierce
casiepierce

Are all Baptist pastors this obsessed about gay sex?

Katarina
Katarina

Breaking news that Robert Jeffress turns out to be a closeted homosexual in 3...2...1...

Brian Harris
Brian Harris

"Like plugging a TV into the wrong socket, making it explode" - that sounds awesome. Sign me up.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Page views must be down this week, Eric ran to the easiest possible story to whore out.

I suppose Jeffress won't acknowledge that the concept and practice of marriage was around well before Christianity, but he'll also tell us that the Earth is only a couple thousand years old and it was perfectly okay for Adam to marry and have children with his female clone and his sons to marry women that were created out of thin air, unless they were their sisters.

Tim Smathers
Tim Smathers

He is a stupid little troll. Maybe elf, he looks like an elf.

Bryan Crumpton
Bryan Crumpton

"Gay Sex is Like Plugging a TV in the Wrong Socket, Making it Explode" best visual ever. Those who can do, those who can't preach.

vaunnorwood
vaunnorwood

Robert Jeffress loves to feel things explode, from the $100 hooker that hes riding to the 13 year old he just got done sucking off, he knows how to make thinks explode.

vaunnorwood
vaunnorwood

Robert Jeffress loves to feel things explode, from the $100 hooker that hes riding to the 13 year old he just got done sucking off, he knows how to make thinks explode.

vaunnorwood
vaunnorwood

Robert Jeffress loves to feel things explode, from the $100 hooker that hes riding to the 13 year old he just got done sucking off, he knows how to make thinks explode.

Danny Alcazar
Danny Alcazar

I'm straight so if I have sex with a female, will the opposite happen? Will I have a new T.V. just appear?

halldecker
halldecker

And ONLY in the Missionary Position!

Douglas Bentley
Douglas Bentley

I really wish these homophobe's would stop producing bad gay children. Since I am not homophobe, any children I produce are beautiful as are the homophobes kids..... Too bad the IDIOT Homophobes will never enjoy that beauty. So tired of people saying and thinking God Hates........

Double-O-Joe
Double-O-Joe

"And verily, I say unto thee, thou shalt not fuck thy neighbor in his ass;

For it is abominable in my eyes, and thou might explode or something anyway.

Come on, that's just gross."

Leviticus 27:35-37, New Dallas Version

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 ". . . excitedly jabbing his fingers at one another in a way that makes you truly feel sorry for the missus."

That there is GOLD, Eric.


*wipes coffee from monitor and keyboard*

ChrisDangerShow
ChrisDangerShow

Yeah..well...uh....Im literally at a loss for words..

bvckvs
bvckvs topcommenter

It's worth pointing out that his lessons only apply to Christians.  They are forbidden from this and that, but the rest of us are free to follow our hearts and our consciences.

PaulTrevizo
PaulTrevizo

Considering that the divorce rate is over 50% it seems that over 50% of Jeffress congregation is going to hell for 'unbiblical divorce."  

director21
director21

First, it is not even remotely possible to plug a 120 V appliance into a 240 V socket because the connectors are vastly different - specifically to keep you from plugging in to the wrong outlet.

Second, what would Pat Robertson say about Robert Jeffress' gay purple teletubby tie?

Jeffress needs to stick to what he does best - fleecing dumb people out of their hard-earned money. The man does nothing to give Baptists a good name, and after Fred Phelps and his Westover Baptist Church that teaches "God hates fags", the very last thing Baptists need is one more moron spouting inane comments that prove his knowledge of the "word of god" is less than definitive.

bmarvel
bmarvel topcommenter

Jeffress is entitled to his views on gay sex

But -- ""Think about this one time in heaven God was sitting up there with his sketch pad and he said, 'You know, I'm going to design human beings and would it be fun of they started doing this together with one another.'" 

Is this what the Baptists are teaching in seminary these days??

russell.allison1
russell.allison1

Somebody with more money than me please start the fund to hire the PI to follow this guy around for a week or two.  I'll contribute and I know a PI.  I figure with just a few minutes of video we can be rid of him.  We'll have to find someone to pick the entertainment he's been providing, but I was ready for a change anyway.

Rumpunch1
Rumpunch1

I couldn't help but notice he didn't mention man on two women.  He mention two men on one man.  I guess that is because the multiple wife thing was covered in the Bible. 

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

Running a left-wing "alt weekly" is like trying to sell ads for language programs by writing articles about how preachers describe gay sex. 

flosst
flosst

@casiepierce Nope. But the writer of this article is obsessed with it so much that even when it's far from the point Jeffress is making, he writes an entire article about "gay sex." 

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

@Double-O-Joe Also, "Thou shalt not go to a Red Lobster and pig out, for that is a double abomination in the eyes of God.  Oh... and you might explode."

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

@director21

" ... First, it is not even remotely possible to plug a 120 V appliance into a 240 V socket because the connectors are vastly different ... "


I think that may be part of his analogy ...

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

@bmarvel sure, you know, this is the best of all possible worlds, God designed that way out of love.  You've read Candide no?

downtownworker
downtownworker

@flosst @casiepierce So Jeffres talks about gay sex, the press reports on it and it's the press that's obsessed with sex? What planet are you from?

bmarvel
bmarvel topcommenter

@scottindallas I've read Candide. I've got to be wondering what the Rev. Jeffress has been reading.  

This quaint image of God sitting with a sketch pad, designing our biology lies at the heart of the fundamentalist problem with evolution -- as with so many other things. God is not some workshop tinkerer. 

casiepierce
casiepierce

@downtownworker @flosst @casiepierce I grew up Southern Baptist and I can only remember one single time when the Youth Minister tried to explain (the story of Sodom and Gomorrah) the definition of "to know" someone. And it was very brief. It seems like Jeffries a) talks too much on the teevee and, b) is obsessed with this teeny tiny itty bitty little subject. 

Daniel
Daniel

@bmarvel @scottindallas You're entitled to your own cosmology, Bill. But when Jeffress looks at his winkie, he can see his Master's hand. I mean, well, what I mean is ...

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