Please Shut Up About Your Custody Battle, Deion Sanders

DeionFox4.jpg
Fox 4
Deion Sanders, celebrating his child custody victory on Fox 4.
Dear Deion: There was a time when your Prime Time swagger was endearing. Back when you were still effortlessly shutting down opposing receivers as a Hall of Fame defensive back, your brash self-confidence, unfiltered by any hint of superego, played as charming. You've also proven yourself a passable used car salesman, and those DirectTV commercials in which you and Peyton Manning flutter about on fairy wings were amusing, at least for the first couple of dozen viewings.

But we're beginning to question your judgment. Actually, to be honest, it's not much of a question anymore. Your judgment is really, ridiculously terrible. We know it's tough to go through a divorce, and it's probably even harder when the media covers it like it's the coronation of a new pope, but this slander match you're having with your estranged wife doesn't suit you. This is brutal trench warfare at the goal line, whereas your talents are much better deployed in the open field.

We're sure that live-Tweeting your domestic disputes undoubtedly seemed like a good idea at the time, and that watching your own Hall of Fame speech in court, one of the few times you seem to have shed tears during two weeks of child custody proceedings, was genuinely moving, but these decisions you're making only make you seem like an unfeeling narcissist who cares for no one but himself.

Case in point: yesterday's "exclusive" interview with a sycophantic Fox 4 reporter in which you glory in your exciting custody battle win. You say you're "elated," which is to be expected, but then you offer some misguided sports metaphor about the game being in the fourth quarter and talk about how damn happy your children are to have the privilege of living with Deion f-ing Sanders. "Everybody's like, 'oh these kids are damaged,'" you say. "No! They're not. My kids live a wonderful life. My kids are ready to go on vacation. They don't' care about what went on. They're like,' Daddy can we buy boogie boards ... can I get these cargo shorts? Not, 'Daddy who do I stay with when I come back home?'"

The point is, it's probably wise to stop publicly crowing about how badly you destroyed your wife in court. It's unbecoming. But if you absolutely have to air your domestic triumphs in the media and on Twitter -- and it seems like you do -- it might be advisable to sprinkle in a bit of contrition that things had to come to this. At least then you might come across as the flailing divorcée we've all known, guilty of an astounding lack of self-awareness but actually human.


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10 comments
MushMouth1
MushMouth1

Can't the judge just grant custody of the kids to a pack of hyenas? These two narcissistic morons have no business raising anything above a goldfish. 

Who cares about the emotional well-being of children? They're nothing more than a chip to determine who wins in a pissing match between two idiots who should be sterilized.

casiepierce
casiepierce

I see, he's a great dad because he buys his kids anything they want.

breatheasy
breatheasy

Sanders' blustering chest-thumping appears scary and narcissistic. I haven't seen his wife behaving as such. She appears stoic despite his tirades. Living with him must've been a nightmare. Getting away from him requires bravery to beat his political advantages. His image is all about him, how terrible his wife is and nothing about the kids. How could Sanders' even think his kids are not affected by this? Too bad they won't be instead placed in a loving home away from this Jerry Springer life and unfortunate future.

breatheasy
breatheasy

Sanders' blustering chest-thumping appears scary and narcissistic. I haven't seen his wife behaving as such. She appears stoic despite his tirades. Living with him must've been a nightmare. Getting away from him requires bravery to beat his political advantages. His image is all about him, how terrible his wife is and nothing about the kids. How could Sanders' even think his kids are not affected by this? Too bad they won't be instead placed in a loving home away from this Jerry Springer life and unfortunate future.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Local TV news is awful, that's not news.

Deoin is an attention whore, that's not news either. It'd be great if the two wouldn't have such a mutually parasitic relationship though. Plus he's terrible on NFL analysis, but that's more easily avoided.

Rumpunch1
Rumpunch1

Unfortunatly, it appears the jurors were only given two options for the kids to live with. 

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

This is the fault of the media, FOX 4 News in particular.  It's the lead story every night.

texairhead
texairhead

@casiepierce It's called the "Disney Daddy" syndrome.  A great number of divorced dads seem to suffer from it or subject their kids to it.  Frankly the kids see right through after a very short time.

marvin
marvin

@breatheasyLike when she bravely faces the cameras, stoically grabs her boobs, and shakes them as she exclaims that these are what fed her kids.

Why can't Deion have that kind of class.

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