Mayor Rawlings Says Real Men Don't Hit Women. They Don't Beat on Gays Either.

Categories: Schutze

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Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings has scored points in disparate places with his man's man campaign against woman-beating, from New York Magazine to the metro page of today's Dallas Morning News -- all of it much deserved, if you ask me. A guy like Rawlings, Class of '76 at Boston College where he played defensive end on the football team, has the right voice and body language for telling woman-beaters they are not real men.

So what else? Look, maybe not today or right now while we're still working on the woman-beater problem, but soon, we might even take a few more steps down what I think is the same path and ask what a real man is, anyway. When we do get there, I have two guys in mind for the next chapter -- the Portman lads.

Last week Ohio Republican Senator Rob Portman announced he was abandoning his opposition to same-gender marriage after acknowledging that his son Will is homosexual. The immediate response was predictable praise and brickbats from all over the map -- people who called him a hypocrite for maintaining unwavering homophobic aim until his own flesh and blood came into his gun-sights, people who were angry with him for abandoning the good ship Homophobe, people who called him courageous for facing down homophobia in his own political party and damn the torpedoes. And so on.

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Sen. Rob Portman and family.
But what deeper lesson might we see in Rob Portman's conversion on the road to gender-equality Damascus? Isn't there a nexus with Rawlings' macho-man attempt to redefine masculinity for those wretches who still think it involves beating up girls? What about the wretches who think it involves beating up homosexuals or still think other people's sexuality is any of their damn business?

Let's start with men just because we're on the topic, but we all realize these questions go equally to women. Does a real man, in order to be a real man, need to feel fear and loathing for men who are unlike him sexually? What would your typical defensive end have to say on this topic?

An important if not defining element in sexual phobia has always been the remarkably predictable penchant of very showy homophobes to show up in cell-phone photos later getting on the airplane with rent-boys. It's too simplistic and frankly insulting to homosexuals to conclude that all homophobes are really homosexuals battling to conceal their inner natures from others or themselves. But it's not unreasonable to wonder to what degree homophobia is an expression of a very weakly defended, sexually insecure or otherwise wobbly sense of one's own identity.

In other words, does a real man worry about what other men do in bed? Does a heterosexual man really need to sit around with his dander up every time he thinks about men screwing other men? Then should homosexuals get theirs up, too, every time they picture men screwing women? Isn't this whole dander business just a bit too tangled?

When does some real man's man -- I think of the elder Portman looking very buff, indeed, on his bicycle with the helmet -- take to center stage and speak out against men who define their masculinity by denigrating the masculinity of others? Does a real man see someone else as any less a man than he because that person was born with a sexual nature unlike his own? Doesn't he need to look at the brave tough soldiers who are gay, the professional athletes, civic leaders, great dads and good neighbors, writers and artists, CEOs, and see that being a real man has nothing to do with sexual orientation? Just as a real man doesn't beat up women, a real man shouldn't have to denigrate other men in order to defend his own sexual identity.

A 2002 study by three University of Arkansas psychologists, much touted in conservative homophobic circles, concluded that the word, homophobia, is a misnomer, because homophobes aren't afraid of anybody. Instead, according to the Razorback research team, homophobia is born of disgust, which is born of fear of contamination. I guess this was an attempt to define homophobia as a healthy and natural quality. I don't get it on strictly semantic terms, because the word, fear, does still seem to be an important part of the formula.

But what is at the bottom of disgust itself? Especially when it is a visceral reaction to entire populations of other human beings, isn't that disgust always an attempt to define one's self as unlike the feared and loathed other? Isn't hatred of the other always the same thing, whether expressed as sexism, racism, homophobia, religious intolerance, jingoistic nationalism? It's an attempt to bolster one's own sense of self by dehumanizing the other.

Isn't that close to the heart of the issue with men who think it's OK to beat up women?
The universal bottom line is that people who feel this disgust for the other are weak, not strong. They are less, not more. Rather than fortify, their desire to dehumanize others cheapens and erodes their own dignity as human beings. Real men -- and real women -- do not gay-bash. When do we rally on the steps of City Hall for that one?



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70 comments
markzero
markzero

Worrying about someone else's masculinity is beta male behavior.


;P

rbeezlee
rbeezlee

Why don't you organize it and lead the march, Jim?  I'll be there.  For once, don't talk; do.

weeblepeeple
weeblepeeple

Didn't this whole campaign start when a woman called 911 to say that her husband/boyfriend was about to blow her away so the police went up to the door, heard nothing, left and then later it was discovered that she had, in fact, been blown away? Why are men not sharing this campaign and helping the Mayor on social media, the way they share saving kittens.

John1073
John1073

I also think Rawlings is simply bored because he realized the mayor has no power to deal with schools. I can see the meeting now... "Hey, I need to do something big and this school thing isn't gonna work. And that other guy down the hall already got the saggy pants thing patented.  I need a grand event, stat!"

John1073
John1073

Rawlings should go to the Dallas Eagle or Round Up and see some mens men.

James080
James080

President Obama and Hillary Clinton both "changed their minds" and announced support for gay marriage within the last year. Their announcements earned them a big MEH from the media. Probably because anyone with a brain knew they already supported gay marriage but opposed it in public for political reasons (IE..they lied for votes). Does it really matter why someone changes their position - as long as they eventually get it right? Isn't politics all about trying to get someone you disagree with to change their position?

garlandsucks
garlandsucks

"never mind the rent bubba, just look at these jiggling tits"  picking a cause that no one would disagree with is pandering to the lcd on the highest level....should win him a few elections though.

s.aten
s.aten

Considering all the problems with corruption & scandals plaguing city hall, I can see why the Mayor might want to distract our attention but it does not solve the problems.   Also, if you want to deal with the problem of spousal abuse, the mayor should be talking to the pastors & priests who tell women to be submissive to your husband or father.    There are a number of religions that are not paragons of virtue in their treatment of women either.

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

Grandma didn't like hippies until her nephew showed up at the family reunion with long hair and bell bottoms..

people change.

A woman simply is, but a man must become. Masculinity is risky and elusive. It is achieved by a revolt from woman, and it is confirmed only by other men. . . . Manhood coerced into sensitivity is no manhood at all. - Camille Paglia (b. 1947), U.S. author, critic, educator. “Alice in Muscle Land,” book review, in Boston Globe (27 Jan. 1991; repr. in Sex, Art, and American Culture, 1992).

roo_ster
roo_ster

First, if women are so tough and capable (supposedly capable enough for combat roles in .mil), why do they need anti-discrimination law, VAWA, and special-pleading by lefty columnists?  For my part, I support prosecuting men who batter women.  But I also then don't insist that women ought to be in combat units.  There is some serious cognitive dissonance going on in lefty-dom on this issue.

=====================

"Does a real man see someone else as any less a man than he because that person was born with a sexual nature unlike his own?"

Yes, because "man" and "masculinity" have real meanings.  Included in those meanings are the concepts of mammalian sexual reproduction.  If a person exhibits fewer masculine characteristics and instead engages in decidedly un-masculine practices, it is fair to consider them less a man or less manly than someone who does.

=====================

"...the word, homophobia, is a misnomer, because homophobes aren't afraid of anybody. Instead, according to the Razorback research team, homophobia is born of disgust, which is born of fear of contamination. I guess this was an attempt to define homophobia as a healthy and natural quality. I don't get it on strictly semantic terms, because the word, fear, does still seem to be an important part of the formula."

In short, the term "homophobia" is an attempt by the homosexual lobby to pathologize and declare as psychologically unstable those who do not support their views.  Not exactly the first time in history some group has sought to marginalize political foes by calling them crazy. "Comrade Stalin to the white, er, RED courtesy phone."

JS, you project "fear" on those unsupportive of the homosexualist imposition on the culture on your own, for your own purposes.  Pretty much every society in history has sanctioned homosexuality to a greater or lesser degree.  Also, every society has some serious issues with human waste and the orifices associated with human waste.  Homosexuals play in that cultural space and can expect to be sullied by practices that get them associated with the ritually unclean and that which is in reality a disease vector.  If you wanna play in the mud, expect not to be invited inside until you get hosed off.

Those social attitudes did not develop just all willy-nilly, with some pre-historic Caveman Phelps jumping up and down, waving a rock over his head.  Human feces is a disease vector.  Those who handle it are more likely to contract and pass on disease.  Ancient societies may not have had the germ theory of disease, but they could see patterns as well as we.  Homosexuals in our time are also much more prone to contract communicable diseases  due to the nature and frequency of their contact with fellow homosexuals.  Toss in other damaging social behavior such as roughly a 9x rate of sexual offense against minors relative to heterosexual males(1) and folks start to notice the pattern, even if they can not explain it or do not know the exact stats.  (Or the data is buried by most of the agenda-driven media.)

Doesn't mean you run around beating the heck out of random homosexuals because they can't figure out how to use their wedding tackle any more than you would beat on elderly drivers (who cause 1.5x the number of traffic accidents(2) than the non-elderly).  Or beat the heck out of random black men because they are 8x more likely to commit violent offenses(3).

OTOH...keeping an eye on grandpa the next lane over, arming yourself if you must go to a "vibrant" neighborhood, and keeping your boy children out from underfoot of homosexuals & opposing the mainstreaming of homosexuality...are rational responses to elevated risk factors.

=====================

"Isn't hatred of the other always the same thing, whether expressed as sexism, racism, homophobia, religious intolerance, jingoistic nationalism? It's an attempt to bolster one's own sense of self by dehumanizing the other.

Isn't that close to the heart of the issue with men who think it's OK to beat up women?"

That is category error.  All those can have wildly different motivations and objective end states.  I wonder, "Who is trying to bolster one's own sense of self by dehumanizing the other?"  





(1) I have done the math before here on DO, but for those who care, the data is sourced from FBI crime stats and some of the various surveys of claimed sexual practices & orientation.  Depending on which survey, you'll come up with more or less 9x.

(2) Have fun searching NHTSA.

(3) Again, FBI stats and population proportion.


dallasdrilling.wordpress.com
dallasdrilling.wordpress.com

The Mayor needs some new branding and Donna Halstead jumped on this when she knew he needed help. It supposed to portray him as being sensitive, and caring since the bad publicity has hit City Hall via Mary Suhm's corruption problems. He's got nothing else, and there's no ribbon cutting to be done. After Saturday, he'll go back to fetching treats for the Dallas Citizens Council

http://dallasdrilling.wordpress.com/

GGreen
GGreen

I don't understand what Rawlings is getting at. Sure domestic violence ain't cool, but what's with all this trumpeting and pandering? Just weird. It's stuff that First Lady's should be doing along with childhood obesity and reading initiatives.

How about making Dallas the best city you can make it? Culturally, economically more developed and sustainable?

Jai Bird
Jai Bird

I would venture to guess he was just making a cheap joke. Sometimes if it's that easy, it's too hard to resist for some people.

oakclifftownie
oakclifftownie

I Get it Mr Mayor, Ned beats Ethyl and it needs to stop   But  Mr Mayor we need results and the results we need from you are what we can see. Fixed potholes and an animal control that actually can respond to complaints within hours not days .  Not this PIE in the SKY old style ABC movie of the week or Scott Baio after school special  issue with no real definable victory's you have decided  latch on to because it sounds good and you think no one will criticize you very real short comings as a Mayor because you are so publicly proactive this . 


Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Don't perpetuate the impression that gay men are not able to defend themselves.  Mess with some people I've known and you'll be in for a terrible surprise.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

All this to really just point out a basic tenet of humanity that has been around for millennia: The Golden Rule.  Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.  These crusades against 'different' haters are nothing new, not in this country, not in the world.  Unfortunately, just as the golden rule has been around almost as long as humanity itself, so has bigotry and prejudice.  Mayor Mike won't change it, neither will Sen. Portman.  The backlash against it is so severe now that any deviation from abject humility and laudatory worship of the subject population (be they homosexuals, women, minorities, midgets or one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eaters) is views as bigotry.  The demand of these groups for a superior equality is untenable, and further entrenches the hostility from the other side.

halldecker
halldecker

Anybody who actually thinks a single wife/gay/minority beater will be persuaded not to by this foolishness,  please stand up!


ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

Gay marriage?  Yeah let them be just as unhappy as the rest of us.  Besides, I am waiting to see how the tort law develops on gay divorce, especially with children.  I can see it now two guys sitting across a table screaming at each other how the other is a terrible father and the children should go live with this father ... same thing with two thespians, I mean lesbians ....

downtownworker
downtownworker

I'm happy that the mayor has found his cause célèbre and he will do a lot of good because of it. But it's disappointing that he's failed to lead on LGBT issues. Just yesterday I saw a tweet from San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro praising Hillary Clinton for (finally) coming out in support of same-sex marriage. Why can't our mayor be that supportive? Does he not understand the correlation between sexism and homophobia?

cantkeepthetruthdown
cantkeepthetruthdown

Eventually we might succeed in feminizing every last vestige of masculinity! Then we can all feel safe! YAYYYYYY

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

@roo_ster

So, rooster, correct me if I misinterpret. If women serve their nation in combat, you think you should be allowed to whack your wife. You define masculinity, no one else does. And you have a pretty major thing about the poop chute. Tell me where my aim errs.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@roo_ster

*sigh*

no, not every women is "tough and capable", or should be in a military unit; and not every man is aligned with your unrealistic definition of what a "real man" is. newsflash to roo_ster: there is a wide variety of female personality and physicality types, and SHOCK! they are ALL women, just like there is a wide variety of male personality and physicality types, and SHOCK! they are ALL men. A homosexual man is still a man, and a homosexual woman is still a woman.

your continued error in labeling homosexuals "9x" more likely to commit a sexual act on a minor shows your lack of credibility. you have been corrected multiple times, shown the research that directly contradicts and invalidates your assertion multiple times, and you have yet to show anything that supports your assertion but your convoluted and incorrect misapplication of stats. give it up, you are WRONG!

your focus/preoccupation on the physical act of male homosexual anal sex reveals more about you than it says about homosexuals. I know it shocks you to learn that not every homosexual male engages in anal sex, but live with it. it's true.

garlandsucks
garlandsucks

@oakclifftowni Did you get that from a scott baio after school special?

roo_ster
roo_ster

@oakclifftownie Amen.  Try running the city in a sane manner.  That ought to be a task big enough to occupy your time.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Oh, and don't even THINK about fucking with a drag artist, honey.  Gurrrrrrrl!

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@rtgolden

you were doing fine until the comment on "superior equality"....that is non-sensical.

Americano
Americano

@ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul  

I tell my gay friends, yes you can be Conservative and have gay friends, that they deserve the joy of divorce as much as straight people. Be careful what you ask for...

rbeezlee
rbeezlee

Jim, you're absolutely the worst at trying to draw others offsides. "Misinterpret." Surely, your numerous pathologies haven't rendered you THAT stupid? At least I hope not. Why don't you try calling rooster a, er, I don't know, a bacon-hater or an anti-bicycle lane subhuman. Maybe that'll elicit the response you crave? Ya know, really go after this person. 

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@mavdog Is it?  That is what many of the more extreme voices are calling for.  They want others to not only accept their lifestyle, culture, race, gender ID or whatever it is (which I have no problem with) but also to deny their own beliefs in order to accomodate them.  Ref: Chik-fil-a.  The owner or CEO simply stated he was against gay marriage.  Fine, that is part of his beliefs.  It's not good enough that the company serves and hires without qualification on the basis of gender or gender ID, he also has to come out in support of their political agenda.  And being for or against gay marriage is nothing more than that: a political agenda.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@cantkeepthetruthdown

your view of what defines "masculinity" is very, very wrong.

not to mention how you apparently fail in correctly defining femininity....

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@rbeezlee Looks like he got the response he was looking for already.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

@brint.crockett And the point has sailed right past you.  Thank you for playing, come again.

brint.crockett
brint.crockett

Extreme? It's not like you're the one getting married. Hell, you probably won't even be invited.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@rtgolden

I'll agree that "political correctness" has gone way too far in how many times it is utilized to suppress debate\discussion. One can take a position on opposing gay marriage and not be a gay basher.

I do take issue with the example of Cathy and CFA however. I will defend his right to express his position on the issue, and he should feel comfortable in his beliefs. Any attempt to silence Cathy is shortsighted.

The public likewise has the right to deny their business to his firm, and to voice and organize their opposition.

My experience with CFA is it will certainly serve its products "without qualification"; however, their employment policies are without question intertwined with their founder's/management's beliefs. A friend interviewed for a management position, and was asked repeatedly "What do you and your family typically do on Sundays"? A very pointed question that avoids directly asking about religion but nonetheless provides the answer.

They clearly only want their "own folks" as it were, and not people outside that group.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@roo_ster

very revealing on your failure of reading comprehension. go back and read the post a few times and maybe you will eventually understand it.

as it is, you don't. and no it isn't "psychological", it's basic intelligence. or lack of as the case may be....

roo_ster
roo_ster

@mavdog Issues with gender identity are definitely psychological issues.  

Like I wrote, nice lefty queer-baiting.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@roo_ster

LMAO!!! clearly you do not understand anything about what "gender identity" represents/means.

too funny. actually, sorta sad, but funny nonetheless.

roo_ster
roo_ster

@mavdogRead your own post: 

"yes, you definitely have issues with gender identity. good luck resolving your problems."

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@roo_ster

care to identify those "not-so-veiled accusations" that you conjured up? really, as they don't exist your explaining how you see them would be quite revealing.

roo_ster
roo_ster

@mavdog Wow, not-so-veiled accusations of homosexuality and psychological issues.  Gotta love lefty queer-baiting.

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

@cantkeepthetruthdown

yes, you definitely have issues with gender identity. good luck resolving your problems.

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