A North Texas Man Has Joined the Important Crusade Against Watered-Down Budweiser

BudweiserCrab.jpg
On Tuesday, beer drinkers in three states filed federal lawsuits against Anheuser-Busch InBev, the world's largest brewer and the purveyor of Budweiser, Bud Light Lime, Michelob Ultra and other innovative beer and beer-like products.

A Dallas-area drinker has now joined their ranks. Michael Seidenstein, a 30-something man who owns property in Dallas and Plano, filed a federal class-action lawsuit on Thursday in the Northern District of Texas.

The claim is that the company watered down its booze, diluting it below its stated alcohol content and violating the state's consumer protection statutes, so that it can sell more beer.

Seidenstein puts it this way in his suit:

Using highly advanced process control instrumentation and corporate protocols, AB can and does identify and control, with great accuracy and precision, the exact alcohol content of each malt beverage it swells, but it nevertheless intentionally misrepresents numerous of such products as containing greater amounts of alcohol than they actually contain.

This fooled Seidenstein, who, according to the suit "purchased approximately one six-pack or twelve-pack of Bud Light Platinum, Bud Light Lime or Michelob Ultra per month during the past four years at various retailers." When he splurged on Bud Light Platinum, a light beer that touts its six-percent alcohol content, "he specifically did so because of its higher alcohol content," which he believed would cause whatever activities he was currently engaged in ("Shit") to more quickly advance to a stage of unruliness ("Get Cray.")

Revealing a stunning lack of alcoholic curiosity, or perhaps just some modicum of taste, Seidenstein then claims he never partook of Bud Ice, Hurricane High Gravity Lager, King Cobra, Busch Ice, Natural Ice, Black Crown, though he mentions those in his suit, too.

Seidenstein's suit is a class-action, meaning he's invited anyone living in Texas who has consumed an Anheuser-Busch product to join in. He expects total damages to top $5 million.

(It should be noted that NPR, among other news outlets, did independent tests and concluded that Bud's alcohol content is as advertised. And the company called the claims "completely false.")

We've left a message on Seidenstein's home number and emailed his attorney, Roger Mandel, whose auto-reply says he's out of town. There are still a lot of questions we want to have answers. Namely, "It took you four years to realize that Budweiser is watery swill?" And, "How the hell did you make a six pack last for a whole month?"

Update on March 1: The answers to those questions will have to come out in court. Mandel sent along a terse statement last night:

In the best interests of representing all of the Texans who purchased watered down AB products, Mr. Seidenstein will not be giving any interviews.
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10 comments
Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

"he splurged on Bud Light Platinum" ???    Canoe Beer - Definition: near to water

Mervis
Mervis

Does he still have said watered down product? (Not reading legal papers) Seems to be an easy case if he does. If not then F him for no proof.

monstruss
monstruss

if this guy would just support his local craft beer scene, he wouldn't have to worry about shitty, watered down beer. 

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Talk about your first-world problems.

There are needy children all over the world that have NO beer to drink, and this guy is worrying on the ABV content of his shitty domestic beer?


Double-O-Joe
Double-O-Joe

*Opens a Lakewood Temptress, looks on with interest*

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

I am grateful that he took a stand, rather that wimping out in the face of controversy.

observist
observist topcommenter

Dude buys "Bud Light Lime" and has the gall to complain it's "watered down"?   WTF does he think "Light Lime" means?   Even if it's true, it's hard to believe that he was damaged by unwittingly consuming less alcohol than he thought

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

@TheCredibleHulk "Hello? Itchy and Scratchy Land, open for business! Who are you to resist it, eh? Come on, my last paycheck bounced. My children need wine!"

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@ChrisYu 

All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to stand aside and do nothing in the face of it.


(. . .or something. . .)

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