Calatrava "Bridge" No. 2: We're Spending an Extra $7 mil to put Lipstick on a Pig

Categories: Schutze

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The Dallas City Council yesterday voted to spend some $7 million of your money to cover the latest cost overruns for the second Calatrava suspension bridge over the Trinity River. The city already had to cheap down the first Calatrava suspension bridge so much that now it's not even a real suspension bridge.

But look at this. Calatrava has raised the price for this second one so many times that it's not even going to be a bridge. We're spending $29 million for Calatrava bike lanes that will be slapped onto a plain vanilla concrete bridge built by the Texas Department of Transportation. That way if you look at it from an airplane, you will see big arches and think it's a Calatrava bridge when it's just bike lanes. Score!

We need to ask ourselves what what would inspire a city that can't even mow the grass in its parks to spend this kind of money on Calatrava bike lanes. In fact, wait: this is a city that says it can't afford bike lanes. So what is this, anyway?

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For $7 million bucks, we could buy about 35,000 Bedazzlers and really go to town on dressing up this burg. (S&H not included.)
We know what it is, right? It's typical embarrassing pretentious Park Cities bling. It is the proverbial Mercedes Benz parked out in front of a dump.

What else could Dallas do that would be consonant with the spirit of the second Calatrava not-even-a-bridge? Well, what about that Mercedes thing? What if we could pay Mercedes a couple mil' to let us put their emblem on the hoods of those Detroit-made patrol cars the cops drive?

Or, oh my gosh, listen to this idea: We also change the male police uniform to include little fake Italian silk neck scarves (polyester). We know we can't afford House of Testoni alligator loafers for them, but what it we required them to wear the boots they've already got without socks? Wouldn't that look sort of yachty? Don't you think people who came here and saw that would think we were rich?

We must go very cautiously on the female uniform, because we won't want to appear sexist, but what about something darling along the line of a small rabbit-fur stole dyed to look like mink, around the neck and down the back?

We know we can't afford real Louboutin shoes for them, but do you think if we tossed Louboutin a couple mil', they'd let us paint the bottoms of the lady cops' boots red so people would think they were Louboutin cop boots? Wealthy and sophisticated visitors from Europe would come here and say, "Oh my gaaaawd, look, the lady Dallas cops are wearing Louboutin." Would that not finally put Dallas on the map as an international city?

Yes, to pay for these measures sadly we might indeed have to forgo more basic services like fixing potholes, restoring library hours and putting new roofs on our leaky firehouses, but here in the City of Salesmanship we know that those things are not as important as first impressions.

The city of Knoxville has invested major money, time and effort in a riverfront wilderness area incorporating historic venues and natural areas along the Tennessee river.

But that's because Knoxville is proud of the Tennessee River and proud of itself. As we all know, Park Cities Dallas is ashamed of the Trinity River and ashamed of itself. So we go for bling.

Wow. Forking over yet another seven million to Calatrava for a bridge that is not a bridge. It really says it all, does it not? Angela Hunt and Scott Griggs were the two votes against it on the council. We should all keep that information in a file somewhere so we'll have somebody to call when we get out of bling rehab.


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40 comments
director21
director21

Wait a minute here! Are you saying we just spent $7 Million to buy lipstick for City Manager Mary Suhm?


OUTRAGEOUS!

deltacity
deltacity

Calatrava is brilliant. A con-artist of the highest order, up there with Jerry Jones.  Calatrava rips off the St. Louis Gateway Arch, slims it down, then mails it in from Houston. He obviously put a lot more thinking into the second bridge's design. This time there are TWO white arches. 

Somehow, these complex designs go millions over budget with no outcry. Guess the tea-party is busy.   

joedell.at
joedell.at

there are other places in the world where people enjoy full freedom, they don't have to defend it with an ak47 assault rifle everyday. A place where there're not school shootings.

30 day payed vacation. fair enough!

Universal health care for all.

A democrat would become a republican in just a second..interested?

come to europe

we can help


www.emigrarjuntos.com


drtz
drtz

Why don't we just build the new bridge with some big-ass concrete art deco pillars on it or something.  It'd be more unique, more true to Dallas, and a heck of a lot less expensive.

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

I like it - but then I'm a native Dallasite who lives in Dallas and is proud of my hometown. We do things in a big way.

SteveH6
SteveH6

....more construction, more construction...AND MORE construction......how many more years do we have to go? 10, 20 years???!!  it'll lead to better things down the road, no pun intended, but does it really?

baker24
baker24

Ya know, Ft Worth is doing a new bridge over the Trinity on 7th Street and they are putting FOUR arches on that sucker, all in cast concrete. All the pizzazz and cheap too. 'Course, they're a bit smaller than Senor Calatrava is gonna do for Dallas, but it's the thought that counts.....

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

More money needs to be spent on shelters for the homeless.

WylieH
WylieH

I know I'm going to sound like a bit of a broken record, but we still can't get even basic things like sidewalks, pedestrian crossings, pavement markings, etc. in many parts of the City.


ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

Jim, Dallas is an internationally known city ... just not for the reasons that the Park Cities wants ...

CalB
CalB

I don't understand the need for a new bridge. More parks, rivering the Trinity, bike lanes, development of downtown, Farmer's Market, street cars that actually go to places people want to go, DART going places people actually want to go...a new fucking bridge?


Who's benefiting from this?

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

I, for one, look forward to the $50M zip-line that we will be getting in the third installment.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

I would have never thought I read Shutze and see  louboutin written.  Wowza.  We need a stinking new bridge, that POS is about to fall into the trinity as it is, but dont we need a $100m bridge, hell no.  And oh lord the traffic, I would love to see the traffic plan for this.  

heart_and_soul
heart_and_soul

@drtz  

Yeah. As long as it is Big-ass and you can see it from McKinney what the difference.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@heart_and_soul c'mon now, the bridge is a work of art of a famous architect.   Thats what makes it world class and why they can use the art budget towards this LOL.  Im sure they are going to import Italian welders again too, to weld the special italian steel

heart_and_soul
heart_and_soul

@Lakewooder  

Right. We don't just put lipstick on a pig in Dallas. We give it big blond hair and paint the bottom of its feet red. Right?

P1Gunter
P1Gunter

@CalB While I generally share your sentiment, the issue is that the bridge is structurally unstable and bordering on collapse. It has to be replaced lest we replicate what happened in Minnesota a few years back.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@CalB umm this bridge is needed bc the current 30 bridge cant pass a state inspection.  chunks of this bridge are falling into the trinity daily, it just doesnt need to be a calatrava  fake bridge

heart_and_soul
heart_and_soul

@ScottsMerkin @heart_and_soul  

Welding? Nah we are going to "value engineer" that too. We will be importing Italian super glue experts.  Apparently they know how to put two pieces of plastic together with the stuff without gluing their hand in there.

dallasdrilling.wordpress.com
dallasdrilling.wordpress.com

@ScottsMerkin They could build a duplicate of the Hampton/Inwood bridge that very few people seem to know about. It's only a year old, very simple, no bells and whistles, but stately. It's going to age well, and not contrived. No need to orgasm while driving over a bridge, and the cost I heard was $24 million.

CalB
CalB

@ScottsMerkin Hi, oh yes. I suppose I didn't completely convey it all. But yea, why indeed must it be swanky bridge; how about a nice, clean utilitarian while still modern bridge?

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@oakclifftownie like where the fuck are the 50k cars gonna go that drive into downtown everyday while this shit is going.  my commute will blow, looks like 5 am drives in are gonna be the way to go

joearpaio
joearpaio

@scottindallas @rubbercow Oh, scottindallas.  All this talk of international artistic greatness and you must drag the discussion through the gutter.   Not very cosmopolitan, Scooter.

rubbercow
rubbercow

@darrd2010 @ScottsMerkin I am lucky enough to have a medical condition which causes me to orgasm whilst crossing bridges - any old bridge will do.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@darrd2010 I agree but he is a little busy talking to the council today with the great Belo man dechard

dallasdrilling.wordpress.com
dallasdrilling.wordpress.com

I think that Jim should ask 'the honorable' Mary Suhm that very question. They are friends so I'm sure there won't be any problems in getting an answer.


ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@darrd2010 I was reading an article that all of Calatravas bridges have over run their budget but what I gleaned from it was, why is Dallas paying so much more for its Calatrava bridges compared to the rest of the world.  I think the most expensive I saw was $70 million

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

@Lakewooder Oh im ready for the new bridge.  My teeth chatter in my car daily as i drive over one of the expansion joints or one of the many holes left by shitty blacktop fill

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

@ScottsMerkin

I sympathize with your dilemma but you cannot expect me to continue driving my elegant Corniche across that dreadful old bridge. Buck up old chap.

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