Your Unfair Park Election Day Headquarters

obama romney.jpg
One will get to live in a sweet crib doing whatever he wants. The other will be president.
Here at Unfair Park, we thought long and hard about how to cover the election. Should we devote our vast resources to covering the polls, putting our fingers to the pulse of the electorate? Perhaps we could relay impressionistic dispatches as political watchers reacted to the incoming election results. Or maybe we'd sit back and offer reasoned, insightful commentary on the race and what it means for the future of the country. It's a uniquely consequential election, after all, one that offers a defining choice between two different visions for America.

Then we realized the election would be on a Tuesday. Tuesdays are bad for us. And since you guys never listen to us anyway, we'll just open the line so you can parse out the election results and tell us what they mean. Full libtards, certified teabaggers and everyone in the alleged middle are welcome.

We'll jump in from time to time with links and updates about races, both local and national, and to spell out exactly why you're wrong. For now, feel free to air your thoughts and make your prediction: Will Romney win, or is this the end of civilization? OR IS IT BOTH?


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67 comments
BigBill
BigBill

Republicans should cooperate with Obama because it is Americans who are suffering. The passage of the jobs bills are needed to put Americans back to work. It should be a gift for the holidays that would allow Amercans to enjoy the holidays and do some shopping for their families http://thechno.notlong.com

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Wheres Albert?

 

Must still be tending to a bad case of the vapors on his fainting couch.

gollyrojer
gollyrojer

My congratulations to planet Earth on having narrowly escaped having the environmental anarchist at the reins of power. I'm much happier about having Romney not in, than I am about having Obama in.  I said to my girlfriend, "Honey, we did it. We elected the lesser of two evils."

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

Maybe the very best thing that might come of this election is that Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump will finally fade into the conservative woodwork where they belong and STAY there.

 

If I never hear that whiny, wheezy voice of Gingrich's again, it'll be too soon. I'm not holding out much hope that Trump will vanish, though.

observist
observist topcommenter

I want to hear more of Phelps' explanation of how all the polls are biased towards Democrats and how Nate Silver has been discredited.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

"No! No! No! It's not over! It can't be!" --Karl Rove, last night, after FOX declared Obama the winner.

Vndallas
Vndallas

The Republican party will not survive if it continues to be the "white people party" or the  "angry white man party". This country is changing rapidly and their party is getting smaller and smaller. Obama captured 60% of the young vote!!  Repubs..your party is dying out.

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

And now for the Monday morning quarterbacking, recriminations, accusations, whining and moaning.  All they are talking about is how the campaigns were run not about issues or ideas.   Has our prospect of fixing the looming massive problems improved?

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

what's round on the end, hi in the middle? every election

monstruss
monstruss

The real story of this election is WHERE ARE THE "I VOTED" STICKERS???

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

I guess Rove's minions hacked the UP servers?

Glad you've overcome the shenanigans.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

Holder's Black Panther goons are back. Philly is safe from suppression.

TurdFerguson
TurdFerguson

Want to hear something really depressing?  Presidential Campaign 2016 begins tomorrow.

audrey
audrey

There's an election?

joe.tone
joe.tone moderator

I really like the bipartisan exasperation of @Sotiredofitall and @sparker . That's what I was hoping for here: one-size-fits-all depression.

 

 

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

Did you see the 20/20 interview Sunday with Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell?  Doesn't matter who wins, with these two old shits running the show we're screwed.

sparker
sparker

Overall, the whole political process in our country has left me pretty much disenchanted with it all. But I do hope that we have crossed something of an enlightened bridge with this election. To me, there hasn't been as much visceral, smearing, negative and ugly rhetoric and commentary by the candidates and their larger parties. I'm an Independent for the most part, it was typically Republicans doing it, then Democrats looking like idiots either shying away or attempting the same.

 

I think having a Mormon guy and a black man with Hussein and Obama in this name is great for our country. Regardless of how bat-shit crazy Mormonism is as a "religion", it still really shouldn't matter. Catholic, atheist, Morman, gay, straight, thrice divorced; that stuff shouldn't really matter. And I don't really care.

 

Instead, I think we've started to view the candidates as candidates. Thus, hopefully moving us past silly, asinine social, moral and personal issues that really have zero to do with running a country. We're so obsessed with the economy, taxes, mortgages, credit, etc., then why do people still want to bicker or fight about religion, sex, marriage?

 

McCain was always seen as a rather moderate Republican with friends on both sides of the fence. But that 2008 campaign just turned gross, with the aide of Palin. The whole thing was a joke and tarnished his legacy and reputation. I couldn't believe how ugly he got. Romney, hasn't done that. Maybe he's too Mormon or too nice, idk. But the fact that he steered-away from that says a lot (hopefully) about our future and future elections.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

All I know is that it will be the end of the world tomorrow.  All that I have heard over the past week is that if Obama wins America as we know it will collapse and that if Romney wins the 1%'ers will be dining on caviar, bon-bons and cocktails while the rest of us are scavenging the landfills looking for food.

 

In the meantime, Aunt Sadie is stuck in the ditch unable to call for help while Billy and Jeff are on their way to town for supplies ...

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

There's a large turnout of bused-in Somalis in Ohio, some apparently are citizens.

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

Any news on the U.N. invasion of the polls?

Montemalone
Montemalone topcommenter

If I wake up tomorrow and the world is over, do I still have to clean the litterbox?

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

 @Vndallas Just because I am white, angry and a man does not make me a member of the angry white man party ... as far as I am concerned the Demopublicans or the Republicrats don't share my ideals or desires in government.

 

Look to the percentage turnout and I am willing to bet real money that less than 35% of registered voters actually cast a ballot.  What exactly does that say?

 

There will be no change in our government as long as the same group of idiots keep getting reelected.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

 @audrey you hadnt heard, unless you were watching some asian news station, then you might heard there was an erection

sparker
sparker

 @joe.tone  @Sotiredofitall I have no grand illusions about bipartisanship. Nor do I really care about it in particular. I suppose it's healthy to be a bit of both.

 

One day, I'm just hoping we can move past the heathenistic (is that a word?) negativity and morality plays. It will be more constructive.

ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul
ThePosterFormerlyKnownasPaul topcommenter

 @Sotiredofitall It's pretty much the same for Texas ... it really doesn't matter who the governor is ... what really matters is who is the Speaker of the House and who is the Lt. governor ...

Mervis
Mervis

@sparker We received basically no commercials from the big two as this state is decided. The other states had some pretty ugly stuff going on.

observist
observist topcommenter

 @albert.finney000 Ohio, Iowa...  blue states with 4-letter names - who can tell 'em apart anyway?

Anna_Merlan
Anna_Merlan

 @Montemalone Yes, actually. I talked to Thomas Rymer, a spokesperson for the OSCE (the invading European hordes, who aren't actually directly affiliated with the U.N.) Rymer says: "There are currently two long-term observers in Texas, and they will be observing the entire election process there, up to and immediately following election day.The observation of voting processes is based on a methodology that ODIHR has used in the observation of more than 250 elections across the OSCE region. Observers look at a number of issues in polling stations, including the way that opening procedures, the handling and reconciling the number of ballots available, the maintenance of secrecy of the vote, and other considerations are in line with international standards, as well as compliance with domestic legislation on polling station and voting procedures.While the way in which polling station officials follow procedures in the verification of the identities of voters, as the list of issues mentioned above suggests, the observers do not focus specifically on any one issue."

 

I asked him what he would do if Greg Abbott arrested the observers. He didn't get back to me on that.  

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @albert.finney000 no, it's not very interesting.  That is a pathetic argument.  I heard Michael Medved whining about that yesterday, that was a break from his "Obama's panicking" theme over the last fortnight.

observist
observist topcommenter

 @albert.finney000 Then we should all be watching out for angry, vengeful Republicans when their Romney/Ryan plan to redistribute yet more wealth from the bottom 99% to the top 1% is foiled!

Mervis
Mervis

@NewsDog December 21st.

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @NewsDog  @Mervis it's the Winter Solstice that makes it the 21st.  The end of the year and the reason for Christmas being in December.

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