Traitors in Our Midst

Categories: Buzz

killerklowns.jpg
Everyone was having fun until someone lost a nation.
Lower down on this blog, you'll find Observer staffers having a little fun at the expense of all those people -- 97,463* as Buzz writes this -- who signed a petition on a White House website calling for the federal government to allow Texas to "peacefully" secede from the union. The website has tons of similar petitions purporting to represent other states, but Texas' has by far the most online "signatures."

See also:
- A Few Questions Before Texas Secedes

Ha-ha. Very droll. Anti-Obama folks want to secede. What a bunch of clowns.

Stop right there, pard, and think about that. Clowns. The kids here in the office think this is funny. Yours truly, older and wiser, thinks it's about time for the shitting of the pants.

Why? It's an undisputed fact that clowns are the closest thing to a living embodiment of evil. They depress adults. They frighten children. They are a cornerstone of the direct-to-DVD horror genre. But because they're clowns, nobody takes them seriously until they're ripping the guts out of some poor starlet.

America is that metaphorical starlet, my friend. No, not the yogurt poop woman. The other one. The slutty one.

No, not ... look, just shut up and step through the looking glass.

Fact: A mantra of the far right is "America: Love it or leave it."

Fact: These people want to leave America, so by their own calculus they DON'T LOVE IT.

Fact: The opposite of love is hate.

Ipso facto: Deep in the heart of this state there lives a huge cadre of disloyal America-haters, heavily armed -- this is Texas, that's a given -- and led by radicals named Perry and Abbott.

Still laughin'? You poor pitiable fool. Nobody believes in fifth columnists until the Wehrmacht is rolling down the street. Nobody ever stops and asks, "Hey, why is that clown carrying an ax?"

That's the trouble with today's progressive, limp-wristed, diverse America. Back when white, somewhat straight men ruled the world as is proper, America knew how to handle these threats. A few Hollywood types and assorted fellow travelers sign some petitions and join some pinko marches? Purge 'em. Black folks want to sit at your lunch counter? Tell J. Edgar to slip into something less comfortable and get on the damn stick.

Today? We laugh as the rough equivalent of four or five armed divisions of America haters openly foment national dissolution.

Look, we're not saying we need to bring back the House Un-American Activities Committee. We already have a huge, secretive Homeland Security apparatus, warrantless wiretaps, extrajudicial imprisonment and state-sanctioned assassination. All we need to do now is to take this threat seriously.

Surely there's room in Guantanamo.

*Granted, it's possible that the Texas secession petition is also being signed by people in other states who both love America and want to see Texas depart the union. Still, it's a safe bet no more than half -- 60 percent tops -- of the signatures come from those Yankee smartasses.


My Voice Nation Help
125 comments
LaneKetchum
LaneKetchum

The only reason we get 'old white guy rants'

is their inadequacy to 'fill their pants.'

smartypants
smartypants

Did we forget one reason why Texas joined the union is because THEY WERE BROKE (Texas) and the U.S. agreed to assume all of their (Texas) debt? I am just curious.

 

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

I think the secession sessions have finally brought LiveFyre to it's virtual knees.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

Thank you Scotty. I am new to this forum. Don't act like a troll by stirring things up with a big stick and you won't be accused of it. Are all you people on here from Texas? I'm. In Virginia and probably won't get this group again.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

Thank you Scotty. I am new to this forum.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

No Scotty I don't live in London but this Grandmother lives with 3 generations of family who work and all go to college. Schedules are ridiculous

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

Yes Scotty, you were being a little childish. Like a troll who likes to stir it with a night stick.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

Ok. The citizens cannot seceed without the government of TX asking the government of American. Therefore, I think there is no danger of TX going anywhere. Now, the tr ue issue is that a bunch of immature nit wits didn't get the President they wanted. That's too bad, majority rules. The Dems put up with Bush for 8 years and Obama needs equal time to repair the damage. Get real and grow up! America is not a game and poor sportsmanship won't change anything. A Texan messed it up so a Texan should help pay for repairs. None of us got here alone and we should go toward together. Everyone is needed in times of trouble so. Put up, shut up and pitch in. It is only children who run away in fear of the unknown and often unnecessarily.

Mervis
Mervis

@smartypants Don't muddle the new issue with facts sir.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - If you don't get it by now, you never will.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

 @oldladylewis whoa trolling?  you aint been around here much.  I wasnt trolling I promise

PerryMoore
PerryMoore

You mean Mr. LBJ? No, he didn't get us into this mess all by himself. Hell, Ohio and Virginia need to chip in their share to begin the collection, and wasn't there a  President from Arkansas in the mix? The social safety hammock? We didn't build that.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - That's awfully wordy, how about "Submit".

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@albert.finney000 I have to. It's what is keeping me from taking the final 6 credits for my degree

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@PerryMoore you must have the wrong poster. I have not commented on Clinton or Johnson. I don't know what you are talking about. Good night.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@albert.finney000 True. Submit works but standing alone no one knows why to submit. Children need to learn so I taught

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@TheCredibleHulk @albert.finney000 I haven't said any thing about Bill but remember mentioning Hillary. I am studying today and tomorrow for a test that's coming up soon so I won't be responding today. Have fun.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 @oldladylewis "Grow up." was for Albert, and conservatives in general that are collectively wetting their pants over the election of Obama.

 

LiveFyre stinks.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@TurdFerguson 1) you are right. I am not a bad person. I have been sitting here between 8 birds, 2 dogs, 2 grandchildren and a TV and working on a teeny tiny cell phone. So what if I misspelled a word or 2. I can't even read the screen very well since it is 2X2 with very small letters. 2) I'm not talking about 8th grade math but college intermediate algebra. Math is not something I understand easily. However, that said: I may not be a Harvard grad but I do have the benefit of hindsight and I even a blind man can see there are mistakes.made which would lead one to question how intelligent Bush is. His father is smarter than Jr and neither of them were great Presidents. Now I don't think you are a bad person either so, let's just agree to disagree and have a good night.

TurdFerguson
TurdFerguson

 @oldladylewis    Not saying you are a bad person.  But really, don't you see the irony?  One who admittedly is a bad speller and could not pass eighth-grade math questioning the intellect of a Harvard MBA graduate?  Breathtaking.

 

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@albert.finney000 They can do math? From the campaign I'm not sure about Paul Ryan.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@albert.finney000 Well, how do you do? So did I and zip did it twice. The second time on 11/6/12.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - I am independent, even voted for The First Black President.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - Republicans managed to... pass a budget.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@TurdFerguson Ok. There are worse things than being a bad speller. I really suck at math though Will never pass intermediate Algebra

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@albert.finney000 become an independent and speak up

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - All I want is a country with a federalist mindset and adversarial press, so I'm forced to vote Republican.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - President Loner seems to have inherited Nixon's worst qualities

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz - Totalitarian types usually get a rough welcome in America, we're funny that way.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@TurdFerguson Yea, spell checks not too hot nor is the keyboard on itty bitty keyboard. I'm. Not judging, just stating a fact. Going to dinner. Good night

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz @ScottsMerkin Scott needs to grow up and nobody is perfect; not me, not Scott and not Bush nor Obama. We are human and I'm hungry and am going to get something to est. Have a great night Scott

TurdFerguson
TurdFerguson

 @oldladylewis

 It depends upon who is doing the judging.  I assure you that W can spell secede, so you are unfit to judge his intellect.  Thanks for playing.

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@ScottsMerkin @Myrna.Minkoff-Katz @albert.finney000 naive I,n not. Bush needed to be trashed. He is not up to the office of President. Republicans were not governed by him. They did nothing for 12 years. 8 under Bush and 4 under Obama. As a result they got $$ from the government which they did not earn: their salaries. The should either be labelled as thieves or a major part of the 47%. You guys who want to seceed should taken then with you when you go.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

 @Myrna.Minkoff-Katz  @albert.finney000 why wouldnt they, you idiots spent 8 yrs trashing Bush, if you didnt think the day a Dem took the white house it wouldnt be thrown right back you well then....you are a naive libtard LOL

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@Myrna.Minkoff-Katz @albert.finney000 Myrna...You are so right!

oldladylewis
oldladylewis

@albert.finney000. I don't think he was a fascist. I just thought he wasn't very mature or intelligent. Oh, I'm an Independent rather than a Democrat Nixon turned me off to Republicans.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

 @albert.finney000 Wasn't it though?  Especially in light of the fact that the republicans, the day after the 2008 election, pledged to make destroying Obama's presidency their number one priority.

albert.finney000
albert.finney000

@oldladylewis - It was awfully sporting of democrats to graciously "put up " with Bush, considering he was a fascist and all that.

Now Trending

Dallas Concert Tickets

From the Vault

 

Loading...