Sorry, Arboretum, But Two More Months of Chihuly and Schlock-Selling is Not a "Gift"

Categories: Schutze

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Oh, boy. We all get to go see the Chihuly fake flower show at the Dallas Arboretum for free! I just saw the press release.

The Arboretum is throwing open its doors and letting us all in to see the fake flower show as a holiday gift to the City of Dallas from the Arboretum Board of Directors. This is so great. People like me don't get to see really fancy fake flower shows very often. I am throwing some non-alcoholic brewskis and some Polish sausage in the cooler right now, getting ready to head on down there with my boom box and take a gander.

I haven't read the press release all the way through yet, but I'm so excited about getting in for free to see this show, I wanted to start telling you about it right away. I'm kind of reading and writing at the same time. That's how jazzed I am.

The Arboretum is usually so expensive. It's pretty much a one-percenter place or least a
53-percenter. I'm a 47-percenter myself. Me and the freebies. That's how I roll.

But can this really be free? Yeah, yeah, here it is, right at the top of the press release, from the mayor himself, no less: "The citizens of Dallas will now be able to enjoy the Chihuly exhibition throughout the holiday season because of the generous gift from the Board of Directors," Mayor Mike Rawlings said.

Those directors! Those are some great people, giving us a gift like this. I've heard a lot about this Chihuly. It's all flowers made out of melted glass with lights underneath. At night with Halloween music it's probably scary as shit.

I bet for Halloween they'll have zombies. They'd be crazy not to. I wonder if we can take our own folding chairs with cup holders in there?

OK, I'm reading some more here. It says: "Not only are people visiting the exhibition they are taking Chihuly gift items related to the exhibition home with them..."

Oh, man! You get to take the fake flowers home with you? Damn! I better get over there today, like right now, before that whole exhibit gets ripped out of the ground and stuffed in people's backpacks.

Damn, I wonder what you can get for that Chihuly stuff on E-bay? Probably not much. I mean, how long is something like that going to last in your own yard? Plus, you know it's going to attract dogs.

Wait. Uh-oh. Wait. Spoiler alert. It says people are taking the Chihuly items home, "as gift store sales have reached  nearly $1.3 million." So ... they're selling it off. Well, damn. That's different. I better skip to the end here.

Oh, man! You are kidding me! Look at this! This sucks! It says, "Chihuly at the Dallas Arboretum is open 7 days a week from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m excluding Thanksgiving and Christmas day. General admission is $15 for adults, $12 for seniors (65 and over), and $9 for children ages 12 - 3. Children under 2 and members are free."

So you have to pay fifteen bucks for it! How is that a Christmas gift? It's like the board of directors of the Arboretum shows up at my house on Christmas morning, hands me a fake flower with a ribbon on it and then hands me a bill. That's not what I call a gift.

What is it really? Well now it sounds like trying to milk more money out of this show because maybe they had a slow start after the Winfrey Point debacle. Sounds like maybe nobody else wanted to book the Chihuly show for the winter months. Sounds like, who knows?

All I know is that I'm not going to trust a press release that says somebody's giving the city a Christmas present and then at the bottom it says you have to pay fifteen bucks for it. That's more like the Christmas special at Elbon's Previously Owned Pickup Sales. Thanks for nuthin'.

Damn. Now I've got to dump the ice out of my cooler and put away my folding love seat with ice-compartment cup holders. I still think they should do zombies. Last time I was there I thought that's what they were doing, but it turned out to be a big crowd from the Park Cities. Sure. Fifteen bucks is nothing to them.

Children under 2 are free, though. That's not too bad, as long as you can drop them off.


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29 comments
jonathanburtdfw
jonathanburtdfw

@Dallas_Observer Followed you guys for local stories and concert updates. Been inundated with stupid #schutze shit. Really? Later DO.

roo_ster
roo_ster

Definitely not 1%-er Park Cities denizen here, yet we manage to have a ~$110 membership at the Arboretum, a relic of when my wife wanted some place to take the tykes for a romp.

 

I saw the glass flowers and was overcome with meh.  I like the real deal, personally.  I can't see getting all wound around the axle about them.

TexOHara
TexOHara

The link to the press release does not work.  Maybe it was pulled?

 

At least people can see the Chihuly exhibit while the weather is nice.

Ryly
Ryly

Usually I agree with all your rants, but this one's a bit off the mark. Having Chihuly's art in our Arboretum has been wonderful, for the arboretum, for Dallas, and for anyone who's been able to view it. And having the display extended is even more fabulous! Yes, it costs to attend, but it's not beyond the reach of most of us, especially with the offers they've been running. The arboretum grounds are truly lovely, and Chihuly's glass sculptures are awesome. This is news that made me very happy!

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

Webster's New College Edition. "Gift: something that is bestowed voluntarily and without compensation; a present." 

"Arrogant: overly convinced of one's own importance, overbearingly proud, haughty."

"Arse: Chiefly British, variant of ass (buttocks)."

anon
anon

Jim-

In what world does a membership that costs $109 per year constitute something for rich people? The "47%" could buy multiple family memberships for what they pay to attend a Cowboys game (and yes, many of them do find a way to scrape together the money for a ticket or two). I know you are far too cool to be seen at Jerryworld, so I'm not talking about you specifically. But you are also not a member of the 47% - you just think because you live around a bunch of rich people on Swiss Ave that you are. 

everlastingphelps
everlastingphelps topcommenter

Jim loves art, unless the Arboretum is involved with it, and then it's crap.  

Sotiredofitall
Sotiredofitall topcommenter

"Tempest in a teapot" an idiom meaning a small event that has been exaggerated out of proportion. 

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Geez, Schutze, all you need now is an obsession with sherry and opera and I'd swear you were trying to be a real-life Dallas version of Frasier Crane.

Fb2012
Fb2012

Once people realize how terrible the parking is they will reject this "gift." I wrote to complain when my wife and I could not attend a luncheon at the Arboretum because of the horrific parking situation there. Never received a response. They should not be allowed to host any other functions at the Arboretum while this show is going on.   

PrestonHoller
PrestonHoller

Jim:  You are getting your panties in a wad because the City's press release used the word "gift" and you interpret the word "gift" to mean "a freebie for Schutze"?  Seriously dude.  You need to get a grip on life.  Out of all the other things going on in the city, you twist off on THIS?

 

Why don't you just admit it.  You really aren't angry at all about the wording in this press release.  Instead, you've been sitting around with an inferiority complex about the 1%'ers, the 53%'ers, the Parkies, etc.  You couldn't come up with any valid topic to go off on them about.  But as luck wuld have it, this press release involved the Arboretum.  Since that sounds like a place 1%'ers might hang out, it allowed you to launch into some inane and invalid negative comments about Parkies.

 

Please tell me that the DO doesn't actually pay you for this type of drivel.

PerryMoore
PerryMoore

What a sick relationship. While you are busy hating the folks in the Park Cities, they are busy not caring about you.

anon
anon

 @JimSX so then really the only question becomes how much they are paying to Chihuly for the extended use of his art, and how much money is at risk? whether you like the Arboretum or Chihuly is immaterial. The Arboretum is very likely incurring a large up front cost to offer Dallas residents an extended chance to see an art installment that is overwhelmingly popular. Realistically, it expects attendance and gift shop sales to cover that cost, but it's probably not a guarantee. The Arboretum is therefore providing an option to Dallas-area residents without compensation. Exercising that option costs money, like all things in life do. Is the wording poor, and perhaps bordering on arrogant? Yes. Is it technically correct under your strict definition of the word gift? Yes, it is. But that doesn't change the fact that you've whipped two words carelessly included in a press release into a blog post that somehow turns into a rant about class warfare.

Daniel
Daniel

 @everlastingphelps No, he doesn't. He thinks all the noblest gestures of Western Civilization were poofy trifles to flatter the vanity of the finger-bowls-and-ascots set. And any art historian would tell him, point blank: Well, no shit, Jim.  

MattL11
MattL11

 @Fb2012  They need to build a new parking lot. I hear there's a big field near there, right on the lake, in fact, that they could pave and use for overflow parking. 

Honeybee
Honeybee

 @PrestonHoller I'm with Jim on this.  You have to call them (the pr hacks, the spin-meisters, the corrupt) out on their bs when you see it or they will be emboldened to venture into outright lying.  Then when we're desensitized to the lying, they'll move on to fraud. 

 

Nobody is being given anything by the Arboretum Board of Directors and I'm glad JIm is making that clear.

 

Did it ever occur to you that this fake "gift" could merely be a precursor to the ABD asking for something or taking something away from citizens--like a big plot of land on the lake that they want to use for a parking lot?

 

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @PerryMoore No, no, Perry, it's way worse than that. No matter how much I try to ward them off, the Parkies won't stop loving me, man.  No matter what I do. I feel like the girl in high school trying to shake a boring boyfriend by acting bad every way I can think of. It just makes them love me more. The invitations won't stop. They send couriers and shove them under my door while I hide in the back.  Please, Ann Landers, tell me how to make them hate me. Signed, Desperate.

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @anon MMmm. Close. But no cigar. Take cigars. If I think you would relish a particular brand of Cuban cigar, and I risk all kinds of money and trouble to stock them, and it turns out that you do relish them and you do want to buy them from me, do you get credit for altruism? I think not.

PrestonHoller
PrestonHoller

 @Honeybee  Honeybee, I usually agree with you on most things.  Unfortunately, you have tasted a bit too much of the Schutze Koolaid on this one.  City Hall may be full of "pr hack, spin meisters, [and] the corrupt."  However, the Arboretum is in the artsy-fartsy category of municipal do-gooding.  Like the Zoo, the DMA, etc., the altruistic BS'ers come out.  People with gobs of excess money and excess time what to "give" to the City in the form of artsy crap with the hope of getting a picture of themselves at some grand opening gala in the local society paper.  Therefore, they "generous donate" to some City what-not.  In turn, some local potentate makes some speech about the wonderful "gift" that was made.  Sometimes, these are truly "gifts" in the sense that they are free.  Sometimes they are works of "art" at some display at, say, the DMA which, like the Arboretum, charges a fee to see.

 

Yes, of course, these really are "gifts" from a hypertechnical standpoint.  But they are providing something to the citizens that isn't otherwise typically available.  If no one is being forced to purchase a ticket, who really cares.

 

But just as you claim we need to call out the "pr hacks, spin meisters, [and] the corrupt" at City Hall, we also must call out the stupid, vapid, idiotic rantings of a Left Wing Nut "journalist" who takes unnecessary swipes at Parkies, 1%'ers, and 53%'ers.  There are many valid criticisms that can be leveled at the Parkies et al.  But getting your panties in wad because the Mayor imprecisely used the word "gift" with respect to this artsy exhibit isn't one of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

 @JimSX  @PerryMoore I would refer you to your own set of definitions posted up above.  The second one applies here, I think.

PerryMoore
PerryMoore

Take your Bible with you to the next party.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

 @JimSX  @anon I think a closer analogy would be if you stocked the cigars and told us we could have a free Cuban cigar, as long as we paid the $15 cover charge to get in your store.  And, as long as we're there in the store, would we care to buy Cuban cigar accessories, such as Cuban cigar lighters, Cuban cigar clippers, and a genuine imitation Scarface Cuban cigar Rolex.

EdD.
EdD.

 @JimSX  @anon  Going to see "Here Comes the Boom" at the AMC Valley View tonight would cost $10 but a full day at the Arboretum is just $15? I'm not sure we're up in "only rich people" territory here.

anon
anon

 @JimSX no, calling the Arboretum a 1-percenter place, or otherwise implying that it is out of the reach of the overwhelming majority of Dallas-ites is though.

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @anon Making fun of rich people is class warfare now?

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