The Wall Street Journal Seems to Think Bucee's, Home of the Beaver Nugget, Has Jumped the Shark

The Wall Street Journal Seems to Think Bucee's, Home of the Beaver Nugget, Has Jumped the Shark

By Eric Nicholson Fri., Sep. 14 2012 at 12:30 PM

If you've driven south on I-35 -- or if you've ever turned onto Lawther from Northwest Highway -- you've seen the Bucee's billboards. The ones with the buck-toothed beaver in a red cap hawking some mysterious concoction called beaver nuggets. It's an obnoxious marketing campaign, but it gets your attention. Who doesn't want to know what a beaver nugget is? ( It's sweet, crunchy snack food most closely resembling, if memory serves, Kellogg's Corn Pops.)

The convenience store chain now has the attention of the Wall Street Journal, which yesterday took a bemused look at the convenience store chain.

"Everything is bigger in Texas," the Journal begins in groan-inducing fashion, "including the bountiful bathrooms at Buc-ee's, a chain of excessively large roadside rest stops."

The focus of the article is Buc-ee's new outlet in New Braunfels, which the paper describes as "a Circle K designed by Willy Wonka." At 67,000 square feet, it's billed as the world's largest convenience store. It has 60 gas pumps, 20 soda dispensers, 31 cash registers, 23 flavors of fudge, and aisles devoted entirely to popcorn and beef jerky.

"The pièce de résistance: 84 gleaming toilets, each with its own dispenser of hand sanitizer and shined at all hours by a small army of attendants," the article continues.

But the real question is whether Buc-ee's is too big? The piece strains to be objective, but the paper, based in a city that just outlawed the type of gallon-size soft drinks Buc-ee's patrons slurp down, clearly thinks the answer is yes.

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TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

1 Like

After having driven to St. Louis and back this weekend via 69/75 and I-44, I can honestly say that there can NEVER be enough gleaming toilets and hand sanitizer.

Ever.

primi_timpano topcommenter

@TheCredibleHulk Excellent observation. Starbucks are usually dependable.

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

there is a buc-cee's billboard on division/lancaster just past Eastchase in arlington/ft worth

G_David

I've never seen a sign on 35, they must be relatively new. But you see one about every 3 minutes between here and Houston (on 45).

primi_timpano topcommenter

@G_David It's at Madisonville.

ScottsMerkin topcommenter

If I want to chug a gallon of soda, who cares. NY needs to shut the fuck up and shove new jersey up its ass.

I may just have drive on down to try some beaver nuggets

ShoddyFreude

So when is Bucee's world-class convenience store coming to world-class Dallas?

99centIceBrutha

2 Like

@ShoddyFreude I hope never. They are a Texas gulf coast institution. Bringing the chain to Dallas can only screw the company up trying to cater to the cocaine and boob-job clientele.

ChrisYu topcommenter

4 Like

all those toilets flushed at the same time could shut down the Schlitterbahn.

TracyGamble

.@Dallas_Observer I think that if @wsj had regular need to drive the #texas Triangle, they'd also worship at the Church of Buc-ee's.

CFHeather

@dallas_observer Bucees RULES

Scruffygeist topcommenter

6 Like

You know what's jumped the shark? That stupid-ass "everything is bigger in Texas" line.

And "Texans love their trucks" too, for good measure.

primi_timpano topcommenter

@Scruffygeist . Definitely with you on the trucks and giant cars. Growing up in San Antonio nearly every truck owner used the truck as a truck, not as simply a "mine's bigger" fashion statement.

gmit

@primi_timpano @Scruffygeist Are you sure you just don't live in a better neighborhood now, sorry I already know the answer to that, of course you do.

Go to any working class community and most of the trucks are used for work, because those people work, most of us Dallas pussies work in the AC, but we still like to pretend we work, so we load up our fake trucks with hobby equipment and that does the trick

TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@Scruffygeist Truck -Nutz?

Double-O-Joe

1 Like

@Scruffygeist

"They say that everything is bigger in Texas. And while it is true that the cats are the size of dogs, and the dogs are the size of European cars; Texans themselves are normal-sized, with normal-sized hopes and dreams, who just happen to drive cars that are the size of twenty-five European cars."

-- John Hodgman

RTGolden

4 Like

@Scruffygeist How about the phrase 'jumped the shark' itself?

Scruffygeist topcommenter

@RTGolden Especially since the website got horribly pillaged and destroyed, yes.

Daniel

10 Like

@Scruffygeist "Everything's smaller in Rhode Island, including the cramped powder rooms at Youse-Guys, a chain of excessively small clam shacks that resemble seafood restaurants designed by Ruth Buzzi's midget sister.

"The pièce de résistance: a single lonesome shitter, employed sheepishly by both genders and awaited upon by a small army of impatient patrons desperate to make a little clam cake of their own."