Cowboys-Giants: Some Thoughts on Another Opening Night Beatd HOLY CRAP THEY WON!

Categories: Sports

witten.jpg
DallasCowboys.com
Jason Witten. Occupation: Man.
What a win for the good guys. The Bi-Ringed Mouth Breather from the Bayou finally got his comeuppance, Tony Romo executed like a champ when it mattered, DeMarco Murray was DeMarco Murray, and the defense held up its end of the bargain by keeping the Giants' offense at bay much of the game. Now let's go to the tape for a few observations and some postgame trophies.

Premature Emasculation: If you were lucky enough to catch the pregame, you were treated to the completely relevant sounds of No Doubt, replete with Gwen Stefani and her trademark Scottish mudflap. How does NBC decide the musicians for their Sunday Night Football broadcast? By locking a group of mid-20s girls in a room with a case of Boones Farm and scented candles? NBC has now rolled through the following acts during pregame/opening: Pink, Faith Hill, and now the aforementioned No Doubt. I'd rather listen to "5-Star Combo" on repeat than suffer that cochlear pummeling.

Jason Witten, PHD (Pretty Hardass Dude): I would hate to be the person forced to deliver a medical opinion to Jason Witten. I bet that before they told Jason about his status, the doctors drew straws to see who'd have to break the news and be subsequently thrown through a window.

The D Rizes Like The Fenix: Let me tell you why this Cowboys defense has me knee jerking like a freshly-branded Clydesdale: The fact that Demarcus Ware had two sacks on top of living in and around Eli Manning's general area. The fact that Bruce Carter looks like the very legit yin to Sean Lee's yang. The fact that Brandon Carr flung his arm off of Domenik Hixon late in the game with such disdain, you'd think he's been suiting up for the star-clad lads for a decade. The fact that Rob Ryan is Kenny Powers in about 15 years.

There is still plenty of work to do (getting bailed out by Victor Cruz helped), but that was a pleasant surprise.


Round 1 of Manning vs. Romo; Romo Wins:
Aside from a hurried pass directly into coverage for a pick, Romo owned Manning in every statistical category. With a passer rating of 129.5 (a perfect rating is 158.3), Romo played the Giants D like a cheap xylophone. First and 30? Let me go ahead and throw a Skywalker to Miles Austin for a touchdown. Even though the offensive line tried to shoot the wheels off drives one penalty at a time, Romo fought through and found the open receivers. He even flashed some of those deceptive wheels on a couple of keepers. I hope he did something much more unsavory than sign the wall of the locker room.

And now let's dish out a few awards:

Fill-In of the Millenium: Ryan Cook. Remember how well Cook played during the preseason? Of course you don't; he was playing for the Dolphins until last Thursday. He received his playbook on Friday, which was co-authored by Jason Garrett and Merriam-Webster. Less than a week later, he's pressed into duty on the second offensive series after Phil Costa's gimpy back started acting up again. I'd be shocked if he even knows the names of the rest of the lineman. The fact that Romo didn't get annihilated by that insane Giants front seven is a miracle.

Guy Who's Already Off The Fantasy Waiver Wire As You Read This: Kevin Ogletree. After three seasons of zero touchdown football, Ogletree picked a nice time to ramp up his fantasy production. With a beefy 114 yards and two scores, Dallas' Ochocinco led all receivers in sheer stats. It wasn't just the numbers though, it was the situations. Several of Ogletree's grabs came on third down early when the Cowboys' ground game was still finding it's rhythm. In case you were wondering, his contract is up after this season, so expect the Jags to break out the spotted checkbook to give KO his payday this summer.

Best Special Effects: NBC's CGI crew for their shockingly life-like piece, "Bob Costas." There's no way that is Bob Costas up there doing the pregame interviews. That soft, cherubic face and finely manicured mop must be 70 years old by now. I'm convinced instead that it's Andy Serkis in a body suit with motion capture balls dotting his face like Hellraiser, voiced by Bob Costas from inside an iron lung.

The dark clouds that have sat over Jerry World have dissipated for one week. It'll be interesting to see if the Cowboys can make it a streak up in Raintown next week against the suddenly-chic Seahawks.

Follow @dallas_observer and @j_bitner on twitter.



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30 comments
scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

Demarco Murray is an amazing runner, his style reminds me of Barry Sanders'...personality.  No affect, no dance, just hard directional running.

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

My two male Siamese had a nasty fight after the game.  Even Big Kitty hoisted herself up and lumbered over to see what the commotion was all about.

kergo1spaceship
kergo1spaceship

Dear Richie,

    With the exception of the penalties; this game was a masterpiece!

Quintin Walls
Quintin Walls

Its still so early in the season for planning parades...Lol

Quintin Walls
Quintin Walls

Its still so early in the season for planning parades...Lol

Roman Belmarez
Roman Belmarez

The o line sucks but maybe they'll gel after a few games. The improvements to the secondary definitely helped...

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

Did anyone actually like the Queen Latifah made-for-KVIL anthem?

 

The Faith Hill promo for this year's version of the song (make that go away, for the love of Vince Lombardi), was awful. Hearing the Cowboys punter was left-footed every time he hit the field was unnecessary. I'm left-footed. How does that make a difference?

 

If DeMarco Murray was DeMarco Murray he would've left the game early with an injury. Dude is still more potential than skins. But he was very impressive last night. Dez accidentally tackling him was funny.

 

Witten is getting too much credit for being tough. Yes, I said it. Of course he wanted to play. I doubt three weeks later your spleen hurts that much. He also sounds alot like Rube from Major League 2. Playing with a broken jaw was tough. This time it was just tired of not playing.

 

Why is Felix Jones still on this team again? Oh, right. He's a Razorback.

 

Let the overhyping of this team begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fan2
Fan2

"....and the defense held up its end of the bargain by keeping the Giants' pass rush at bay much of the game."

 

Last time I checked the defense does not affect the pass rush very much.

oakclifftownie
oakclifftownie

and the defense held up its end of the bargain by keeping the Giants' pass rush at bay much of the game.

 

HUH ?

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

cornerbacks looked like they were having fun. wow.

EdD.
EdD.

Shockingly, Bob Costas is just 60 years old. He was all of 22 when he started as the play-by-play announcer for the ABA's Spirits of St. Louis.

Jon Jackson
Jon Jackson

I'll be damned...we beat the Champions on their home turf.

TheListener
TheListener

um. are you ten years old? both mariah carey and no doubt have new albums coming out. it's called promotions, you dope.

Joshstruckoutagain
Joshstruckoutagain

Defense looked strong to quite strong, and when you can help Romo out with a smashmouth running game, you can stack some wins on each other..remember It's a process.

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

Nice win, the boys finally backed up jerrys words...for one week at least.  This D is going to be the Cowboys best friend this year.

RillaGirl
RillaGirl

@Dallas_Observer #jerryjones said he was going to kick their....

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

 @Scruffygeist Overhyping? the pretty much stifled the super bowl champs.  Id rather have whats happening this morning than all the fire breathing Romo haters calling in   asking for his head on a pitchfork.  Dudes won a game on the road in NY in Primetime.  They deserve all the credit they get today.  If you didnt notice, Every single national TV guy picked NY

joe.tone
joe.tone moderator

 @oakclifftownie This was an editing error. He wrote offense, I spaced and thought he was talking about the Boys' O-line and changed it to pass rush. Fixed now. Sorry for the confusion.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

 @ScottsMerkin Don't go booking your New Orleans trip yet is my point. Romo did great considering his o-line is as porous as a colander--but can they keep him and Murray from being an indentation in the turf every week?

TheListener
TheListener

 @joe.tone

 perhaps I should rephrase: how do you think this whole television thing works?

ScottsMerkin
ScottsMerkin topcommenter

 @Scruffygeist lest we forget Im a Chiefs fan so no New Orleans booking for me to see the Cowboys, but point taken.  Suffice to say, they should get better every week playing together

MBM-09
MBM-09

 @TheListener  @joe.tone

 Maybe it should work to pick bands that actual football fans would give a rat's ass about.  Mariah Carey?  Hasn't been relevant in 10 years and not many actual football fans give a fuck about her.  No Doubt?  At least they are somewhat catering to the younger crowd, but still does not appeal to football fans (read: male fans).

 

For that matter, cancel the fucking pre-game concerts and just fucking show me football.

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