Breaking the Code in a Nefarious Dem/Feminist Plot to Encourage Something Called "Voting"

Categories: Schutze

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I do not love a good conspiracy theory as much as the next guy. I love a good conspiracy theory way more than the next guy. I know my conspiracy theories. Conspiracy Theories R Me.

For me, the most fun ones, because of the puzzle-solving element, are the riddles wrapped in mysteries inside enigmas, conspiracies in which one plot is nested inside another.

Locally, of course, I can't hold my breath and wait for a plot from a John Le Carre novel. I have to make due with what's available. That's why these last few days I have been amusing myself by trying to solve the Dallas County voter registration conspiracy.

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Maybe we can get Mel Gibson to play Jim in the movie version of this story, if we can talk him down out of his tree. (Do we mean Mel or Jim is in a tree? Yes.)
Local Republicans are accusing local Democrats of engaging in a nefarious conspiracy to encourage young people to vote. The Republicans say they have uncovered a kind of Moscow-rules operation in which local Democrats have been working with a shadow group called, "The League of Women Voters."

Together with this so-called league, the Democrats, according to the Republican conspiracy theory, are deliberately targeting members of a little known sub-population called "public school students." They are encouraging these so-called students to take part in a community-organized, socialist, anti-Colonialist activity called "voting."

This so-called voting is an activity which involves, according to the Republicans, the deliberate casting (hurling?) of what are called "ballots." The bottom-line, the Republicans say, is that this conspiracy of Democrats and women is a clandestine attempt to get people to engage in an activity that knowledgeable sources and insiders describe as "politics."

Dallas County Republican Chairman Wade Emmert told Channel 8 WFAA investigative reporter Brett Shipp earlier this week: "... when you seek out areas that have more intense numbers of one political party over another, like public schools, then clearly you have a political purpose."

Damn it! And with children!

But, wait. This is where Inspector Schutzeau comes in. I have been doing some very hard thinking about this, some very clever unwrapping of mysteries inside enigmas, a lot of meticulous un-nesting of little Russian dolls, and guess what I think I've found! No, really. See if you can guess! Guess!

Oh, you got it! That's it exactly! The Republican accusation of a Democrat/women conspiracy to encourage young people to engage in the common duties of citizenship doesn't add up. It doesn't quite make sense. There must be something more to it!

How did I figure that out? C'mon, I know you're dying for me to tell you. OK, I confess. I didn't actually figure it out myself. I owe my big light bulb moment to Jan Sanders. Mrs. Sanders is a volunteer for the League of Women Voters who was caught by a reporter for The Dallas Morning News deliberately trying to register teenagers to vote at the Yvonne A. Ewell Townview Center high school. In a story in today's Morning News, Sanders is quoted justifying her actions by saying, "It's kind of like, are you against motherhood and apple pie? I mean, nothing is more all-American than the process of registering and voting and participating in our democracy."

In the interests of objectivity and full disclosure, the News reveals to readers this morning that Sanders' passion for mothers and pie could possibly have a little something to do with the fact that she is, in fact as the paper reports, "the widow of U.S. District Judge Barefoot Sanders, who presided over the watershed court case that desegregated Dallas schools."

Aha! Of course! Mom! Apple pie! Desegregation!

But then I took it the next step. What on earth is wrong with mom? Or apple pie or voting? Or, for that matter, desegregation? And that question was what brought me to the big break-through.

Nothing is wrong with those things! Nothing at all! In fact, mom is good. Apple pie is good. Desegregation is good. And the well-being and long-term stability of the entire American system of government, not to mention the moral philosophical underpinnings of the society, are based on voting.

So how could it be bad to encourage young people to vote? Or any people, for that matter? And then it came to me. It's not!

So what's really going on? What is the matryoshka doll nested inside the Republican accusation of a Democrat/women conspiracy to encourage voting by public school students? What are the Republicans really worried about? What is the mystery all mushed up inside an enigma and so on?

Damn it. I am so close to that final step. I will let you know when I solve it. I suspect it has something to do with the upcoming election and Mitt Romney getting caught saying half the people in the country are losers. It must be tied into some kind of strategy in which the Republicans figure they can neutralize the effect of all that if they can just find a way to keep the loser half of the nation from voting.

But there I go again. Got the old tin-foil hat on, don't I? I admit it. I just love this stuff. Calisthenics for the brain. I'll let you know if I figure it out, and if you figure it out ahead of me we'll arrange a double-blind drop with a cut-out so you can pass the information on to me.

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45 comments
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

This says it all about the republican effort to suppress Democratic voting:

 

"Voter ID, which is gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania, done." --Mike Tuzai, PA State House republican leader.

eric.hilton
eric.hilton

Let them vote. Let's be honest. As long as their voting legally, who give a            who is encouraged to vote. And who cares who what area and demo that is targeted. The young will generally vote left. They also generally won't vote. The right just needs to find a demo that doesn't vote but *should* vote right and get them to do so. Voting should always be encouraged, even if all politicians are fakes, who cheated and lied to get to where they are and are probably killers... See what I did there? 

WadeEmmert
WadeEmmert

Come on JS, you know better than that.

 

Republicans want people to get registered.  Our democracy is better when everyone has a chance to vote.

 

My issue is that Dallas County is targeting certain areas rather than all areas.  They partnered with overtly partisan groups, like labor unions, who have specific agendas.  Some of these groups proudly proclaim their progressive focus. Dallas County should have stayed non-partisan.

 

I also think that if their goal is to register 18 year olds, they should have gone to private and charter schools too.  Let's register all 18 year olds. Instead, they cherry picked specific schools in predominantly democratic areas.

Americano
Americano

You can't blame the Dems for wanting to capitalize on a major advantage.  Twelve years of brainwashing in the public school system.  Get 'em dependent early, and you have slaves for a lifetime. 

Myrna.Minkoff-Katz
Myrna.Minkoff-Katz topcommenter

Republicans no longer believe in the right to vote.  Their retrograde mentality has them scurrying across the country feverishly pushing legislation to re-establish a poll tax and other restrictions that harken back to the Jim Crow era.  This is all they have left.  Theirs is a party bankrupt of new ideas; a panicking lot terrified that demographic changes will eventually wipe them out.

James080
James080 topcommenter

Party Chairs, local and national, tend to inhabit the extreme wing of their party, and typically make stupid comments. I say register all the high school kids.  Maybe they'll take a look at how badly the federal government is screwing up their future and possibly they will become politically involved on some level.

holmantx
holmantx topcommenter

the short answer:

 

The Left is down to women and children (ha!).

pak152
pak152

 @Myrna.Minkoff-Katz well we could always go back to the usual way of voting by Democrats. find out how many votes you need then the magic ballot box turns up with that number. google ballot box 13 lbj. or check out the election of Al Franken http://www.redstate.com/martin_a_knight/2010/11/02/democrats-and-union-officials-miraculously-finding-lost-ballot-boxes-in-their-car-trunks/

of course no Democrat would ever think of voting in two different places

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/maryland-politics/post/maryland-democrat-quits-congressional-race-amid-vote-fraud-allegations/2012/09/10/d0ff9b1e-fb73-11e1-b2af-1f7d12fe907a_blog.html

or gawd forbid bribe absentee voters

http://www.fox16.com/news/local/story/Ark-lawmaker-pleads-guilty-to-election-charge/qjc8PtXwfkC8frDCgwLNrg.cspx

 

pak152
pak152

 @WadeEmmert and that is my problem with these voter registration efforts they target areas that are predominantly Democratic. They only want to register those voters most likely to vote Democratic. Similar thing happened in Virginia where a liberal/progressive group sent out voter registtration notifications to predominantly Democratic precincts. but the mailings also went to dead people, family pets and people who had moved away

Edward
Edward

 @WadeEmmert "Republicans want people to get registered.  Our democracy is better when everyone has a chance to vote."

 

Thanks, Wade. You made me spit out my Diet DP with that incredibly ignorant statement. Or do you not pay any attention to the extremely aggressive attempts by the Republican party across the country to limit voter registration, limit voting availability, basically limit everything they can relating to people being able to vote?

 

I find it astounding that you can even type that sentence – and it's clear that anyone can't believe anything else you might write or say from now on. 

 

I can see how you might have an opinion of how the election department goes about its business, but to say that Republicans want people to get registered and vote is just a easily proven lie.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@WadeEmmert That's a great quote that you gave ch. 8. I love it when you folks reveal your true feelings and accidentally say exactly what you mean

mavdog
mavdog topcommenter

Isn't the League of Women Voters non-partisan?

 

Looking at the list of schools on the website, there's no support for the assertion of "cherry picked specific schools in predominately democratic areas". Are Coppell, Pearce, Sunnyvale and White in strong democrat areas? no,not at all.

 

face it, the bitching about this event is not based on the facts and not very becoming. it is making republicans look silly and petty.

ket354
ket354

But Wade, isn't it easier to deal with one or two school districts than dozens of Charter Schools and Private Schools?  If you want to be in front of the most 18 year olds as quickly as possible do you call Prime Prep or DISD?

 

In other words, the fact that it was easier to only include public schools is a far more reasonable explanation than anything you and and the tin-foil-journalist will ever come up with.

 

But you were right to make a stink. It's your job. Some jobs are like that.

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @WadeEmmert So why isn't the answer for y'all to get out there are register a bunch of plaid skirt and blazers kids instead of bitching about the 47-percenters getting to vote? 

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 @Americano Right. Because homeschooled children are typically far more open minded.

 

*eyeroll*

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

 @holmantx Like many a novice chess player, you're not looking far enough ahead into the game.  The Right has castled their king and rook, a good short term defense, but tactically and strategically limiting their future.

To put it in political terms, the Right shored up their numbers by co-opting the Tea Party.  Problem is, the republicans tend to be older and less diverse.  Their future is a vision of an ever smaller and tighter pool of voters.  They don't have the foresight to actively engage the largest untapped voter block in the country:  The kids who will be voting for the first time in a future election.

I think we'll see a sea change in both parties.  The younger generations are coming up better informed and with vastly superior access to information than we did.  Business as usual in politics, whether left or right, liberal or conservative, is just not going to cut it much longer.

observist
observist topcommenter

 @holmantx  Who together with racial minorities make a solid majority.

 

 

 

 

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @TheCredibleHulk And even if they do, think about this one: who are the absolute masters of fake ID? Kids!

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @Edward  @WadeEmmert His economics is just as fact free.  Still waiting for a rebuttal to my argument and explanation suggesting higher top marginal rates and cap gains encourages capital intensive productive.   None of the conservative economics types can explain their voodoo (economics)

WadeEmmert
WadeEmmert

 @JimSX Because government organizations, like say, the ELECTIONS DEPARTMENT, should be neutral, right?

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @TheCredibleHulk  @Americano Yeah, home schoolers, the one constituency still loyal to Cong. Todd Akin of locked vaginas fame.

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @RTGolden1  @holmantx I'm not sure kids are worth a damn.  But, our kids have always been disappointing--to the older generation. 

ket354
ket354

McLovin is not a registered voter?

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @JimSX  @TheCredibleHulk years ago, someone I know got an older friend's voter ID to get a license to drink.  He, I hear, still gets those old voter ID's sent to his parent's house.  I don't think anyone bothered to try vote fraud, but that could certainly explain at least one of these suspicious registrations.  I don't think he ever thought to try to use that for anything once he turned 21

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 @JimSX Looks like we need to team them up with all of those undocumented folk that are all clamoring for an opportunity to vote.

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @RTGolden1  @Edward  @WadeEmmert It's not self adulation.   I'm saying we need to move one way, and many, many are all saying, go the other.   It's not adulation, it's a question, a vital question of which direction to head--more of the same, or a real re-assessment of our course? 

 

What really rankles me is to have people parrot the GOP way, but none of them can explain how it's supposed to work.  I've explained how the higher rates encourages hiring, capital expansion.   I honestly see it as the single best solution/or the greatest cause of how we got here.  

 

I'm trying to foster discussion.   I also am not ashamed to be wrong.   If I've misunderstood something, fine, what is it?  But, Holman, who half the time has awesome analysis reverts to, "...but, Reagan liked lower taxes"   I don't mind being wrong.  But Holman seems to retreat like a sniveling little child.

RTGolden1
RTGolden1 topcommenter

 @scottindallas  @Edward  @WadeEmmert Trust me scott, no one on these boards will every forget that you are the originator of the idea that raising top marginals encourages economic growth.  WE GOT IT.  You can ease up and talk about other issues every once in a while.  Not every story has to be steered toward self adulation.

WadeEmmert
WadeEmmert

 @JimSX You're right, that is a risk I run trying to keep the Elections Department neutral.  But this situation is a bit different.  This was done under the "National Voter Registration Day" press blitz.  That is not a holiday, its actually a private group with some non-partisan partners, but a bunch of progressive partners too.  They should stay out of those partisan groups.  If I don't call them on it, who will?

 

Bottom line, if their goal was to register 18 year olds, and that's a worthy goal, they should have included more schools, like private and charter, rather than cherry-picking certain public schools.

 

Jim, you're not kidding anyone, you like a good conspiracy as much as anyone! :-)

JimSX
JimSX topcommenter

 @WadeEmmert Mm. Not sure I follow what you mean by neutral. If a bunch of Democrats show up and ask the department to help them register kids, seems to me they should do it.  Then if a bunch of Republicans show up and ask the same thing, they should do the same thing for you. Your problem in this is that,no matter how you slice it, you wind up sounding unhappy about more people voting., which does, after all, reinforce a certain stereotype about you. As the late Coleman Young, Mayor of Detroit, once said, speaking of white myths about the anatomy of black men, "Some stereotypes are true."

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

 @JimSX  @Americano Nice.

 

I'm considering sending you one of those "Stand With Todd" t-shirts for your birthday.

TheCredibleHulk
TheCredibleHulk topcommenter

@observist @scottindallas @Myrna.Minkoff-Katz Rast

scottindallas
scottindallas topcommenter

 @holmantx  @observist If you can help it eh?   Try boning up on your economics rather than partisan politics that you fail to grasp.

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