One Million Moms Strikes Again: The Real Reason JC Penney President Michael Francis Got Canned

Categories: Biz

Michael Franis Mug.jpg

Update at 4:54 p.m.: JC Penney just sent me a statement. As expected, it makes no mention of One Million Moms:

Michael's departure does not signify a change to jcpenney's long-term transformation plans. We remain focused on our vision to becoming America's favorite store through great product and exciting new brands, a dynamic shops environment and an ongoing commitment to treating customers Fair and Square.

Original Post: In October, JC Penney picked former Target exec Michael Francis as its president and head of a "dream team" formed to transform JC Penney from an outmoded relic of 1950s consumer culture into, in the words of JC Penney Chief Executive Ron Johnson, America's favorite store.

That dream lasted all of eight months. Francis was ousted yesterday with no explanation from the company. The Wall Street Journal, which is typically on top of these things, speculates that his departure could be tied to a marketing strategy that confused customers, what with the pledge to offer lower prices and do away with gimmicky "sales," then the quiet reversion to sales "best price Fridays," then coming back around and embracing sales. Others speculate that it was a double-digit plunge in same-store sales, or plummeting stock prices.

That's about what you'd expect from those Jesus-loathing media types, always seeking a secular explanation, but it ignores the crystal-clear evidence that Francis' departure was an act of God, or, more specifically, of God acting through his earthly bludgeon, One Million Moms. The group, which single-handedly destroyed the otherwise masterful television series GCB and The Playboy Club, has not yet claimed credit for vanquishing this foe as it tends to do on its website, but just track the sequence of events.

About two weeks ago, JC Penney unveiled a Father's Day ad that showed a gay couple playing with -- and corrupting by their very presence -- their adopted children. OMM calls for a boycott. JC Penney, still crippled from OMM's protest over its hiring of uber-gay Ellen Degeneres as its spokeswoman (how else do you explain the dropping sales?), had no choice but to repent of its sacrilegious ways and fire the man responsible for dragging the heretofore respectable American corporation into the clutches of Satan. "If your right hand causes you to sin" and whatnot.

Not to put words in the mouth of OMM, but it's safe to say you can once again shop at JC Penney without compromising your immortal soul. It goes without saying that JC Penney's bank accounts will now overfloweth with the cash of the righteous and that it will be the favorite store of the real America.

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Jeanne_Riggs
Jeanne_Riggs

One million moms (actually there only about 40,000 of you idiots) :  I am straight. My message for you? GET A LIFE AND KISS MY ASS.  Mind your own fucking business and leave the rest of us alone, you stupid inbred, misled, mindless parrots.

Rose Johnson
Rose Johnson

Stupidest thing I have read today. OMM are a bunch of pathetic whiny bible thumping ignorant women who pick and choose who they target based on their little backwards morals and ignore the corruption of other companies. Plus jcp is probably mostly loosing customers because their new stuff sucks.

Ibible
Ibible

Bottom line...its all about money and not ellen!!! everyone knows what makes the world go round and its not ellen!!! OMM's need to get a job and then get a life.

Mike
Mike

One analyst on CNBC got it right. The only loathing occurring is what the new execs feel for their long time customers. They did not come from their respective coasts to run an upscale Target. They want to be with the cool people at Nordstrom or Macy's. Unfortunately they only started trashing the existing customers before they could get in the cool products for the new customers. Consequently sales went into the dumper. Bad news is most Penney's customers have not yet gone into a store yet to learn they are no longer welcome. The really bad news is the desired cool customers will likely have little reason to even try JCP. Take pity on their stockholders. Christmas will not be very merry.

Csmith5277
Csmith5277

I hope most of the one million moms children turn out to be gay! These moms make me sick!!

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