If Your Conscience and the Drought Won't Stop You From Watering, Dallas Will Irritate You Into Submission

LawnWhisperer.jpg
Please. Put away your hose, uproot your automatic sprinkler system, and watch sadly as your patch of St. Augustine scorches and shrivels until it's a dusty brown wasteland, because it's better than the alternative.

Dallas Water Utilities and the Tarrant Regional Water District announced this morning that they are bringing back the "Lawn Whisperer" campaign to remind you to conserve the region's finite water supply by watering only when necessary, twice a week max.

The campaign worked last year. Says this morning's press release: "The 'Lawn Whisperer' campaign demonstrated a significantly strong message recall by respondents."

No shit. When you produce something as irritating as the lawn whisperer, of course it'll be memorable.

I'm think there's still time to head this off. Don't stop with the lawn. No more showering for me. And tap water's out. Only imported beer from here forward. And remember: Yellow is mellow, brown stays around, okay? This is going to take a concerted effort.

My Voice Nation Help
10 comments
A Way With Words
A Way With Words

The water-conservation instruction that is reprised in this piece makes no sense. The version I am familiar with, which the old hippies used to say, especially in places with limited amounts of well water was, "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." It meant: Conserve water by not flushing the toilet if all you've done is pee."  

Deenamarshall
Deenamarshall

Lawn Whisperer? It's the code inspectors who are aggressively enforcing the new ordinance. And, as usual, against homeowners who are out testing the new controller they had to buy because the old one couldn't be programmed for specific days, with a postage stamp lawn, who happen to have never had a water bill over $60. For gods sake, if you're testing your sprinkler system, don't walk away for 30 seconds to answer the phone.

gabbahey
gabbahey

I think I'll abide by this ridiculous DWU requirement, when the N. Texas cities (i.e. Dallas Water Utilities) STOP selling our water to the Natural Gas companies.

Scruffygeist
Scruffygeist

I'm pretty sure for North Texas the drought no longer exists, as far as drought-calling experts go. We're amazingly above the average for rainfall this year. Still though, if you need to water your lawn more than twice a week you're a dingus.

J. Erik Jonsson
J. Erik Jonsson

One of a handful of planning projects Dallas has ever gotten right is securing water.  We're not in a shortage, and the City's own numbers indicate that we wouldn't face one for many years even if we stopped adding capacity.  So frustrating.

And who is it that thinks that watering restrictions are the way to conserve water.  JUST CHARGE MORE FOR THE WATER!

Wylie H.
Wylie H.

And... just to be clear, the City of Dallas is the only municipality served by Dallas Water Utilities to be required to make this sacrifice.

In other words, Mary Suhm is hammering Dallas residents to ensure a plentiful supply of cheaper water to suburban DWU customers.

jfpo
jfpo

Not to mention the frackers. They need lots of water. I would also like to more non-residential customer accountability. Addison had its sprinklers running ( watering medians, for fuck's sake) while it was raining. The Chase branch on Buckner and Garland is notorious for this as well. Too many apartment complexes to name often water more pavement than grass.

phe_75034
phe_75034

This is not a smart-ass question. I really don't know the answer:

What other cities get water from DWU? Most everyone gets water from NTMWD, which is still under Stage 2 restrictions.

Ian
Ian

Carrollton, Farmers Branch, Addison, Irving, Grand Prairie, DeSoto, Duncanville, Cedar Hill, Lancaster, Coppell, Flower Mound, Lewisville and Upper Trinity Water District (untreated water). NTMWD will be buying water from DWU this year as well.

phe_75034
phe_75034

And there you go. I had no idea. Thanks for enlightening me.

Now Trending

From the Vault

 

General

Loading...