The Modern Texas GOP, a Viper's Nest of Mao-Lovin' Commie Bastards

Categories: Schutze

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On the one hand, our former mayor and Republican primary candidate for the U.S. Senate, Tom Leppert, wasn't afraid to break GOP ranks and tell us that his fellow Republican opponent Ted Cruz is a known communist sympathizer. Amazing.

On the other hand, now we also know that Leppert himself is a fellow-traveling soft-on-communism pinko libtard. Astounding! That's the problem with these Republican primaries these days. They're exciting to watch, but they always wind up totally destroying our faith in America.

The story by Ed Timms reveals that Leppert swilled booze and engaged in physical interplay with Chinese people.

Leppert has been going after Cruz for being a Maoist-Leninist moral monster because Cruz, in his career as a private attorney, once represented a Chinese tire company. Cruz, by the way, does also admit in his own on-line bio that he has a history as a solicitor.

The Dallas Morning News, on the other hand, has a very shocking story this morning revealing that Leppert once went on a trade mission to China. Timms' co-writer on the expose was Robert T. Garrett, known in the business as the J.J. ("Jake") Gittes of the Morning News Austin Bureau. These two gumshoes say in their piece that Leppert's intercourse with the Chinese involved "a lively 11-course dinner punctuated by handshaking, backslapping and more than a few toasts laced with promises of long-lasting friendship and cooperation."

Man! That's the kind of stuff it used to take a whole team of CIA spooks years to assemble, squinting through countless peepholes, holding their breath behind innumerable hotel room curtains trying not to let their toes show and clicking countless Polaroids from white vans across the street.

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Aha! Let's see you talk your way out of this one Mr. ... or shall we say Comrade ... Cruz.
Now all we need is a Texas Republican Senate primary, and all the totally shocking evil dirt just comes gushing out. Cruz, the "Don't Tread on Me" guy beloved of the national Tea Party, is actually a dirty red. Leppert, the supposed Christian conservative business guy, is really a toast-swilling Chinese-hugger.

What next? We're probably going to find out the whole operation is run by Justin Bieber.

I have to admit, though, I sort of love it. It's all terrible, terrible, terrible, but it's also kind of exciting, don't you think?

It's so retro. I wish Cruz and Leppert would both start wearing little skinny neckties, pop-bottle glasses and stingy-brim hats and wave around secret lists of known communists whom they promise to expose in Senate hearings if elected.

Cool.

Sometimes I do put down the newspaper or turn off the TV news, sigh pensively and think, "But who is actually going to govern the country?" Then I always slap myself in the forehead and say, "Hey, dude, who appointed you the official Department of Who's Going to Govern the Country?" And then I go get some corn chips.

Personal tip: If you ever do run into Robert Garrett, do not ... repeat NOT ... ask him what the hell happened to his nose.


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18 comments
disability mobility
disability mobility

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come_home
come_home

 Isn't Cruz a Mexican name?

BTW, his only qualification to be Senator is that Freedom Works is financing his campaign.

Didn't the Palins endorse Gingrich?

S Aten
S Aten

I thought Tom Leppert was a Big Govt. Socialist with his tax payer funded hotel, String bridge across the Trinity & of course the buckets on money to fund the Trinity Tollroad.   Can he be a Socialist & a Communist sympathizer?

primi_timpano
primi_timpano

Tell me more about TL's intercourse with the Chinese?  I fear that even prayer and free markets can't save his soul after this honey pot.  There must be pictures, maybe even video.  He is too compromised to live in America any longer.

primi_timpano
primi_timpano

Tom Leppert is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

Rtgolden
Rtgolden

Looks like JimS will have to switch party loyalties yet again.

Titus Groan
Titus Groan

Is China where the convention center hotel idea came from?

It's all starting to make sense...

Steve T
Steve T

Primaries are such fun--lots of great critisms that the opponent of the other party can pull out in the general election (like Sarah Palin and other ultras mashing Romney for his Bain Cannibal raiding).

mydeepestapologies
mydeepestapologies

I think I also remember hearing that Leppert's favorite actress was Jane Fonda. The evidence ain't looking too good for comrade Tom.

Confused
Confused

Tea party backing a Hispanic candidate?

I thought the tea party was a bunch of misguided old white folks unable to "embrace the fabric" of modern day society.

Mountain Creek
Mountain Creek

Love it!  Schutze calling someone else a "fellow-traveling soft-on-communism pinko libtard".  This is amazing stuff: the stuff that dreams are made of.  This will provide ample ammo for a full-out war between the candidates.  I triple-dog dare anyone at any presser or debate to ask "Leppert, you've been described in the Dallas press as a 'fellow-traveling soft-on-communism pinko libtard"; do you care to respond?  What proof do you have that you are not?

Glad he's not running in Arizona!

BSG
BSG

Yeah. It's Dewhurst that is slapping Cruz with the Evil Chinese Company ad. Not Leppert. How can you miss that? It's on TV every five minutes. 

observist
observist

Exactly.  If establishing a government-owned hotel isn't communist-sympathizing I don't know what is.

PlanoDave
PlanoDave

How dare those Tea Party bastards not adhere to the liberal, mass-media storyline!!!!

Paul
Paul

 Watch your manners, young fella, starting right off with a "triple-dog-dare" ...

Oak Cliff Townie
Oak Cliff Townie

True but my knowing that it might just say more  about my lack of a life right now than Jims Senility

primi_timpano
primi_timpano

I have here a list of two hundred seven persons who are known by Tom Leppert as being members of the Communist Party

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