Rep. Ralph Hall of Rockwall Defeats Super PAC, Tea Party, Old Age and the Sky

Categories: Campaign News

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Ralph Hall.
All you need to know about U.S. Representative Ralph Hall's decisive win in the 4th Congressional District Tuesday night is that he went skydiving on Memorial Day. He wore a jumpsuit printed with undulating American flags and fell from the plane, plummeting briefly in free-fall, his arms flapping slightly, like wings. His tandem partner pulled the cord, the parachute snatched them from their descent, and the two floated gently to earth, whereupon they made a truly pro landing, to the cheers of bystanders. A veteran of the U.S. Army Airborne pinned a pair of Jump Wings to his chest.

"I want to do it again," said the 16-term congressman, who'd recently turned 89.

One might ask, "How do you defeat such a man?"

You do not. He defeats you. You can put him up against a Tea-Party favorite, a race car driver, a Super PAC run by a construction magnate who spends nearly 200 grand in attack ads to undermine his conservative credentials, a Congress that is about as popular as Lebron James in a watering hole located beneath a bridge in Cleveland, and he still wins with 59 percent of the vote in a three-way race. Oof.

He's dug into the 4th deeper than a tick on a blue heeler's ass. When voters chased the Democrats out of Texas, he simply evolved into a Republican. He's a survivor. Mark my words: When the radioactive ash drifts from the sky like snow, and mankind is mouldering in the cold, cold ground, there will be only Hall, with nothing but the cockroaches and his memories of weightlessness and a brief free-fall to keep him company.

So, congratulations, Congressman Hall. Here's to 16 more.


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13 comments
Steven Lule
Steven Lule

Who will dare to be great??!!! Representative Ralph Hall does and will continue to do so.

J. Erik Jonsson
J. Erik Jonsson

Isn't the real story here how the Tea Party guy barely even came in second?

Montemalone
Montemalone

I just figured out how to beat the high cost of retirement. I'll be running for Congress when I'm 65.Keep your eyes open for my campaign in 2030.I'll put in a half dozen or so terms, go skydiving on the moon, and let y'all pay for it all.

Now I Get It!
Now I Get It!

The man is still sharp as a tack.  He knows what's going on in Washington and he votes how his constituents ask him to vote.  Even when he was a "Democrat" he was often voting against his own party when his constituents voted against it. If anyone viable had shown up in the past few election cycles, he might have been voted out of the primary.  Heck, he might have even stepped down.  The truth is, his competition is inexperienced and comes across as bitter while engaging in personal campaign attacks instead of focusing on the issues.

Justin Julian
Justin Julian

Well, the Obs likes him, so it looks like the criticism directed towards his conservatism was accurate.  A 16-term 89-year-old...that's what I call a poster boy for term limits.  I have a grandpa around his age.  We don't let him do any of his own paperwork or drive himself anymore.  THIS guy is deciding our legal future.  

Perry Moore
Perry Moore

Don't run in Rep. Hall's district. He will kick your youthful butt.

ChrisYu
ChrisYu

conservatives cry term limits when they see no other way to get a Ted Kennedy out of DC.i vote conservative too, but the voters of the 4th district have spoken and will get what they deserve. do you want anybody calling term limits on Sam Johnson?

Lakewooder
Lakewooder

I get what you're sayin', but c'mon dude, the man skydives!

Citizen Kim
Citizen Kim

"Weekend at Bernie's III - Skydiv'in"

Perry Moore
Perry Moore

Well after all, the man is a survivor. When he gets to the point that he forgets his parachute, we will have conclusive evidence that he is ready to retire.

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